# Like limericks? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 10, 2008, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022 "2008-02-10T10:24:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Enterprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/76d3ee/32.png) [@Enterprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enterprise)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/21 "2008-02-11T15:43:07Z")
J.A. Cuddon’s highly idiosyncratic _Dictionary of Literary Terms & Literary Theory_, which is highly recommended and much more fun than it sounds, gives an entirely inappropriate three pages to limericks (you can see Cuddon having one heck of a lot of fun with that). My favorite, stolen from there: Titian was mixing rose madder. His model posed nude on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition. So he nipped up the ladder 'ad 'er. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/22 "2008-02-11T15:48:56Z")
I likes my limericks clean. 🙂 No offense, but I think they’re more clever that way. There was a young lady named Kite Whose speed was much faster than light. She left home one day In a relative way And returned on the previous night. And I now see that \*\*Seige \*\* posted something that’s almost identical. Oh, well. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/23 "2008-02-11T16:06:54Z")
This one depends on the vagaries of English spelling: A young fellow named Cholmondeley Colquhoun Once kept as a pet a babolquhoun His mother said “Cholmondeley Do you think it’s quite colmondeley To feed your babolquhoun with a spolquhoun?” ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/24 "2008-02-11T16:18:09Z")
Limericking an old favorite four-liner toast: To Boston! We give it the nod As hub of the universe; cod And beans it is home for; Where Lowells are known for Conversing entirely with God. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/25 "2008-02-11T19:10:51Z")
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] There once was a chap from Japan Whose limericks never would scan When he was asked why He’d always reply “It’s because I like to try and put as many words into the last line as I possibly can.” [/QUOTE] This reminds me of my favorite limerick: A decrepit old gas man, named Peter, While hunting around for the meter Struck a leak with his light, And arose out of sight - And as you can see by reading this, he also quite destroyed the meter. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/26 "2008-02-11T19:34:04Z")
There once was a fellow named Sweeney Whose girl was a horrible meanie The hatch of her snatch Had a catch that would latch She could only be screwed by Houdini! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/27 "2008-02-11T19:36:29Z")
From deep 'neath the crypt at St. Giles Came a shriek that re-echoed for miles The vicar said, "Gracious! "It’s Brother Ignatius! “He’s forgotten the bishop has piles!” There once was a choirboy of Devon Who was bugged in a haystack by seven High Anglican priests The lascivious beasts! For of such is the Kingdom of Heaven ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/28 "2008-02-11T19:36:37Z")
I’d hate to be kissed by a Manatee The prospect’s too much for my vanity Her bristly mustache Would give me a rash And destroy my last vestige of sanity ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/29 "2008-02-11T21:26:29Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > I likes my limericks clean. No offense, but I think they’re more clever that way. I’ll bet you’re the kind of guy who visits Jerusalem and doesn’t want to see the Sexiteria. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/30 "2008-02-11T23:41:01Z")
Ganked from the site mentioned in the OP: There once was a [person] from [place] Whose [body part] was [special case]. When [event] would occur, It would cause [him or her] To violate [law of time/space]. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/31 "2008-02-12T00:01:07Z")
I’ve lost the first two lines of this one, I’m afraid: [missing line 1] [missing line 2] I’ve never found lipstick Adorning your dipstick, But that’s sure FDS on your breath! ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/32 "2008-02-12T00:45:28Z")
There once was a man named Bruno Who said about sex, I do know While women are fine, Sheep are divine, But Llamas are Numero Uno That one is still my favorite… Another good one: There once was a girl named Melanie Who was asked by a man “Do you sell any?” She said, “No, sir-ee” “I give it for free” “To sell it, dear sir, would be a felony” ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/33 "2008-02-12T03:28:11Z")
Don’t know where this came from: There once was a man from Purdue Whose limericks ended on line two. And of course: There was a sweet lass from Verdun I’m a member of the MMOG _There_. I’ve been playing it since the beta started in 2003. In mid-2005, I managed to reach a skillup milestone for my avatar before anyone else. Rather than outright announce it and brag, I posted a less-than-stellar rambling poem about it, that no one “got”. When no one figured it out, aside from polite “nice poem” comments, I got more to the point with limericks, which I think worked much better: Shall I deliver a clue-by-four beaning? Knowledge can keep you from keening. I give word to the wise, Leading up to a prize! Look deeper for a poem’s hidden meaning. It didn’t take long for three people to rapidly get it then. 🙂 'Highfive to **Oli** , **Peter\_B** , and **BobbyMac**! Each wins a prize that they lack. Acrostics are fun; Riddles are done. The next limerick will have a wisecrack. ('highfive and 'heart are emotes in _There_) …and then for those who _still_ didn’t get it: There once was a member of _There_, “Hallelujah!” she did declare. “Everyone spend a while Reviewing my profile Except spammers who can kiss my derriere.” My profile is set to be hidden from the idjits in that world, which IMO mostly are the spammers. 🙂 The original poem, which wasn’t a limerick, acrostically spelled out ALL LEGENDARY, which meant I’d gotten “legendary” in all the available skills… to date a feat duplicated by only one other member. I need help. 🙂 \*\*\* Ponder ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/34 "2008-02-12T03:50:18Z")
One about my home town, Paw Paw, MI. My grandmother wrote this one for a radio contest many years ago and won. There once was a lady from Paw Paw, Who had a black crow that could Caw-Caw. She opened the door and watched the bird soar. Thats the last of the bird that she saw, saw. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2008, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/35 "2008-03-05T05:25:25Z")
Stolen from that site. There once was a man named Bertold Who drank beer when the weather grew cold As he reached for his cup… “NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!” Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled! ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2008, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/36 "2008-03-05T16:34:04Z")
[Here’s a thread on Royals Review](http://www.royalsreview.com/story/2008/2/24/172124/140) containing limericks about expectations for the Kansas City Royals 2008 season. I recall reading this one in Reader’s Digest: A limerick packs laughs anatomical In a package that’s quite economical But the good ones I’ve seen So seldom are clean And the clean ones so seldom are comical One of my favorites was from an Isaac Asimov Black Widowers story, which I wish I could find in print. The gist of it is one of the characters making the point that the written form of a poem (as opposed to merely the sound) could be an essential element in its appeal, and did so by rhyming “Ms.” with “Ls.” (the latter referring to Queen Elizabeth II). ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2008, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/37 "2008-03-05T17:40:11Z")
[QUOTE=Darth Sensitive] Stolen from that site. There once was a man named Bertold Who drank beer when the weather grew cold As he reached for his cup… “NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!” Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled! [/QUOTE] That’s fucking fantastic!! Never gonna give, never gonna give!! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/38 "2008-03-05T17:43:27Z")
[QUOTE=Darth Sensitive] There once was a man named Bertold Who drank beer when the weather grew cold As he reached for his cup… “NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!” Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled! [/QUOTE] Bloody brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/39 "2008-03-05T17:52:05Z")
A young lady, born in Calcutta One day was heard to mutter It’s so bloody hot The sweat from my twot Is forming large pools in the gutter ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2008, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022/40 "2008-03-05T18:34:45Z")
There once were two cats from Kilkenny; Each thought there was one cat to many. So the fought and they fit And they scratched and they bit 'Til instead of two cats, there weren’t any! A flea and a fly in a flue Were caught, so what could they do? Said the flea, “Let us fly!” “Let us flee!” said the fly. So they flew through a flaw in the flue. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-limericks/437022.md?page=1)