# Life is not good right now **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2017, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-is-not-good-right-now/779070 "2017-02-05T16:58:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2018, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-is-not-good-right-now/779070/81 "2018-11-05T16:38:33Z")
Aah, I misread that as you doing it for a year before that first review, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-is-not-good-right-now/779070/82 "2018-11-18T01:11:39Z")
And, I’m outta there. A new chapter begins … ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-is-not-good-right-now/779070/83 "2018-11-18T01:27:43Z")
Congratulations. I knew it would all work out well for you when I saw how you’d taken control of your circumstances. Well done! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-is-not-good-right-now/779070/84 "2018-11-19T21:59:43Z")
That’s all great news! Moving forward, definitely moving up to a position where those head games and weirdness are behind you. Happy shopping! I wanted to address this - > [@Acsenray](#): > > /snipped by me/ > V. Okay, then, there’s a special case. > > One of my long-time advisers and references (let’s call her “H”) was once the top dog at the new organization. For many years since her retirement she eagerly took my calls and met up for chats about our shared professional realm, although we never had a coffee or a meal together—she was always very busy with her own social and professional commitments. I would always update her on my interviews, etc. > > At some point in the past year, she stopped responding to my calls and e-mails. She’s been dealing with serious health problems since her retirement, but I’ve asked around other people who know her and she is still meeting people for meals and such, although maybe not as much. So I know she’s not on her deathbed. > > I’m afraid I did something to annoy or offend her, or she’s just decided that given her limited time left on earth, I’m not one of the people she can afford to entertain. I do value her advice and time over the years, and whatever her feelings about me now, I’d like to let her know directly of my job situation. Is it okay for me to send a note and flowers, for example, being aware that she’s avoiding me for whatever reason? > > Thanks again, everyone! Since you reached out last w/o a response from her, it appears she does not need your acknowledgement. The chance of warm fuzzies from your gesture could be outweighed by annoyance. She may have moved past her career memories and relationships permanently considering her poor health; show your appreciation by respecting her choice not to communicate w/ you. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-is-not-good-right-now/779070/85 "2018-11-19T23:16:28Z")
Congrats! I’m glad it all worked out. 🙂 I think you should send “V” a nice calligraphy note, giving her the update, and wishing her well. After all those years of contacts, I doubt you’ve offended her. I suspect that she’s just changed her priorities. I would think she would still like a nice note of appreciation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-is-not-good-right-now/779070.md?page=4)