# Limericks, cont'd **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2000, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214 "2000-09-06T12:10:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/21 "2000-09-07T15:07:07Z")
My friend SouthernStyle may say That “tune out” is the best way But I say “Get involved” And the problems you’ll solve Will lead us to a better day. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/22 "2000-09-07T15:35:48Z")
The criterion for which I’d push, Would be “vote for the sexiest tush”, But menfolk can not, excite me a lot, So I’ll vote for the sexiest “Bush”. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/23 "2000-09-07T15:47:07Z")
Sorry I brought it up ☹ There once was a poster of poems Who wrote about Al, George, and moaned But the Hippie did mind This political rhyme So I’ll post on that subject no more There once was a tom cat named Boone Who liked to meaw at the moon On several occasions He received mass abbrasions When the neighbors did not like his tune There once was a Pastor from China Who preached to the quire to pray finer ‘You must not miss a day And each night you must pray’ So they answered him flat in D minor ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/24 "2000-09-07T15:47:49Z")
I’ve tried limmericks before and my talents won’t open the door my rhymes do please rythymless is a disease so I end up where I began, the floor ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/25 "2000-09-07T18:10:47Z")
My pal **Trade** has stopped by again, His posts stand quite tall among men, Though frequent he’s not, his posts add a lot, And get me to ask, “where ya been”? ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/26 "2000-09-07T18:18:58Z")
Get off of the floor, **Saint Zero** I’ll show you the way that is clear-o To make yourself merry, Get a rhyming dictionary And you’ll be a limerick hero! ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/27 "2000-09-07T18:27:46Z")
We last three have in common We all registered in May 2000 (I know it’s a stretch) Though I was here first, My post count’s the worst I am the slow posting shaman. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/28 "2000-09-07T18:35:12Z")
(Thanks, Chief. I couldn’t find the second rhyme to “zero”.) Your posting need not be prolific, As long as your rhyming specific, The meter may not, be terribly hot, To give it a shot is terrific. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/29 "2000-09-07T19:07:19Z")
Hey, with such praise I’ll not quit if I give it a try, anything will fit the meter,is it fixed? or can it be mixed? I guess practice makes perfect,not sh\*t. Couldn’t pass it up. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/30 "2000-09-07T19:14:33Z")
The Styler does compliment me To say we are pals I’ll agree But I do fear an error He made to my terror Saying I should post more frequently There once was a Limericking Chief That his posts were too few, his belief To that I will say You can fix it today By posting more limerick relief ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/31 "2000-09-07T19:38:23Z")
(limerick relief: LOL. Now the office is looking at me very strangely – wait a sec – they already do that…) Hey **Chief** , a little advice, To help your limericks look nice, Just take your rhyme, and put it to time, And throw in a sexual vice. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/32 "2000-09-07T19:55:29Z")
What a merry quartet you all make but may this truant spider partake? I’m giggling with glee at your posting spree. You guys are a stitch, no mistake. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/33 "2000-09-07T20:23:22Z")
Your posting is welcome and fine, Of course this opinion is mine, Would it not be kind, for me to remind, The quote that a “ **stitch** in time saves nine”? ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/34 "2000-09-07T20:35:22Z")
I’m a novice when it comes to this I doubt if my limmericks are bliss but I’m trying there is no denying that soon I’ll hit more than I miss ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/35 "2000-09-07T20:45:34Z")
Your postings are already quaint, Offerred SouthernStyle to the **Saint** , Your rhyming is swell, and you soon will tell, whether you are a “will” or an “aint”. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/36 "2000-09-07T21:56:30Z")
Style, Spider, Saint and now Chief On humor are none of you brief Some others here too Have added a few But where is the Hippie? Good Grief! There once was a techie named Bart In technical matters real smart But a loser on dates And finding new mates 'Cause he’d eat, drink, piss, barf and fart ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/37 "2000-09-08T06:41:26Z")
Where’s **Hippie**? The query is fine. I love that you like what is mine. But I truly believe From what I perceive That y’all’s lim’ricks are really divine. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/38 "2000-09-08T08:11:39Z")
A bluenosed old prude of St. Kitts Said, “When speaking of delicate bits, One must be discreet, And not use such street Slang as cock, cunt, arse, bollocks, and tits.” ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/39 "2000-09-08T14:20:56Z")
Spider’s limericks bawdiness lack because she does not have the knack of swearing with verve (and does not have the nerve) so others must take up the slack. If others want to try their hand at limericks, why, that would be grand! here is the [link](http://www.rhymer.com) so you won’t have to think I wish that I’d had it beforehand. [My favorite brother e-mailed me the link last night after I got the idea from Chief Wahoo’s post about a rhyming dictionary] ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/40 "2000-09-08T14:27:24Z")
What Spider and Chief have proposed Though helpful, they should be kept closed! Both link and thesourus Are like a cheat for us We should use our minds, heaven knows [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=3)