# Limericks anyone? (NSFW) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 18, 2009, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408 "2009-07-18T03:40:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/41 "2009-07-21T15:15:34Z")
There once was a poet from Xiangling, China, whose hobby was mangling poems. He’d drop words betwixt lines and lop their ends off and leave readers ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/42 "2009-07-21T15:24:52Z")
Very good, **Colophon**! ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/43 "2009-07-21T15:58:56Z")
Oh Lord for as much as without thee We have not the power to doubt thee Help us all in thy grace To convince the whole race It knows nothing whatever about thee. Sorry it’s not dirty. That’s so unlike me. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/44 "2009-07-21T16:19:19Z")
There was a young fellow from Gotham Who took out his bollocks to wash 'em His wife said, Jack Please put 'em back Before I tread on the buggers and squash 'em ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/45 "2009-07-21T17:17:06Z")
> [@Oy](#): > > Very good, **Colophon**! Though I’d love to accept your applause One should only take pride in what’s yours For the truth, if I’m picky - I borrowed from [Wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Limerick_(poetry)#More_Anti_Lyrics)\* \*Complying with copyright laws ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/46 "2009-07-21T21:42:08Z")
Oh, very clever! ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/47 "2009-07-21T21:44:01Z")
It reminds me of one I wrote: It’s the greatest deal you ever saw! Without any problem or flaw! We’re so nice and kind, So just sign on the line.\* \*Void where prohibited by law. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/48 "2009-07-22T01:00:30Z")
> [@Al\_B.Itt](#): > > There once was a man from Nantucket > Whose tool was so long he could suck it. > He said with a grin > As he wiped off his chin, > “If my ear were more near, I would fuck it.” There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, “If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it!” ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/49 "2009-07-22T06:46:55Z")
Let’s try something different. I’ll post the first line of a limerick and someone can complete it. When they’ve done that it’s their turn to post a first line…and so on. * * * A buxom young wench name of Mary ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/50 "2009-07-22T12:35:49Z")
A buxom young wench name of Mary Had a face that looked kind of scary. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/51 "2009-07-22T13:16:59Z")
A buxom young wench name of Mary Had a face that really quite hairy. But with her one man Did all that one can; He’d a taste for the extraordinary. ( **Chowder** said to complete the limerick, not to add a single line) My first line: Everyone everywhere knows ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/52 "2009-07-22T13:25:08Z")
Good idea, **chowder** - but you didn’t post a first line! I can’t think of anything to follow **Dragwyr** so I’ll interrupt with one that hasn’t been mentioned yet. There was a young man from Japan Whose limericks never would scan “I think” he would cry “It’s because I try To fit as many words into the very last line as I absolutely possibly can” ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/53 "2009-07-22T14:14:57Z")
[quote=“Oy, post:51, topic:503408”] A buxom young wench name of Mary Everyone everywhere knows Nudists seldom wear clothes - I really meant just add one line and leave it for the next poster ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/54 "2009-07-22T17:53:23Z")
Everyone everywhere knows Nudists seldom wear clothes And thus, in the cold ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/55 "2009-07-22T19:05:18Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > Everyone everywhere knows > Nudists seldom wear clothes > And thus, in the cold Everyone everywhere knows Nudists seldom wear clothes And thus, in the cold It’s a sight to behold ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/56 "2009-07-22T22:58:40Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Everyone everywhere knows > Nudists seldom wear clothes > And thus, in the cold > It’s a sight to behold Toes (uncovered by hose) that all froze! A lovely young lass named Annie ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2009, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408/57 "2009-07-23T07:02:47Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > A lovely young lass named Annie * * * A lovely young lass named Annie Had a most delightful fanny [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-anyone-nsfw/503408.md?page=2)