# Limericks, cont'd **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2000, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214 "2000-09-06T12:10:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/41 "2000-09-08T14:41:46Z")
Although I somewhat agree it may entice others to be amateur rhymers and in with us chimers to help us continue this spree. Until yesterday I had not known of this versing-help spot. But unless I am stuck I’ll trust to my luck and keep dreaming up my own plot. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/42 "2000-09-08T14:59:01Z")
Good gosh **Spider** , I never knew, That your limerick was not really true, You’ve shown us a link, that taints you with pink, And gives me a feeling of blue. But forgiveness is called for this day, For the **Spider** did most clearly say, That she didn’t know, or surfing did go, To the web page until yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/43 "2000-09-08T15:00:35Z")
Spider, you need no help. I know I do, but I still refuse to seek it… There once was a **Trade** rous bastard Of his own talents not a big master But he thought he would try A new format, oh my It turned out to be quite the disaster [Check it out here, be gentle](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37703) ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/44 "2000-09-08T15:27:05Z")
Sorry I’ve been long away But I had a terrible day With problems galore And many in store It’s enough to turn my hair gray. To make a limerick fun Always include a good pun To make it sublime Take the last line and use two rhymes instead of just one. (example) A voracious alligator Took a new job as a waiter But a hesitant matron Was his very first patron So rather than wait 'er he ate 'er. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/45 "2000-09-08T15:35:35Z")
To critique your rap I’ll not be snob, It’s long on wit and short on macabre, Though limerick it’s not, a rhythm it’s got, But please, don’t give up your day job. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/46 "2000-09-08T15:59:51Z")
morning brings a new day which means more time to play I’m back to the rhyme just in the nick of time to raise the thread, and be hero in a way practice makes perfect, I admit with these few lessons, I get the idea of limmericks and learn their tricks and how to make strange words fit. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/47 "2000-09-08T16:05:41Z")
There once was an alligator Who took a new job as a waiter His very first patron Was a hesitant matron So rather than wait 'er he ate 'er. ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/48 "2000-09-08T16:14:35Z")
Hi, I’m Tabithina, new mom. I’ve observed that y’all write with aplomb. I will try to keep versing, between diapers and nursing, and cleaning up messy drool-bombs. There once was a woman and fellow who would screw in a vat full of jello. They were happy and giggly until he grew quite jiggly, and they both would be sticky, but mellow. I have two dogs; fixed, when I bought 'em. Who once knew Nature’s rules, but forgot 'em. They hump and they bop with the female on top, and the poor, confused male on the bottom! There once was a man, who does now stick to his blow-up doll, airy and plastic, since his wife, feeling blue, filled its orifice with glue– Now, wasn’t that just a bit drastic? (See what you guys have done to me?? LMAO!! I did these w/o the rhyming dictionary, but thanks for the link… I think my brain’s tapped out now!) –Tabithina ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/49 "2000-09-08T16:19:17Z")
Oy Vey! Now do I have to be funny? Witty I am, but in jokes I’m a dummy laborously I think my humor does stink moldy oldy and dusty, like some mummy. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/50 "2000-09-08T16:25:14Z")
Welcome aboard, **Tabathina** Your wit is obviuosly keener Than many others That are also new mothers And dealing with poop that is green-a. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/51 "2000-09-08T16:33:37Z")
Again I sit here and type anew thinking vainly of limmericks to do this is getting harder perhaps I should raid my larder and as Paul Harvey would say, “Page Two” ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/52 "2000-09-08T16:38:20Z")
To Southern, thank thee for thy words My [rapping](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?action=newreply&threadid=37703) was so bad it hurt But you went easy on me And I do agree To quit my job would be absurd There once was a new mom with rhyme Who entered the thread with sublime Intentions to please My mind she did tease With humping and jello, how fine! There was a tailor of a Queen Who pandered to her self-esteem To tell her the truth About her long-lost youth Would mean he’d be split at the seams ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/53 "2000-09-08T16:48:55Z")
I am thinking that I must be daft, since this weekend there’s a show for my crafts. 'stead of making my jewelry, I’m enjoying this foolery, and I’m cutting my work-time in half! There once was a lady who had gone to purchase a dildo. On a good one Her attention did center, Till it gave her a splinter. One wouldn’t want a wood one, now would one? –Tabithina ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/54 "2000-09-08T18:46:54Z")
You know it cannot be good To pleasure one self with some wood If she’d ask hubby could he Come up with his woody I know that he would if he could (shit, that’s tooo iffy.) There once was a horny young lad So proud of the tools that he had To ladies, to sway them His tools he displayed them Got called lude and crude and a cad ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/55 "2000-09-08T19:29:01Z")
The SDMB had gone down Bringing to Spider a frown. Though the real world is sweet it just can’t compete with the SDMB of renown. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/56 "2000-09-08T19:47:29Z")
There once was a tenor stentorious who believed his own voice to be glorious though his prodigious singing left many ears ringing his vocalizing was just boring us. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/57 "2000-09-08T19:52:40Z")
Tabithina is caught in the claws of rhyme fever; it’s making her pause from other duties and pleasures but she’s showing her measure with meter and humor and clause. ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/58 "2000-09-08T19:54:45Z")
A farmer once fell fast asleep, out in the barn where he kept his sheep. Awoken rudely by a ram, who thought he was a “ma’am”, Strictly out of there now he will keep! –Tabithina ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/59 "2000-09-08T20:07:22Z")
tradesilicon has made an attempt from this limerick turf to pre-empt but he found as a rapper he wasn’t as dapper so back to the circus he limped. Though at rapping he’s just an apprentice he’s more of a masterful limericist. This thread he’s still lengthening and others are strenghthening the numbers of lyricists. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/60 "2000-09-08T21:06:53Z")
Thought the limerick is quite the art form I thought why not try and perform Something slightly less formal And I feel it’s quite normal That my first attempt bring me some scorn But as you say Spider, back to the limerick! There once was a Lady of Note Who sang, and she danced and she wrote But what gave her most pleasure And the thing that she treasured Was the old five-line-long anecdote [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=4)