# Limericks, cont'd **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2000, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214 "2000-09-06T12:10:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/121 "2000-09-19T16:40:42Z")
Ahh, yes. It’s the NFL rhymes I’ve seen them a few dozen times But the subject is dear To my heart, so you’ll hear No less than another two chimes There was an unbeatable pair Who would always connect through the air Montana to Rice My God it was nice Now they’re gone, and we’re left with despair There once was a Quarterback, Steve Who could pass on the run, bob and weave He got hit once too many And his head needs a nanny He retired, and now we’re bereaved ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/122 "2000-09-19T16:54:05Z")
Ah, The Niners and Packers do strive To keep their true fans’ hopes alive. Just a few years ago They were ultimate foes Now, combined, they are just 1 and 5 ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/123 "2000-09-19T17:21:50Z")
We welcome you, **Bottle of Smoke** , And share with you coke and a toke, While we’re getting high, we’ll eye **Spider** ’s thigh… Hey Wait! It was meant as a joke! ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/124 "2000-09-19T20:05:45Z")
**SouthernStyle** , I know that you jest You’re a right horny fellow I’ve guessed So I can’t figure why You would settle for thigh When you’d much rather stare at her chest. :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/125 "2000-09-19T20:09:43Z")
With bruises and ice packs and meds Tabithina returns to the threads. Hope you get better quickly (no longer are sickly) and will stay up and out of your bed\*. -----🙂 —////\\ [\*except for sleeping and recreational purposes] ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/126 "2000-09-19T20:26:40Z")
To stare at her chest is the dregs, Foregiveness is sought for with begs, As assest her chest, is simply not best, Naught beats a great pair of legs! ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/127 "2000-09-19T21:02:37Z")
Two Posters, the Styler and Smoke Saying breasts or legs, oh what a joke For the truth is dear friends As each man comprehends Gotta have both to please any bloke ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/128 "2000-09-19T21:06:08Z")
True, true. 'Twas a fault that shant pass. To stare at her chest was most crass. Sadly I must confide Without one hint of pride I was ogling her really nice…personality. Hmmm…I had a rhyme there, but I just lost it. ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2000, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/129 "2000-09-19T21:10:14Z")
**tradesilicon** is truly most wise Breasts and legs are both sought by my eyes And is makes my soul burn To view each in its turn So I’m starting again with her thighs. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/130 "2000-09-20T15:22:22Z")
The **trade** is a master of tact, No brag, it really is fact! I last heard him say, in the kindest of ways, “I like the way **Spider** is stacked”. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/131 "2000-09-20T16:17:52Z")
Styler, you’ll get me in hot water. Thought Spider I’m sure can build tension There one thing that I should mention There is only one For Tradesilicon My wife gets my total attention ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/132 "2000-09-20T16:50:48Z")
There once was an cheerleader dame Who made a bold move to earn fame When she yelled ‘Rah Rah Rah’ She’d lift up her bra And the fans all forgot 'bout the game ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/133 "2000-09-20T18:05:19Z")
\*\*Sili[/] has voiced his protest, So to fibbing I must now attest, To **Spider** a rose, and Sili cudos, From now on I’ll keep you abreast. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/134 "2000-09-20T18:29:02Z")
I hope I’ve not caused any strife I shant ogle, I swear on my life. Of fair **Spider** ’s charm I wrote with base smarm (So please guys, don’t go tell my wife). ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/135 "2000-09-20T19:21:33Z")
To ogle an leer is just fine, In fact it’s a pasttime of mine, First a quick glance, and then the romance, All due to a plunging neckline. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/136 "2000-09-20T19:30:43Z")
While reading the posts of these guys poor Spidey can’t believe her eyes. A sex symbol could fake to jump out of a cake. Not a spider, it wouldn’t be wise. Your rhyming talents I must soon share with your wives, to make them aware that you fellahs’ talent of a poetical bent is something for which they would care. (diabolical Spider laughter: bwee mwee tee hee) -----😛 —////\\ ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/137 "2000-09-20T20:23:12Z")
My wife, sans a doubt, does know, That I’ll watch whatever girls show, But please be descrete, if ever you meet, My girlfriend, she’s good at judo. I hope I don’t cause an upsurge, ☹ And no lurker awaits on the verge, :eek: Of telling the missus, :o how I’ve shared some kisses, 😉 I couldn’t resist the strong urge. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2000, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/138 "2000-09-20T21:16:40Z")
There once was a horny young mister Who could not resist his wife’s sister But low and behold When the missus was told She was shocked that all he did was kissed her! ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/139 "2000-09-21T13:57:18Z")
(good deal – we have a TOPIC again. I wonder how long it will last? 😕) I have a terrific little wife, That seldom causes worry or strife, Just an amateur nag, and she’s starting to sag, But still, I’ve a wonderful life! :):)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214/140 "2000-09-21T16:12:30Z")
There will be an NFL game Excuse me if I think it’s lame For two teams who were great Today’s no debate That they’re losers, I’ll watch all the same… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-contd/32214.md?page=8)