# Life should be amazing, but it's not **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919 "2012-03-27T02:37:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/21 "2012-03-27T15:56:12Z")
[Fuckin’ magnets. How do they work???](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs) (Warning: Insane Clown Posse song.) ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/22 "2012-03-27T16:54:50Z")
> [@Three\_Packs\_a\_Day](#): > > I thought to myself how non-euphoric the astronauts who’ve been to space and/or landed on the moon were when it happened; They had a few things to do other than stand around and talk about how euphoric they were about being on the moon or in space. > [@](#): > > if you asked them what it was like, they would respond the same way everyone does about senior prom- ‘eh, dissapointing, not that great.’ Not from what I’ve read. > [@](#): > > I know that theoretically life is an amazing thing. Right now I’m typing on an amazing computer device, communicating with thousands of fellow conscious apes on a ball of matter flying through outer space at an unthinkable speed that used to have giant lizards walking on it; and yet, I just feel meh. It should be amazing, but it’s not really. > > Sucks. But if you spent all your time wandering around thinking about how amazing life is, you’d never get anything done. This would be a severe survival disadvantage, especially if you were in an environment that included things like saber-tooth tigers (though not that much better in an environment that includes 2000+ pound vehicles traveling at upwards of 60 miles per hour). The people who did wander around overcome with euphoria a significant part of the time would have been less likely to survive than those who can put that amazement aside and deal with the tasks at hand. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/23 "2012-03-27T17:00:04Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > If anyone is in need of travelling the world rather than creepily trespassing through high schools, it’s the OP. And miss out on the barfing bus drivers? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/24 "2012-03-27T18:35:29Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Maybe instead of seeking awe from big things, you can go smaller. Exactly. The real joy in life is in the very mundane. You just have to train yourself to see it. (And admittedly, that can take some time and effort.) ---
**Author:** ![Carmady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@Carmady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carmady)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/25 "2012-03-27T19:48:54Z")
I think it’s the opposite. Life should be unbearable, and the fact that it isn’t is amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/26 "2012-03-27T20:02:42Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Life “shouldn’t” be anything. It just is. When you start thinking life “should” be anything, the most likely outcome is that life will continue as it was, but you will be less happy. You will think something is wrong with it because it isn’t the way you think it should be. Talking about how life “should” be is a good way to make yourself unhappy. Therapists sometimes call this “shoulding all over yourself”. And using TV as your model of how life should be… well, that’s just asking for dissatisfaction. Life isn’t really like it is on TV or in the movies. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/27 "2012-03-27T20:12:20Z")
> [@Dennis Leary](#): > > Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT’S IT! End of fucking list! QFT ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/28 "2012-03-27T20:17:15Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > When you start thinking life “should” be anything, the most likely outcome is that life will continue as it was, but you will be less happy. And the opposite, if you take things at face value as they come, there can be a lot of happiness to be found. If you release yourself from expectations, then everything is like a little gift. This doesn’t mean that you can’t plan for a better future or set standards for your life, of course. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/29 "2012-03-27T20:30:18Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > You might like to watch James May going in a plane to the edge of space (I’m sure you can find it on youtube, I’m at work at the moment). > > He’s a pretty stoic guy, but it’s clear to see that he was greatly moved by the experience. Pretty cool. https://www.youtube.com/embed/x6cZLfK4Zjk?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/30 "2012-03-27T20:35:40Z")
I think that humans as a species are prone to being unsatisfied with the status quo because it confers a survival advantage to our species. If our species spent all day just enjoying life as it is and being satisfied with things as they are, we wouldn’t have made it as far as we have. The drive to want something more and make things better than they already are is what has allowed humanity to expand as successfully as it has in the world. But, yeah, if you really think about things, there are a lot of things in life that are pretty amazing, and worth appreciating. I feel grateful for what I have. I know I’m pretty lucky to live in this time period, to have the things that I do, and that many other people in the world don’t have it as good as I do. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/31 "2012-03-27T20:42:35Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > This doesn’t mean that you can’t plan for a better future or set standards for your life, of course. A crucial difference between this and just saying things “should” be a particular way is that planning for a better future has concrete steps to make things more like the way you think they should be. That’s useful. Just saying life should be a particular way, with no plan to make it that way, isn’t likely to result in your life actually changing, and is likely to result in your being unhappy. What could you do to make your life more like you think it should be, OP? Small steps are OK; they’re better than just complaining and not trying to do anything. Do you need to make more time to do stuff like look at Venus and Jupiter near the moon? Or do you need to read more inspiring books or watch more inspiring TV shows? Carl Sagan’s books and, of course, the TV series _Cosmos_ might have what you’re looking for. If you’re upset that your life is not like the lives of people you see on TV, you might be better off realizing that very few people’s lives are really like that, and work on adjusting your expectations. Unrealistic expectations are a lousy way to accomplish anything, but a great way to make yourself miserable. Expecting to go around feeling like you’re on ecstasy all the time is an unrealistic expectation. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/32 "2012-03-27T20:50:43Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > A crucial difference between this and just saying things “should” be a particular way is that planning for a better future has concrete steps to make things more like the way you think they should be. That’s useful. Just saying life should be a particular way, with no plan to make it that way, isn’t likely to result in your life actually changing, and is likely to result in your being unhappy. Yes, very true. And to take it a step further, you can only be happy in the present. Planning for a better future is nothing more than setting up a Now that has yet to happen. I think it’s also folly (though very common) to look for outside sources of happiness. Not only can you not count on them, but they have a way of being unsatisfactory. To reference the Denis Leary quote above, cigarettes, cookies, and orgasms are all great, but as sources of sustainable happiness they fail miserably. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/33 "2012-03-27T20:59:25Z")
Personally, I don’t think humans are built to be on the edge of ecstacy constantly. I think it would be like being terrified and in an adrenaline rush constantly - doing it once in a while is great, but you’re just not meant to have adrenaline coursing through your body all the time. Same with ecstacy. How would you appreciate the extraordinary if nothing was commonplace? StG ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/34 "2012-03-27T21:10:35Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > Personally, I don’t think humans are built to be on the edge of ecstacy constantly. I agree, and I think there are good evolutionary reasons why this is. If you’re on the edge of ecstasy about something, you’re probably not paying attention to anything else that is going on around you. That would be quite dangerous if there were the possibility of, say, a wild animal sneaking up on you and eating you. It’s not entirely safe now, even. I remember when I went to Australia, and saw the moon my first night in Sydney. I realized that it appeared upside down relative to what I was used to it looking like at home. I tilted my head way over to one side, so I could see it looking more like it does at home, to confirm that it was indeed upside down. I walked around a bit while doing this, to keep my balance, and I almost ended up falling into Sydney Harbor. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/35 "2012-03-27T22:25:12Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Yes, very true. And to take it a step further, you can only be happy in the present. Planning for a better future is nothing more than setting up a Now that has yet to happen. > > I think it’s also folly (though very common) to look for outside sources of happiness. Not only can you not count on them, but they have a way of being unsatisfactory. To reference the Denis Leary quote above, cigarettes, cookies, and orgasms are all great, but as sources of sustainable happiness they fail miserably. I would propose that there _is_ no such thing as sustainable happiness. It’s something that can only be trusted in short bursts. The closest we come to sustained happiness is either living in memory of small moments, which is not all that sustainable, or complacency, which is a cruel joke on ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Candyman74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Candyman74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candyman74)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/36 "2012-03-28T00:31:17Z")
> [@Three\_Packs\_a\_Day](#): > > Tonight as I looked up at the sky and saw Jupiter and Venus by the moon, I thought to myself how non-euphoric the astronauts who’ve been to space and/or landed on the moon were when it happened; if you asked them what it was like, they would respond the same way everyone does about senior prom- 'eh, dissapointing, not that great.. You’re just making stuff up. No astronaut has ever replied ‘eh, dissapointing, not that great..’ I hereby diagnose you with depression. Go see a doctor. Life can be pretty darn good. And yes, looking up at Jupiter and Venus and imagining what you’re seeing is pretty frickin’ cool. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/38 "2012-03-28T00:59:08Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > They had a few things to do other than stand around and talk about how euphoric they were about being on the moon or in space. Yet as I said above they indeed did have time to do just that. > [@](#): > > But if you spent all your time wandering around thinking about how amazing life is, you’d never get anything done. This would be a severe survival disadvantage, especially if you were in an environment that included things like saber-tooth tigers (though not that much better in an environment that includes 2000+ pound vehicles traveling at upwards of 60 miles per hour). The people who did wander around overcome with euphoria a significant part of the time would have been less likely to survive than those who can put that amazement aside and deal with the tasks at hand. Shamans/medicine men would have had the opportunity to do just this as their standard modus operandi-just as long as big guy with a club is standing guard over them or something. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > I would propose that there _is_ no such thing as sustainable happiness. It’s something that can only be trusted in short bursts. > > The closest we come to sustained happiness is either living in memory of small moments, which is not all that sustainable, or complacency, which is a cruel joke on ourselves. I don’t believe in putting artificial limits on myself-I’m always trying to push the boundaries. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/39 "2012-03-28T01:11:11Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > I would propose that there _is_ no such thing as sustainable happiness. It’s something that can only be trusted in short bursts. > > The closest we come to sustained happiness is either living in memory of small moments, which is not all that sustainable, or complacency, which is a cruel joke on ourselves. And I propose that there is. There are bumps in the road, to be sure, but we all have the wherewithal to get past them. And that happiness is neither in memories nor in complacency. It’s all in where (and when!) we put our attention. I truly believe that sustainable happiness is our natural state. It’s just when we pile unnecessary junk on top of it that we cover it up. The trick is to learn when the junk is just junk, and to shed it. I know I haven’t convinced you of that with just this post, but I hope to at some point. I’d love to see you “get it.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/40 "2012-03-28T01:16:43Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I don’t believe in putting artificial limits on myself-I’m always trying to push the boundaries. Awesome. Thank you. Do you sometimes think that the only person standing in your way is you, with your own self-imposed limitations? ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919/41 "2012-03-28T01:16:55Z")
suggestion: instead of trying to make life seem more wonderful to yourself, try making it seem more wonderful to someone else. It’s usually more interesting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-should-be-amazing-but-its-not/616919.md?page=3)