# Limericks of the Straight Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 16, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322 "2007-05-16T14:44:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/1 "2007-05-16T14:44:54Z")
In the forum called Cafe Society We outhip the staff of _Variety_ With cultural knowledge You can’t get in college Unspoiled by any propriety! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/2 "2007-05-16T16:17:12Z")
Every Doper with brains masturbates To a juicy thread in Great Debates You’re wrong and I’m right! No, you’re wrong, here’s a cite! Who wins? That forever awaits. ---
**Author:** ![Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/48db29/32.png) [@Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Key_Lime_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/3 "2007-05-16T16:41:11Z")
The gerbils’ morale drops to nuttin’ their collars begin to unbutton no lunch break coming the wheels must be humming For all the new threads by BrainGlutton ---
**Author:** ![Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/48db29/32.png) [@Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Key_Lime_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/4 "2007-05-16T17:42:44Z")
Hey newbies, the rules here are few like don’t post a WAG in GQ IANAE’s the bluff if you don’t know your stuff until a SDSAB corrects you ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/5 "2007-05-16T18:37:35Z")
And what about the dirty limericks? Be surprised what Autolycus licks! :eek: All the garters and corsets, :eek::eek:18" DHIBJD:eek::eek: and furry anklets, Maybe include a few links to hot chicks? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/6 "2007-05-16T18:45:31Z")
When the antics of one not sir blah Have had their score minutes on tha Lowest point of the sea, oh Fed by Duran’s friend, Rio On a treadmill he’ll just gotcha ya. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/7 "2007-05-16T19:00:31Z")
Our Great Perfect Master is Cecil! Is he real, or is he just a vessel For Ed Zotti alone, Or for parties unknown? With this puzzle forever we wrestle! ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/8 "2007-05-16T19:09:12Z")
I’m entitled to each Straight Dope perk That’s if I don’t act like a jerk But I fear my enjoyment might risk unemployment As I post way too often from work. ---
**Author:** ![Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/48db29/32.png) [@Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Key_Lime_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/9 "2007-05-16T19:35:08Z")
Some Dopers you just can’t believe and maybe you need a reprieve Well don’t become mis’rable just emulate **Liberal** and offer them money to leave ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/10 "2007-05-16T19:37:14Z")
The Dope is a hell of a board One of the best I have heard I’m here night and day Hardly I stray Hope that doesn’t make me a nerd. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/11 "2007-05-16T19:41:57Z")
A repreive to which members snuck off When in their jobs they just don’t have the luck of Steady and fun work to do Or a boss of a shrew To whom they can say “hey, just stop messing around with me and let me post to the SDMB!” ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/12 "2007-05-16T19:56:32Z")
Have you heard about **Ludovic** , man? His poetry just doesn’t scan When asked why that was he said, with a pause, It’s because I always try to cram as many words into the very last line as I possibly can. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/13 "2007-05-16T21:00:06Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] A repreive to which members snuck off When in their jobs they just don’t have the luck of Steady and fun work to do Or a boss of a shrew To whom they can say “hey, just stop messing around with me and let me post to the SDMB!” [/QUOTE] ISWYDT 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/14 "2007-05-16T21:12:56Z")
Beware of the BBQ Pit! They’ll flame you, they’ll call you a shit! What rules of decorum? They’ll safely ignore 'em! And you dig it! Own up and admit! ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/15 "2007-05-17T03:28:54Z")
When there’s mundane, pointless, shit I must post, There’s a forum the Straight Dope does host for sorrows, and joys for bummers, or toys you don’t need a GQ IQ to boast. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/16 "2007-05-17T12:25:30Z")
These limericks tread a fine line That the [Forum Rules](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=343601) state and define; No personal pokes Are allowed in these jokes Or mod action may cause you to whine. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/17 "2007-05-17T12:58:57Z")
The Admins, they run a tight ship No insults intended will slip If a Doper you poke Even if as a joke You’ll find that they wield a mean whip 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/48db29/32.png) [@Key\_Lime\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Key_Lime_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/18 "2007-05-17T15:48:18Z")
My verses were meant with bonhomie But I see, now that you’ve shown me Their tone was askew An apology’s due I’m sorry & please don’t disown me ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/19 "2007-05-17T16:23:08Z")
For the SDSAB cohorts, There’s a place to compose your retorts Staff Reports you disfavor, Or those that you savor: Here are [Comments on Staff Reports](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?f=6) ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2007, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/20 "2007-05-17T18:54:02Z")
This board had diverse _cognoscenti_ having answers to questions aplenty and a whimsical side with remarks sometimes snide and a death ray from, oh, 1920 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322.md?page=2)