# life **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 24, 2002, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414 "2002-11-24T00:44:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414/21 "2002-11-24T21:31:58Z")
Since we’re trotting out clichés, let’s give this one a go; “If you want a friend, be a friend.” Do you ask people to do stuff with you, **appletreats**? Do you try to strike up conversations with people in situations throughout the day? It’s a really well-kept secret, but every one of us feels alone and lonely most of the time - and most people appreciate other people taking time to talk to them and show interest in them. Once I figured this out, my social interactions have gotten a lot easier when I realized most people appreciated my effort in talking to them in a boring situation, and didn’t pass too many judgements on how strange or uninteresting my conversation might have been. Oh yeah, and you know those boring things people always say to each other in social environments? Things like “Some weather we’re having”, stuff like that - what they actually are is human code for “I would like to talk to you, and I’m open to you talking to me too”. I figured this out in my thirties; if you’re younger than that, I hope I have saved you some time. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414/22 "2002-11-25T12:55:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rhum Runner \* > \*\*Have you considered drinking? \*\* Seriously, though. Is there a pub in your neighborhood where you’d feel comfortable going in for a couple of beers, by yourself? It’s a good start to learning that you can go out by yourself, and eventually meet people. Go in, order a pint; chances are an opportunity will present itself. If it doesn’t, then you can sit there and read the paper or something. But hey, at least you got out of the house. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414/23 "2002-11-25T16:01:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tir Tinuviel \* > \*\*Ok, I **really** want that job… how much does it pay? \*\* Pay?? Why would I want pay for something as delightful as that. I get paid with titillating conversation and the wonders of being able to contemplate the mysteries of Osipism whenever possible. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414/24 "2002-11-25T16:11:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Boscibo \* > \*\*Maybe they’re lying. Maybe they’re really staying at home too, but make up stories about their exciting lives. > > I used to be the kind of person who had to go out every single night, but I found out that staying at home can be just as fun. > > And if you want to go out, go out. I used to go out frequently by myself when I couldn’t find anyone to go with. And I usually ended up talking to someone else alone, and having fun. If you are a gloomy person, no one will want to talk to you. \*\* Damn right Boshibo, I had a friend who was and still is a virtual prisoner of his tyrannical parents, yet made everybody believe he was the life of the party, did this did that, you know, what normal people did, BUT then he had to keep lying and make more fantastic stories about his life to keep up the act, eventually people saw him as a joke, a suckup, a user and a extremely selfish person to be around. Eventually stopped being his friend when he said he had a safe of a lot of money in his bedroom wall and a secret tunnel under his garden. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414/25 "2002-11-25T16:47:01Z")
**appletreats** , if it’s any consolation, I was in exactly the same situation when I was younger. As time went on, despite my social phobia, I managed to get some good friends who I enjoyed going out with. Gradually, the phobia faded. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414/26 "2002-11-25T16:51:08Z")
I like hearing these success stories as it gives me more confidence that the condition can be tackled and eventually overcome. And a great quote to remember as well. ‘You can only love others if you have love for yourself’ ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414/27 "2002-11-29T21:54:10Z")
I’d go with joining some school groups or take a social dance class. I did that one year with my friends and everyone is really social so we would hit the salsa clubs and practice but its a fun way to meet new people and leave a class and hang out with some new friends. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414/28 "2002-11-29T22:33:32Z")
“Life. Don’t talk to me about life.” Marvin ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2002, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414/29 "2002-11-29T22:55:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by particlewill \* > \*\*“Life. Don’t talk to me about life.” > Marvin \*\* Damn! **particlewill** beat me to it. I’m pathetic. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life/138414.md?page=1)