# Like Qadgop's bagel-dog penis guy only orders of magnitude more and \*happy\* about it. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2006, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920 "2006-04-16T23:36:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/41 "2006-04-17T10:39:15Z")
Actually, I found the clip educational. I’ve always wondered about what sort of pants these lunatics need to wear, and apparently you CAN stuff an over-sized bagel-dog penis with bowling-ball scrotum into a pair of jeans. I’m still going “WTF?” Does this rate an honorable mention in the Darwin Awards? Seeing that reproduction is pretty much impossible for this guy now… Paging **Qadgop the Mercotan** - how does this compare to your patient? Inquiring (and sick) minds want to know! This guy is clearly in it for the attention, at least in part. > [@LunaV](#): > > He must have a hell of a time finding shorts. I realize the video had many distracting aspects, but I did note he was not wearing underwear, if that’s the sort of shorts you were refering to. Short pants… you know, I don’t think this guy would care if he hung out. > [@levdrakon](#): > > Why someone would do that permanently is beyond me. Did he ever explain? I can’t get the video to play past his “sometimes I see a guy and I wanna fuck him, but it isn’t gonna happen.” There was something in there about “challenging people’s idea of a what a penis is” and something about “adventure” but it was hard to hear over all the gagging and whimpering noises my husband was making in the background. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > Also, if his junk is so big that it hits the water in the toilet when he pees, so he has to squat (because he can’t stand-it goes everywhere), then how the hell does he take a shit? Last I heard, a man does not shit through his penis. At least, no man I’ve ever known does. I presume the person in question would sit normally on the toilet seat while cradling “The Blob” in his lap and petting it. Sort of like he was petting it in the video when he first pulled it out of his pants. Thank you (not), Guinastia, for coming up with a hypothetical body-mod that allows a man to defecate through his penis. Now _that’s_ one I _really_ do not want to see! > [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > "This man’s junk looks like a canned ham. " It does! It looks _remarkably_ like a canned ham! And sort of wobbles like Spam™! > [@SmartAleq](#): > > It’s a big, useless appendage attached to a stupid, useless idiot. Best description so far. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > What this guy did to his penis is basically like what Michael Jackson did to his face. I’d say it’s more like what LoLo Ferrari did to her tits… but yeah, same degree of bizarro wackiness. Except I find Michale Jackson’s face scarier, probably because it’s actively rotting off. The Blob at least looks like its alive. Hideously deformed and inhuman, but alive. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > And where did he find a doctor willing to do this? Why do you assume a doctor is involved? You could do that with a caulking gun and a gallon or two of aquarium sealant… NOT that I am seriously saying anyone should do anything of the sort. One of these freaks is enough. Although actually I have seen similar things before, although not to the same magnitude. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/42 "2006-04-17T11:03:24Z")
Oh. My. Freaking. Lord. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/43 "2006-04-17T11:08:07Z")
Paging **Casement Window** … Prayer on aisle three!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/44 "2006-04-17T11:28:12Z")
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] Paging **Casement Window** … Prayer on aisle three!! 😃 [/QUOTE] Nup. He’s gone … ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/45 "2006-04-17T13:28:16Z")
That is…it’s…it’s… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/46 "2006-04-17T15:37:42Z")
[QUOTE=Broomstick] You could do that with a caulking gun and a gallon or two of aquarium sealant [/QUOTE] Apropos of nothing, [this](http://www.homedepot.com/prel80/HDUS/EN_US/diy_main/pg_diy.jsp?CNTTYPE=PROD_META&CNTKEY=SuperFeatures2%2fPower_Tools%2fPM_Ultimate_Power_Deal&BV_SessionID=@@@@0094521850.1145288196@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccgaddhifjghjdcgelceffdfgidgio.0&MID=9876) is prominently featured on Home Depot’s website. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/47 "2006-04-17T15:56:23Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Apropos of nothing, [this](http://www.homedepot.com/prel80/HDUS/EN_US/diy_main/pg_diy.jsp?CNTTYPE=PROD_META&CNTKEY=SuperFeatures2%2fPower_Tools%2fPM_Ultimate_Power_Deal&BV_SessionID=@@@@0094521850.1145288196@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccgaddhifjghjdcgelceffdfgidgio.0&MID=9876) is prominently featured on Home Depot’s website. [/QUOTE] The only work that “tool” is capable of doing is acting as a doorstop. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/48 "2006-04-17T15:56:42Z")
[QUOTE=Broomstick] Last I heard, a man does not shit through his penis. At least, no man I’ve ever known does. I presume the person in question would sit normally on the toilet seat while cradling “The Blob” in his lap and petting it. Sort of like he was petting it in the video when he first pulled it out of his pants. Thank you (not), Guinastia, for coming up with a hypothetical body-mod that allows a man to defecate through his penis. Now _that’s_ one I _really_ do not want to see! [/QUOTE] Well hell, I don’t know, I’m not a man and I don’t have a penis so I don’t know how he’d take a shit! 😛 You know, I think this is one guy who would benefit from the super extra baggy pants all the loser trendy teenage guys are wearing. A _caulking gun_? AAAAHHHHH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/49 "2006-04-17T16:06:47Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared to follow a link from the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/50 "2006-04-17T16:14:41Z")
Ha! The hotel 'puter can’t view that. I’m so glad. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/51 "2006-04-17T17:02:16Z")
Great steaming holy green crap on a stick! :eek: Heh. Google is advertising “vacuum pumps” and, as far as I can tell, industrial-strength ones. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/52 "2006-04-17T17:49:46Z")
What Bagel Dog Dick needs in a life partner is some sort of cross between [Goatse](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatse) and [Jocelyn Wildenstein](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jocelyn_Wildenstein). May Og strike me dead if anyone actually decides to _become_ such an abomination. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/53 "2006-04-17T18:01:15Z")
[QUOTE=Broomstick] I realize the video had many distracting aspects, but I did note he was not wearing underwear, if that’s the sort of shorts you were refering to. [/QUOTE] Yeah, actually he was: they’re visible, plus right after he pulls out The Blob he points to a line across it and says that it’s a mark from his underwear. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/54 "2006-04-17T18:13:07Z")
Even though I can’t view that at work right now (lord knows I tried), I feel like I’ve seen the whole thing. Thanks Guys!! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/55 "2006-04-17T18:15:15Z")
Can someone point me to this bagel/dog/thing everyone is comparing this to? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/56 "2006-04-17T18:29:29Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] Can someone point me to this bagel/dog/thing everyone is comparing this to? [/QUOTE] [My patient’s bizarre penis](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=273825&highlight=qadgop+bagel) ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/57 "2006-04-18T00:16:32Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] What Bagel Dog Dick needs in a life partner is some sort of cross between [Goatse](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatse) and [Jocelyn Wildenstein](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jocelyn_Wildenstein). [/QUOTE] You know, I was thinking that Goatse and this guy would be an (un)natural pairing… ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/58 "2006-04-18T00:37:31Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] What Bagel Dog Dick needs in a life partner is some sort of cross between [Goatse](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatse) and [Jocelyn Wildenstein](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jocelyn_Wildenstein). May Og strike me dead if anyone actually decides to _become_ such an abomination. [/QUOTE] Ggg…ggg…Gggg…gaaaaahhh!!! :eek: By the end of the second paragraph my brain simply decided to pull the ejection handle and has punched a hole thorugh the ceiling, by now it must be hanging from a parachute somewhere down the road. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/59 "2006-04-18T00:43:30Z")
[QUOTE=Broomstick] Paging **Qadgop the Mercotan** - how does this compare to your patient? Inquiring (and sick) minds want to know! [/QUOTE] My patient wasn’t even close. My patient was stupid but sane, and recognized that what he had was _not a nice thing_. The link in my original thread (Thanks for providing that, **silenus**!) died, but here’s a bageldog that pretty much shows what my patient’s proportions were. His scrotum was normal. > **[Tastes of Health - Delicious Food & Healthy Lifestyle](https://www.tastesofhealth.eu/)** > > More and more people would like to have a balanced lifestyle. They want to stay healthy and active, but still want to enjoy themselves in various aspects of their lives. And this is what Tastes of Health is all about: a balance between delicious food... ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920/60 "2006-04-18T01:14:26Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Waitaminnit. That was his _penis_, not his bag? :eek: [/QUOTE] Yeah. You see the part on top that looks like a dangling, prolapsed rectum? That used to be a penis. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/like-qadgops-bagel-dog-penis-guy-only-orders-of-magnitude-more-and-happy-about-it/352920.md?page=4)