# Like a Cold, Wet Squirrel Nose to the Balls **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545 "2014-01-23T18:39:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/21 "2014-01-24T03:01:01Z")
That will teach him a lesson about the vent stack! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/22 "2014-01-24T03:09:37Z")
> [@Tully\_Mars](#): > > I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud. You are correct. 🙂 Poor little guy. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/23 "2014-01-24T04:36:25Z")
I opened the lid on one of my toilets once, and found a live frog. Not a tiny one, mind you. I successfully relocated it\* to the back yard. \*the frog. The toilet was relocated to a trash pile as part of an unrelated house remodel. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/24 "2014-01-24T04:50:23Z")
Regular rats show up in the toilet. Why not tree rats? [Can rats swim up through the (urk) toilet? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/29/can-rats-swim-up-through-the-urk-toilet) ---
**Author:** ![QuarkChild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c5a1d2/32.png) [@QuarkChild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuarkChild)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/25 "2014-01-24T18:57:18Z")
If I were you, I’d contact a medical professional to inquire if you should get a rabies vaccine, even if you don’t think it bit you. Rabies is 99+% fatal once symptoms appear. IANAD. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/26 "2014-01-24T21:03:02Z")
Rabid Toilet Squirrels? Band name! ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/27 "2014-01-24T21:07:56Z")
> [@QuarkChild](#): > > If I were you, I’d contact a medical professional to inquire if you should get a rabies vaccine, even if you don’t think it bit you. Rabies is 99+% fatal once symptoms appear. > > IANAD. Yeah, are your balls foaming at the mouth and acting all aggressive? ---
**Author:** ![epolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@epolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epolo)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/28 "2014-01-24T21:40:11Z")
> [@QuarkChild](#): > > If I were you, I’d contact a medical professional to inquire if you should get a rabies vaccine, even if you don’t think it bit you. Rabies is 99+% fatal once symptoms appear. > > IANAD. I’m not a doctor either, but according to the [CDC](http://www.cdc.gov/rabies/exposure/animals/other.html): > [@CDC](#): > > Small rodents like squirrels, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, chipmunks, rats, and mice) and lagomorphs including rabbits and hares are almost never found to be infected with rabies and have not been known to transmit rabies to humans. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/29 "2014-01-25T16:10:22Z")
I have a rare day off and I’m sitting here sipping coffee, listening to the squirrels race about the roof. It may behoove me to make a trip to Home Depot to get some wire netting of some sort and put some screens on the vent pipes to prevent a repeat performance. When I left work yesterday, I told a coworker, “Well, I’m going home to check my squirrel traps.” ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/30 "2014-01-25T17:11:58Z")
You know how we sometimes say that this or that person has “won the thread”? It is my belief that Tully Mars has won the emoticon :eek:. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/31 "2014-01-25T17:42:50Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > You know how we sometimes say that this or that person has “won the thread”? > > It is my belief that Tully Mars has won the emoticon :eek:. yo ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/32 "2014-01-25T19:27:54Z")
> [@Tully\_Mars](#): > > I have a rare day off and I’m sitting here sipping coffee, listening to the squirrels race about the roof. It may behoove me to make a trip to Home Depot to get some wire netting of some sort and put some screens on the vent pipes to prevent a repeat performance. > > When I left work yesterday, I told a coworker, “Well, I’m going home to check my squirrel traps.” I usually do not advocate this sort of thing, but if they are biting you on the testicles,[this is what you need](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3Ya6z-NlDo). ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/33 "2014-01-25T20:37:32Z")
Well, I shouldn’t have that problem again. All of the vent pipes are now capped with stainless steel hardware cloth. I did not realize the master bath vent pipe was 4" I.D. Given that, I’m surprised that I have not been surprised before now. ---
**Author:** ![QuarkChild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c5a1d2/32.png) [@QuarkChild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuarkChild)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/34 "2014-01-25T20:45:18Z")
> [@epolo](#): > > I’m not a doctor either, but according to the [CDC](http://www.cdc.gov/rabies/exposure/animals/other.html): Good to know, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/35 "2014-01-25T21:12:47Z")
> [@Tully\_Mars](#): > > When I left work yesterday, I told a coworker, “Well, I’m going home to check my squirrel traps.” Thank you for the new euphemism. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/36 "2014-01-25T23:47:14Z")
I was out walking once, minding my own business, when a squirrel crossed my path walking backwards and dragging an intact Danish that was as big as he was. You could almost hear the thought going through his mind: “Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! What a catch!” It was wrapped in a napkin, so I thought I’d help the little guy out by unwrapping it for him. Big mistake. When I bent over, he backed away nervously and sat there watching me, waiting to see what would happen next. As soon as I touched it, he was all over my hand and forearm, growling and gnashing his teeth. He didn’t bite me, but he backed off when I shouted “Hey!” and sat there huffing and glaring at me with an expression on his face I never knew squirrels could have. I felt kind of silly, since I knew it was his breakfast (and lunch, and dinner), and I really had no business interfering with his efforts. It was also kind of dumb for me to think a wild animal would know I was trying to help, rather than stealing his booty. So I just backed away slowly and let him get on with it. He grabbed ahold of the roll and resumed tugging it backwards toward his nest. I’ve always hoped another predator didn’t get him before he got home, and that he enjoyed his meal(s). ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/37 "2014-01-26T00:05:06Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > So I just backed away slowly and let him get on with it. He grabbed ahold of the roll and resumed tugging it backwards toward his nest. I’ve always hoped another predator didn’t get him before he got home, and that he enjoyed his meal(s). I can visualize a hawk sitting in a tree, “Look! Dinner and dessert!” I saw a red-tail hawk nab a large squirrel once. I was impressed the he could fly off with it. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/38 "2014-01-26T01:59:53Z")
Q: Aren’t you glad that you didn’t piss off the squirrel? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/39 "2014-01-26T02:56:38Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > I felt kind of silly, since I knew it was his breakfast (and lunch, and dinner), and I really had no business interfering with his efforts. It was also kind of dumb for me to think a wild animal would know I was trying to help, rather than stealing his booty. > > So I just backed away slowly and let him get on with it. He grabbed ahold of the roll and resumed tugging it backwards toward his nest. I’ve always hoped another predator didn’t get him before he got home, and that he enjoyed his meal(s). I hope he did, too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2014, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545/40 "2014-01-26T03:07:09Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Q: Aren’t you glad that you didn’t piss off the squirrel? A: Better to piss of the squirrel than to piss on the squirrel. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-a-cold-wet-squirrel-nose-to-the-balls/679545.md?page=3)