# Limericks, cont'd **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2000, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214 "2000-09-06T12:10:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/81 "2000-09-12T20:55:35Z")
GolfWidow, very happy to have you. There once was a Golfer playing drunk Who hit mostly slices and dunks Whyle playing nine holes He killed two or three moles One squirrel, two ducks, and a skunk Welcome! ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/82 "2000-09-12T20:56:52Z")
To limericks **GolfWidow** is new, With her first, my mind nearly blew, Her reference to Kent, caused sudden torment, Cause this guy’s Christian name is “Kent” too! ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/83 "2000-09-13T16:43:23Z")
There once was a blaster named Mike Having trouble working with a dike For how could he not know That the dike would not blow? The suggestion was Mike, take a hike There once was a blushing youg Bride Who wore white with the greatest of pride But when push came to shove And the making of love She made the groom blush, run and hide ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/84 "2000-09-13T20:05:07Z")
The gory implications are huge, His e-mail we threaten to deluge, The **Hippie** did not, go to jail on the spot, A sympathy yielding subterfuge? So go on and head off to jail, The Judge has rescinded your bail, Why just 30 days, only four Mondays, Releases your ass from assail. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/85 "2000-09-13T20:07:09Z")
(Damn. Missed the punchline.) Should have read: Releases your **tail** from assail. ---
**Author:** ![FarrisGoldstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@FarrisGoldstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarrisGoldstein)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/86 "2000-09-13T21:31:03Z")
I’m sitting at work, lots to do, But instead writing prose and haiku. While the job stuff piles higher I pleasantly mire In limericks and other doodoo. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/87 "2000-09-13T21:45:09Z")
How fare-us, Mr. Goldstein? Are our efforts thus far not fine? Like a precious ore cup, your limerick helps fill up TN\*hippie’s request for more lines. That rhyme is my worst to date (though others may choose to debate). Although it is punny it’s not very funny; a definitely second-rate prate. ---
**Author:** ![FarrisGoldstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@FarrisGoldstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarrisGoldstein)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/88 "2000-09-13T21:55:59Z")
Mine’s never been to judge – One’s crap is another’s fudge. So pun away, Helps, anyway, To give such great threads a nudge. ---
**Author:** ![FarrisGoldstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@FarrisGoldstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarrisGoldstein)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2000, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/89 "2000-09-13T22:04:33Z")
I wrote this during a particularly boring meeting a long time ago in a high school mock trial team – E-mailed it to my English teacher in hope of extra credit: En route to some unknown locale, An anxious turd took leave of his pal. However, oblivious to the road he’d hit, He got stuck in a urinal, the stupid shit. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/90 "2000-09-14T04:33:57Z")
'Twas **GolfWidow** that I believed Sent an e-mail I never recieved But it’s the thought that counted Though all it amounted Was to a limerick vulgarly concieved. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/91 "2000-09-14T04:39:32Z")
Some might think it quite hokey But I was ready to go to the pokey. Though found guilty as sin, There was _no room at the inn_ So in two weeks I’ll turn myself in. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/92 "2000-09-14T04:47:51Z")
Now sodomy isn’t my thing: I’ve tried it and it just tends to sting. But I may cram my ass With acid or grass For my own sake and to be tops in my wing. ---
**Author:** ![FarrisGoldstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@FarrisGoldstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarrisGoldstein)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/93 "2000-09-14T08:26:53Z")
Surfed in one day while at work ‘Cuz Cecil’s got class, wit and quirk. Thought, “Hey, this is cool! Message board - sans the fools!” Aye, but one big fuckin’ jerk. I’ll miss ya all… ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/94 "2000-09-14T12:51:02Z")
Well, now that I know the straight [dope](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=38442), that your leave will be short, we can hope. Although just a beginner at limericks you’re a winner so return soon to this thread and don’t mope. Although with tongue in cheek Coldfire’s a boaster he seems mostly to be a good poster. Though his comments may chafe: mooning and driving isn’t safe. It could cause you (and others) to be ghosters. When you’re feeling better, come back. I hope then you’ll be on the right track, and your hair will still be there and you will be aware of the peace in your heart you now lack. -----🙂 —////\\ ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/95 "2000-09-14T13:13:33Z")
A future unknown I relate, Uncertainty I really hate, My job has now changed, my life rearranged, I fear my posting will be late. sigh… ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/96 "2000-09-14T14:01:36Z")
I see that this thread is still growing And I hear that TN\*Hippie is going To spend some time in jail And the grass in his tail Won’t be the kind that’s for mowing. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/97 "2000-09-14T14:05:55Z")
**GolfWidow** has learned the trick Of choosing rhymes that will stick In your memory With her note to Hippie She’s joined our Limerick Clique. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/98 "2000-09-14T14:09:50Z")
**Southern** don’t get so down 'Cause your life is spinning around I’m sure in a while You’ll come through with **Style** And wear an upside-down frown! ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/99 "2000-09-14T14:11:40Z")
The thread soars along on gold wings, Its voice so beautifully sings, The **Hippie** ’s fine post, we shall miss the most, The loss of his wittiness stings. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/100 "2000-09-14T14:15:16Z")
Ah **Chief** , you may be right, It’s just work, it’s not a plight, Maybe one day, I’ll look back and say, That frown is nowhere in sight. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=6)