Life Skills 101 at Sitnam High School

Oh, come on. I think anyone can maintain a healthy relationship with a labrador.

How does one get up an icy hill?

Learn how to deal with the Herd. ( All personality types. Which is really a Mental Health 101 class. Anxiety, depression, drama queen, co-dependency, etc. All subjects need to be touched on and how to deal with each individual personality type.)

How Not To Be a Douchbag**. ( Manners, Reciprocity, Patience, Compassion and Kindness.) Good manners get you invited in the door and get you invited back.

Thank you notes 101**. (Hand written on a nice card in ink with legible handwriting is ALWAYS EXTRA CREDIT.)

Brave Face 101: Dealing with funerals or visiting someone in the hospital for something shitty. The sooner you do it, the easier it gets.
**Sex 101: Basics of egg and sperm stuff. (This starts when they are young.)

Sex 200 **: Ovulation Stuff and Discussions of Full Scale Spontaneous erections in Teenage boys - Death in the male sex. In full detail. Boys will not be excluded from the Crimson Tide Lectures. The penis discussions should be called The Johnson Chronicles. Discussions of Oral and anal sex. Gay sex. No rhetoric. no Churchie Fire and Brimstone Shaming. Just the facts.

Sex 300: STD’s ( in fully gorey pictures) and birth control failure stories.

**Sex 400: **A visit to Walmart on any given Saturday to people watch the various family units yelling at each other in a full scale domestic. Followed by another Field Trip to any Chucky Cheeses on a Saturday to see more insanity jacked up on crappy pizza and coke. Have them do a shopping trip to price out baby food/formula/diapers and twenty five outfits just for the first year ( factor in twenty five x 6 for sizing changes.) Then add in doctors visits, co pays, RX’s and lost wages for time off. Day care costs.

Sex 500: Attend a real live birth or watch a video. No editing or fast forwarding.

Sex 600: Baby sitting an infant for an entire weekend or at least change a really disgusting, non breastfed/formula diaper. Yanno, the stinkie ones.

Sex 700: Discussion of what the difference is between Love and Lust. This will be a thesis that counts for 40% of the grade. (Spelling and grammar count. Book reading will be involved, fiction and nonfiction.Interviewing at least 5 adults .)

If they get a 100 % in the 200-700 level courses, they are allowed to date.

How to think critically; how to avoid making common logical fallacies.

How to support yourself while going to college.

Operating larger tools like lawnmowers and snow blowers, and keeping them in running order.

Home canning and drying techniques.

Dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts . . . in yourself and others.

Personal hygiene.

Dressing for success.

I’d like to add “basic writing.” It will teach skills such as “how to write a personal letter vs. a business letter vs. a story vs. an academic paper.”

This will include “how to properly determine and cite credible sources.”

A course on cultural awareness would be good too.

How to save on utility bills- turn the thermostat down a few or 10 degrees from 68 or 78 degrees.

How to unclog a drain- hair and tooth paste will really cause a big clog.

How to give another person an orgasm without having sex- no babies and everybody is happy in the end.

How to buy your first car- something 10 years old will be cheaper in so many ways, something new will look cool but it will be expensive.

How to drink at home with friends, instead of going to bars and blowing tons of cash and getting a DUI.

How to get a few pounds of venison for free without having to hunt (and getting a hunting license, buying a gun and ammo, sitting in the cold wet woods, bleeding the deer, etc.).

Seriously, I think all of these lessons teach us how to live on our own for the least amount of money, trouble, and work possible. Way more useful than algebra and physics.

Cultural Awareness 200 - (Required to graduate) - An in-depth analysis of why your culture, or lack thereof, is not the Word of Thor.

Cultural Awareness 201 - (Required to graduate) - An in-depth look at why some cultures need to be eradicated from the face of the earth. Examples will include the Aztecs, Nazis and People Who Talk In The Theater.

The rest of Canada’s been doing it for years!

[sub]Well, except for that Churchill Falls incident.[/sub]

How to change a vacuum cleaner bag and fix the belt that drives the sweeper.

How to remove evidence of your online porn surfing

Proper tipping etiquette

And I believe already mentioned was: How not to be a douchebag

Critical thinking, through urban legends. Tell a story, and ask the kids “Do you think this really happened this way? Why or why not?”

There should be at least a unit, if not an entire course, on Why You Need to be Very Very Nice to People in Service Jobs.

Holy smoking moly, Shirley, I think you’ve created a secular abstinence curriculum on steroids!

Stain Removal.

I came in to suggest “Basic logic, understanding premises and fallacies”.

At the end of course, students are assumed to understand:

“if A then B” does not imply “if B then A”.

“given A B C then D” does not imply “D” when any of A B or C is not true.

the difference between IF and IFF (If and only if) and similarly, the difference between OR and XOR (exclusive or).

Causation, correlation and induction and the differences between them.

And add another course: “techniques of persuasive speech” as used by politicians, journalists, salespeople and preachers.

ETA: I’m aware that this looks a lot like a classical education.

This. I didn’t really come to this thread to do more than read it (I hadn’t intended on adding anything), but… I have so many acquaintences who don’t understand how this is both common courtesy and just damn useful. There are a lot of places in my neighborhood where the service people know me, and treat me well, just because I show them common courtesy and act like they’re human beings! It amazes me how many people can’t comprehend this.

How to put the new toilet roll on the holder.

Why you shouldn’t leave your shaved pubes in a shared bathroom.

Primary health issues: bad breath and stinky feet are symptoms of sloth, which is eminently treatable.

The world does not owe you a damned thing: you’re alive, it’s done its job, after that you are on your own.


I disagree with this one. There is no reason why, whatsoever, that I’ll ever need to see that. Ever. Even when my fiancee (then wife) has kids she and I have made arrangements that I will no see that. Ever.

Eh, just have them wait tables or be a salesclerk at a Big Box store for 18 months. Preferably with two holiday seasons included.

From some, High School is the end of the education line. Those are precisely the people I’d guess who’d enter the workforce early, start a family early, and possibly buy a small place early.

We built our house and had a mortgage by 26 and 27, respectively.


Perfume 101: Dousing yourself in Sex Panther or Axe is a natural deterrent to the exact reason of why you are wearing a smell to begin with.

Axe Is Just WRONG.