# Limericks 3 -- For Spiderwoman **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335 "2000-10-02T13:52:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/61 "2000-10-22T21:55:07Z")
The Vikings are seven and zero; Gary Anderson is my new hero. And with firmly planted Moss to receive an endzone toss, they won so let’s hear a big cheer-o!\* -----😛 —////\\ [\*Sorry, not a lot of rhymes for zero.] ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2000, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/62 "2000-10-22T22:04:43Z")
Southern’s eloquent posting Style touches me or makes me smile. May this limerick thread keep on moving ahead and I hope Styler stays for the while. -----🙂 x x x [blows kisses] —////\\ ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/63 "2000-10-23T14:40:20Z")
The Vikings are top of the heap, St. Louis they passed in a leap, Perfection is keen, here’s advice for Green, Just keep sending Randy Moss deep. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/64 "2000-10-23T15:58:53Z")
Southern, that seasonal piece has me seeing Norman Rockwell… There once was a football fan, sili Whose cheered for a team less than thrilly They two and six And ad to the mix They got beat by their former coach, really ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/65 "2000-10-23T16:00:46Z")
Sorry 'bout that last one, it should read: There once was a football fan, sili Who cheered for a team less than thrilly They went two and six And to add to the mix They got beat by their former coach, really ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/66 "2000-10-23T20:30:47Z")
There once was a fan we’ll call **Sili** , Who’s team’s adornments were “frilly”, He was a true fan, and endured like a man, He was no ordinary “Hill Billy”! ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/67 "2000-10-24T20:38:45Z")
It’s nearly one day in the past, Since the last contributions amassed, I plainly can see, that it’s now up to me, This poster’s redundantly last. (Get with it Dopers!) So let’s see what I have in mind, To stray from the same old rhyme grind, I’ll post of the seasons, and publish my reasons, oh wait, I’m a little behind. (Been there, Done that!) The seasons are out as a topic, And I’m not inspired toward gothic, To make the most sense, and not add pretense, Let’s pose a question of logic. They entered the ark two by two, I wonder if birds walked or flew? It could make a difference, with landing a hinderence, As rabbits compound and accrue. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/68 "2000-10-24T21:00:00Z")
Some came by claw, feathers or hoof and the birds may have clung to the roof. During that raging storm lion and lamb kept each other warm [but from polecats they all stayed aloof]. ----:p/----:D/ ----///\----///\ [Noah’s spiders] ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/69 "2000-10-24T21:02:45Z")
As the animals rushed for the boat, did the odds grow ever remote that when filled to the gills with fur, feathers and quills - the ark would continue to float? I was trying to think of another along the same lines, but it’s time to go home… ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/70 "2000-10-24T23:50:19Z")
When Noah was on the ark The storm raging round was dark. He tried to send out an elephant, But the hephalump said you can’t, On this boat of yours, my ass I’ll park! ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/71 "2000-10-24T23:53:12Z")
Mark says I need to explain that one… I have a brilliant cartoon somewhere of Noah & his three sons desperately trying to push this elephant overboard, and one of the sons is saying “Dad, why don’t we send a dove instead?” ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/72 "2000-10-25T18:43:24Z")
(too much prose really slows down the thread!!!) As Noah stood on the foredeck, And with each pair marked a new check, When passed the giraffe, he said with a laugh, “My gosh what a pain in the neck!” ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/73 "2000-10-25T19:03:36Z")
While two by two by him they pace, Noah for each pair must find a place. “We’ll flutterby,” said the moths. “We’ll hang out,” said the sloths. Mooed the oxen “We’ll stand in our trace.” “We’ll perch on the roof,” cooed the pigeons. “Same for us,” clucked the rooster and hen. And the spiders from threads dangled from overhead of the pigs and the sheep in their pen. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/74 "2000-10-25T19:58:36Z")
The critters came aboard, big and small, with a slither, a trot and a crawl. They crowded into place under Noah’s watchful gaze as torrential, the rains, they did fall. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/75 "2000-10-26T13:37:20Z")
And who can forget the big rain? It started by flooding the plain, I’m not that naive, so I don’t believe, That the worst was mainly in Spain! As the ark was bouncin’ and bobbin’, Glad voice encouraged those sobbin’, “Don’t be so sad, it’s not all that bad”, Was sung by a bat, a man, and a robin. :: Slaps self :: ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/76 "2000-10-30T12:56:28Z")
I have to admit (to my shame) that I didn’t watch the Vikings’ game. But on Sunday Purple Pride took quite a landslide and now no teams have perfect record fame. -----😕 —////\\ ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/77 "2000-10-30T13:08:47Z")
It drizzled and rained and it poured. All the ark dwellers could have been bored, but Brer Rabbit told stories of animal glories to that furry, slimy, feathery hoard. Well the ark, it was thrown, bounced, and tossed. But Noah knew all was not lost. A new world would arise when the sun lit the skies but the old one was lost at great cost. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/78 "2000-10-30T15:35:37Z")
As Sunday I was forced to work, To the net I’d occasionally lurk, Who would’a thunk, that the Vikes would’a stunk, up the field, while I went berserk? Hey **Spider** I’m glad you’ve arrived, And lent your limericks contrived, We all took a break, like the Vikes, (big mistake!) This thread perhaps has survived! ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/79 "2000-10-30T23:01:34Z")
When the Arc was about to set sail From the Galley came a big whale It seems that the chef (Who was quite dumb and deaf) Was about to start cooking the snails! It seems he was hired in a hurry About references no one did worry Now they all tried explaining But then it started raining To that cook things were all sorta blurry So he went for the chickens and goats And the sheep all ran for the life boats From that crazy old chef There was havoc right and left And even the pigs learned to float As the buffalo ran for the aft The two roosters they fought for the raft And the turkeys and ducks Turned to pure fisticuffs This would bring on corruption and graft When they finally settled him down And and explained (what they should have in town) He learned to cook roots And practice Kashrut So the animals might reach solid ground ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/80 "2000-11-02T20:42:09Z")
The waters receded and then the sun came out smiling again. Soon they would stand upon dry and green land, all the animals, women and men. All of them then would disperse to the far corners of the earth. To the meadows and mountains, plains, tundra and fountains each to its niche, cranny, or berth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335.md?page=5)