# Limericks, cont'd **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2000, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214 "2000-09-06T12:10:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/201 "2000-09-28T15:05:32Z")
Thanks, Smoky: Though having no kids of my own I know the woe you bemoan, I’m the oldest of three who’d fight mercilessly, which caused our poor parents to groan. And once they tried to mix a business trip with a vacation… I remember a short trip to Maine: for my parents, 'twas really a strain, my Pa had a meeting but with three kids a-bleating it’s a wonder he didn’t go insane! ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/202 "2000-09-28T15:25:03Z")
Speaking of vacations… There was a vacationing Nun Who intended on getting some sun But she soon killed the rabbit 'Cause removing her habbit Made her all inhibitions to shun There once were some students from College Who went on Spring Break, and acknowledged That Vodka and Gyn Could lead to some sin: Hotel trashing and Cardinal Knowledge ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/203 "2000-09-28T15:33:10Z")
I remember those car trips so slow And my parents with four kids in tow. Every year they adored To drive the old Ford Out to Grandma’s in Col-o-ra-do. But for me this whole trip was just crap To this day I can’t look at the map. And I’ll tell you why. For car sick was I And I’d usually throw up in my lap. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/204 "2000-09-28T15:36:11Z")
The Bottle has three times the fun But I have vacationed with one And found it a test For he always could best Any effort of me or his mom There once was a warm sandy beach A vacation spot that we did reach Relaxed, tanned and swam Had some Mexican ham Now the virtues of Cabo I preach NYC is THE Party vacation From coast to coast of our Nation If music and food Puts you in the mood You just can’t resist the temptation! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/205 "2000-09-28T15:40:00Z")
Before I came there were 4 pages of lim’rix ditties and ages all diff’rent and lovely in their own quite bubbly, but since I came the poets’re in their cages. So maybe I should take this clue that I stink at this and that “Boo! BOO!” cry the Cecilians when they hear all the billions of rhymes I should flush down the loo. ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/206 "2000-09-28T16:50:10Z")
Hmmm. I’m running out of ideas, so it’s back to the traditional slightly bawdy. A young window cleaner named Sue Liked to work in a halter of blue. One day a strong gust Blew her top off her bust And the folks inside got a great view. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/207 "2000-09-28T17:48:05Z")
There is a young maiden so fine I’ll tell you 'bout her, you don’t mind? She’s beautiful, smart Owns the key to my heart, Please welcome her [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=40186) here, please be kind! This girl is alone in her class I knew it before one day passed That we would be two The reason I knew Is I couldn’t take my eyes of her…smile (gotcha, didn’t I? 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/208 "2000-09-28T19:28:20Z")
Vacation for **Bottle** seems basic, And facilitates pasttimes orgasmic, The kids that you bred, simply take by the head, And rotate them left past the first click. (Didn’t know they had an off switch, huh?) ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/209 "2000-09-28T20:10:16Z")
I’d love planning my favorite vacation of fun, food, sight-seeing, libations, for those who would roam and (please!) leave me at home for weeks of rest and relaxation. While the tourists buy cute souvenirs and take time off from their careers with cats, music and books you’ll find me in some nook catching up on seclusion arrears. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/210 "2000-09-28T20:31:54Z")
**Spider’s** surely not slave to her fears, At danger she laughs and she jeers, But she should instead, tip-toe through this thread, By avoiding such words as “arrears”. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/211 "2000-09-28T23:54:52Z")
Spider’s sorry to have stepped on some toes. She has plenty herself of those, for on each spider foot she has eight toes to boot. (Cyber Spiders themselves can compose.) -----☹ —////\\ ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/212 "2000-09-29T19:49:35Z")
Oh **Spider** , your rhyme was just fine, With a story that shows grand design, The use of “arrears”, nearly brought me to tears, A double entendre design? The weekend is just labor’s bonus, Reward for much time at the office, To try and ensure, that you will endure, Make safety your number one onus, ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/213 "2000-09-29T20:07:09Z")
We go on a lot of road trips, and my son and I put this one together: An old man took a dead armadillo from the road, to cook it on his grill-oh! The stench of burning decay drove his neighbors away, Till he’d cleaned up his mess with a Brillo! (This limerick insanity runs in families!) ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/214 "2000-09-29T20:22:22Z")
Just 45 minutes remain 'til another week goes down the drain. I don’t have a date, so I won’t stay out late, being single on Friday’s a pain! ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/215 "2000-09-29T20:48:09Z")
Poor **vix** is in need of a date, A status to which I relate, But it gives you more time, to post as a rhyme, As long as you’re staying up late. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/216 "2000-09-29T22:33:37Z")
If advice comes from **Southern** , it’s sage Just fill up with your rhymes a new page And then one day, who knows If your peotry flows You’ll perform it for us on a stage There once was a talented Scribe Who with verse all his lovers could bribe With sweet poems lured them in Took them round for a spin Then the limerick he’d use as a jibe ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/217 "2000-09-30T00:09:58Z")
A sleepy owl swiveled his head, hooting “Whoooo has roused me from my bed?” From the hole in this tree I can plainly see the sun beaming down on my head." A beaver battering at the bark at the base of the beech bellowed “Hark! If it’s sleep that you want, don’t stay here, take a jaunt to a quieter tree in the park.” “Dam Beaver!” was heard from the owl as he flappingly flew with a scowl. “Because of their dike I must aerially hike. This is foul treatment of this fine fowl.” Soon another tree the owl espied but the poor old tree seemed terrified. Owl said “I won’t harm you, no cause for alarm.” Tree said “I’n not scared; I’m petrified.” In the rockin’ tree now the owl keeps and from beavers he hears not a peep. On a tree hard as stone they’d wear teeth to the bone. So the owl deeply, peacefully sleeps. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/218 "2000-09-30T01:00:40Z")
For eons my rhyming begat, A style that is still a bit flat, I hunt and I peck, then I say, “what the heck”, It’s Friday, I’m off ot mIRC chat! ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/219 "2000-10-01T20:26:03Z")
The OP of some threads begins asking questions of vegetarians. “Why aren’t you like us?” “Why all of this fuss?” And debates start all over again. Those carnivores, omnivores and such, I think they doth protest too much. If meat you like munching and bones you like crunching then do, and my credos, don’t touch. -----😕 —////\\ ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2000, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/220 "2000-10-02T11:48:26Z")
This morning I jumped out of bed\* and clicked on this addicting thread. But I’m beginning to see it should move to Part III and soon we should post there instead. (Who wants to start the next one?) -----😕 —////\\ (\*damned alarm clock!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=12)