# Like Qadgop's bagel-dog penis guy only orders of magnitude more and \*happy\* about it.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 16, 2006, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920 "2006-04-16T23:36:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2006, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/1 "2006-04-16T23:36:49Z")
The URL at the bottom of this post is IN NO WAY SAFE FOR WORK.
Behold, a fellow who mutilated his junk the way that unfortunate inmate’s hopped-up back-alley “enlarger” mangled his (with silicone injections) only he did it with full knowledge of what he was in for, and obviously couldn’t be more pleased with the result. He kept going back for more and more.
Just so there are no unpleasant surprises, the video in queston is a short clip from a [Channel 4 documentary misleadingly called _The Perfect Penis_](http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/P/penis_envy/). No punches pulled – the fellow takes his John Merrick, err, John _Thomas_ out straightaway and gets all in your face with it. Oh, and it looks to be about four kilos of sci-fi horror.
I’ve honestly never seen anything remotely like it, and fully expect recurring nightmares for the rest of my life, which I now hope to share with any of you who can’t resist copying the URL and pasting it into your browser’s address bar:
[http://www.flurl.com/item/De\_Perfecte\_Penis\_u\_106153/](http://www.flurl.com/item/De_Perfecte_Penis_u_106153/)
---
### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/2 "2006-04-16T23:46:20Z")
Are those his nuts in the lower section, or has his Johnson become bicameral? In any case, that is just…wrong.
---
### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2006, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/3 "2006-04-16T23:52:39Z")
I’ve seen a lot of stuff on the web but…
I’m speechless. I lack speech.
You win the internets Mr. Mudd.
---
### Author:  [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2006, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/4 "2006-04-16T23:53:41Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#):
>
> I’ve honestly never seen anything remotely like it
Ditto. And I hope I never do again.
---
### Author:  [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/5 "2006-04-16T23:54:40Z")
I´m trying to work the use of euthanasia into this, give me a hand here, would ya?
---
### Author:  [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)
#### Post date: [April 16, 2006, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/6 "2006-04-16T23:57:13Z")
Oh my God.
What the fuck.
Barbecue.
That is all.
---
### Author:  [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/7 "2006-04-17T00:08:07Z")
Oh.
My.
FUCKING.
Og!
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
I scared the shit outta my poor SO when that THING came flooping out of his jeans–I literally screamed, the cat went flying, SO came running in thinking I’d caught a stray arrow or something–all I could do was point at the screen in banjaxed horror and narrowly avoided vomiting on my keyboard. Jesus motherfucking Christ sliding down a razor blade stair banister, I hope I never see anything so horrendous again in my life. I’ve seen pictures of guys with elephantiasis of the junk before, but that’s a disease–this insane cock knocker did it to himself and he’s PROUD of that disgusting mass of distended plastic masquerading as the remains of a penis.
And just to make it all more lovely my SO informs me he’s seen pictures of women who are into a similar type of self deformation–I guess looking like a mandrill baboon in heat is all the rage in certain circles…
Pardon me while I go off and console my normal sized and shaped girly bits and reassure them that no such thing will ever occur to them while I still draw breath…
PLEASE, CAN WE GET THAT PUKING SMILEY NOW?
---
### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/8 "2006-04-17T00:10:30Z")
HOLY SHIT!
For the love of god, WHY? There are men in this world who have genitalia like that as a result of tumors or whatever, and would probably give anything to have a well, relatively NORMAL member. Why is this guy doing it on PURPOSE? He can’t have sex, obviously, and as he said, trying to pee with that is a hassle.
And where did he find a doctor willing to do this?
---
### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/9 "2006-04-17T00:14:36Z")
So… what happens to “The Blob” if he doesn’t do anything else to it & stops injecting silicone into it. Does it stay that size forever & ever or shrink back down over time?
---
### Author:  [@Stentor\_2.5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stentor_2.5)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/10 "2006-04-17T00:22:03Z")
Would it have been that difficult to challenge peoples idea of what a big toe should look like instead?
---
### Author:  [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/11 "2006-04-17T00:22:29Z")
Wow, suddenly, [sub-incision](http://www.seigle.net/extraclick.php?u=http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&complete=1&hl=en&safe=off&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=1&ct=result&cd=1&q=subincision&spell=1) seems normal.
CMC fnord!
---
### Author:  [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/12 "2006-04-17T00:39:33Z")
He must have a hell of a time finding shorts.
---
### Author:  [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/13 "2006-04-17T01:05:09Z")
I´m wondering if he could be arrested at customs offices for silicone smuggling?
---
### Author:  [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/14 "2006-04-17T01:38:59Z")
I seen guys in San Francisco do that to themselves by injecting saline. The results can be somewhat similar, but everything returns to normal once your body reabsorbs the saline.
Why someone would do that permanently is beyond me. Did he ever explain? I can’t get the video to play past his “sometimes I see a guy and I wanna fuck him, but it isn’t gonna happen.”
---
### Author:  [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/15 "2006-04-17T01:44:05Z")
I know better than to look at links like that but I did it anyway. O. M. G.
Why?
So much for a sex life.
---
### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/16 "2006-04-17T01:44:46Z")
Ha. That’s disgusting. I don’t know why he’d wanna do it, but he’s happy about it. He likes talking about it, obviously. He’s fighting a smile back the entire time.
He likes having people talking about his penis, end of story. I bet he started off like a light switch.
---
### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/17 "2006-04-17T01:45:04Z")
> [@levdrakon](#):
>
> Why someone would do that permanently is beyond me. Did he ever explain? I can’t get the video to play past his “sometimes I see a guy and I wanna fuck him, but it isn’t gonna happen.”
He said something about how this brings him more pleasure than that fifteen minutes or so of fucking would. Lord knows HOW.
Also, if his junk is so big that it hits the water in the toilet when he pees, so he has to squat (because he can’t stand-it goes everywhere), then how the hell does he take a shit?
---
### Author:  [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/18 "2006-04-17T02:26:05Z")
Aaaaah!
Just…
Ack!
---
### Author:  [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/19 "2006-04-17T02:26:10Z")
A friend of mine posted this link in her LJ with the notation:
"This man’s junk looks like a canned ham. "
I agree. And that is one of the most fucked-up things I’ve ever seen.
---
### Author:  [@roshia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roshia)
#### Post date: [April 17, 2006, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/20 "2006-04-17T02:47:28Z")
Damn. The movie won’t load for me, and I want to be horrified! If some nice wondeful person would be kind enough to take a screenshot of the hideous canned ham peener, I would love (er, or hate, possibly) that person forever.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920.md?page=2)