# Limericks 3 -- For Spiderwoman **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335 "2000-10-02T13:52:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/81 "2000-11-02T21:47:08Z")
While comatose on the front lawn, I lay motionless until dawn, Those last seven drinks, were the problem methinks, As I ponder to throw up or yawn. Could someone please enlighten me, And help me to more plainly see, Why drinking in mass, from a bottle or glass, Is requisite for one’s degree? The parchment does clear confer, A title, sometimes it’s “Doctor”, But the pamphlet prolog, and course catalog, make no mention at all of liquor. I guess it’s just one of those things, Like women and large diamond rings, They go hand in hand, and cause to expand, Your head and its awful swellings. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/82 "2000-11-02T23:25:30Z")
Your question kicked up a stink, But I have the solution, I think. You’re told when packed off to college That it is the fountain of knowledge To which students go to drink… ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/83 "2000-11-02T23:28:38Z")
There once was a medical student Who often thought it would be prudent To drink before class and plaster his ass Else, he’s afraid, graduate he wouldn’t ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/84 "2000-11-03T15:36:48Z")
Ah, drinking in college was fun. But those binge drinking days are all done. The brain cells I lack, How I wish they were back. For it turns out I need every one. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/85 "2000-11-03T20:27:19Z")
I spent most of my college days, In a booze induced self imposed haze, I thought a small drink, would help me to think, But it just made the campus a maze. I almost remember the time, We drank until way past bedtime, Instead of sound sleep, I wound up in a heap, The outcome was surely not prime! Alas I have mellowed with age, So that fun I no longer guage, By how many drinks, before my head sinks, Into that white porcelain cage. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/86 "2000-11-07T20:28:39Z")
But I’d be able to take it and grin if my favorite candidates win. I voted for Gore and Democratics galore and if I could, I’d do it again! Any of you who don’t like my choice; remember you have your own voice! So get out and vote! Don’t miss the boat! Don’t complain, make a statement, not noise!\* [ouch] ----:p/ ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/87 "2000-11-07T21:20:18Z")
I voted today before work. My duty I’m not one to shirk. But I stopped here to say “Woo-hoo!” for Green Bay! I won’t gloat, lest you think I’m a jerk. But my Pack’s had a rough time this year So don’t blame me if I stop and cheer. Lady fortune did smile On my team for a while! The ball bounced in a way that was queer. O’er this season at times I have wept. No Super Bowl hopes have I kept. But at least on this day I can comfortably say By the Vikings they will not get swept. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/88 "2000-11-07T21:44:12Z")
This Tuesday is part of a plan, Where everyone does what he can, By giving one’s vote, the citizens note, That the best is the Republican. I did what I must with my X, Al Gore I am hoping to vex, His claims are suspect, warranting no respect, Please pass him a box of kleenex. So now that you know I endorse, G. Bush, the GOP’s horse, 'Cause pay is a perk, for which I must work, And there’s not unlimited source. * * * And so fellow Americans, I remind you to vote. Go to the polls and vote for the Republican of your choice, but VOTE! ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/89 "2000-11-07T21:47:39Z")
No hard feelings from me, Smoky Guy. Though the Vikings lost, they did try. The Pack wasn’t slack but they are not yet back to their glory days that have gone by. And though you are eloquently waxing rhyming to my brain is taxing. Tonight’s sports attraction is political action. I’ll watch but I won’t be relaxing. ----:eek:/ ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/90 "2000-11-07T22:30:14Z")
Tonight’s coverage I think I will shun I’ll find out in the morning who won. For I’d rather slouch As I sit on my couch And play football on my Playstation. The coverage I find quite a joke, For it’s drama they try to evoke. But with 5 percent in, They predict who will win. And who in the race will have choked. So the paper I will read tomorrow To see if I have joy or sorrow. Will it be Bush or Gore? And how will Ralph score? (Buchanan scares me to my marrow). ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/91 "2000-11-14T02:40:27Z")
The Purple People are back after losses to Tampa and the Pack. Now the red birds are blue and the Vikings 8-2; for winning they have quite the knack. ----:)/ ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/92 "2000-11-14T15:23:13Z")
There is sorrow in cheese land this day For the Packers let one slip away. They were leading the Bucs When a bit of bad luck Helped them fumble the victory away. But the worst thing to come from the game Is that our QB came out lame. His foot almost snapped When tackled by Sapp. Without Favre, the Pack won’t be the same. His streak of game starts is now done. Eight seasons, he played in each one. He started one-thirty-five In a row. Sakes alive! That’s sure one tough son of a gun. So the Pack now prepares for next week, Without Favre and his ironman streak. But I say, what the heck! We’ve got Matt Hasselbeck! He’s no Favre, but at least he don’t reek. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/93 "2000-11-14T16:55:47Z")
Unbelievable as it may seem I can also say ‘yeah!’ for my team They tightened their briefs And took care of the Chiefs 'Cause Garcia can run with some steam Politics, Politics, Politics ‘Let the will of the people be done!’ Said Al Gore, as he realized Bush won Now they’ll recount the votes And they’ll sue to promote Just the outcome the Dems had bet on! Now if Gore was ahead by a bit They would certainly agree to quit And then the people’s will Would be counted, but still Just the ones that the Dems count for shit ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/94 "2000-11-21T03:08:09Z")
While the Panthers slink back to their lair the Vikings have won with a flair. That Smith guy forged ahead and in scoring he led by rushing, and some in the air. On Thursday the Vikes play the Cowboys, a treat Minnesota fans will enjoy. This turkey day serving may prove quite unnerving to Aikman and Dallas’s poise.\* [\*sorry, out of practice] ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2001, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335/95 "2001-06-13T11:31:36Z")
Long after the Vikes slunk away the Twins have come out to play! and like past seasons glorious they could be victorious and have a World Series heyday! Though baseball’s not my favorite game I thought I would post just the same. though my poetry’s bad this thread’s loss would be sad (limericks are my only claim to fame). ----:p/ ----///\\ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-3-for-spiderwoman/35335.md?page=4)