# Limericks of the Straight Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 16, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322 "2007-05-16T14:44:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/41 "2010-10-06T20:06:00Z")
As the editor said to the censor, "\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* amends, sir! "\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* "Shove\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* “\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* and denser!” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/42 "2010-10-06T20:18:35Z")
Oh noes, here we going agains, My ears hear the miserable strains Of our new overlords - The great zombified hordes - All groaning lugubriously, “BRAINS!”. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/43 "2010-10-06T21:07:51Z")
I thought I would drop in for knowledge Whatever I’d missed back in college. But I saw Great Debates With its arguesome pates And I thought it a fine mess of follyege. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/44 "2010-10-06T21:10:04Z")
Read before you post, Kite. Look! I’m channeling **Brain Glutton.** ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/45 "2010-10-06T22:18:11Z")
I love limericks. I wooed a stewed nude in Bermuda I thought I was crude but she was cruder She thought it would be rude To be persued in the nude So I persued her, subdued her, and screwed her And something a little more topical: Cafe Society is a place with good hooks To talk about music, movies, food, and books Cathy is now dead Should I eat bread? Wonder Woman’s new costume - like how it looks? I’m a little rusty on my limerick writing. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/46 "2010-10-06T22:31:04Z")
Oedipus and Jocasta would pucker And out of her clothes he would shuck her 'Til he got a surprise And he gouged out his eyes The pitiful, sad, Freudian archetype! ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/47 "2010-10-06T22:49:13Z")
From Sydney to Constantinople The Dope’s user base is near global The sole places missed Form the following list: Antarctica; Lapland; Hi Opal! ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/48 "2010-10-06T22:53:31Z")
There once was a fellow from the sticks Who loved writing limericks But he gave up the sport 'Cuz he wrote them too short ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/49 "2010-10-06T22:58:25Z")
In GD, we’re egalitarian, From socialist to libertarian, We make fun of your credo, Like Rush in a Speedo, But lay off of my church Pastafarian! ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/50 "2010-10-07T02:13:11Z")
In the evening I cruise Cafe Society In a state of culinary anxiety A new chicken dish? Maybe something with fish? My dinner could use some variety! _gimme a break, there’s only like 5 words that rhyme with society_ ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/51 "2010-10-07T03:45:00Z")
A Charter Member I’ll never be And I didn’t join up last century But in ten years if we’re still around Y’know In the MMP I’ll be found Happily bragging about my longevity. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/52 "2010-10-07T14:44:46Z")
The Dopers, required to scan, All answered _en masse_, “Yes we can!” Some nailed the mark; Some shot in the dark. And others just looked and then ran. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/53 "2010-10-07T14:52:48Z")
This thread it started in May (Back in 2007, by the way) It’s back from the dead And it’s now being read Go zombie go, hip hooray! ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/54 "2010-10-07T15:06:04Z")
:smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack:😃 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/55 "2010-10-07T15:43:01Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack:😃 Cadence? Format? Bah. details, details details. Don’t cramp my style! ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/56 "2010-10-07T16:03:45Z")
**Tethered Kite** ’s headpalm smileys begin Then repeat to the reader’s chagrin Though they don’t say too much When they’re used as a crutch Can inspire the Dopers to grin. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/57 "2010-10-08T01:15:12Z")
Gang, don’t you give me no flacking My smilies just may leave you hacking. But when times are tough They seem good enough Sneer again and I’ll give you a whacking. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/58 "2010-10-08T01:42:15Z")
And now, a bright shiny-new section On the 2010 midterm election! It’s almost like GD But puffs each nominee Like Greenland in Mercator Projection! ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/59 "2010-10-08T01:51:40Z")
So now it’s of pols that you sing Like parrots their promises fling. Vote Left or Right At the end of the fight We’re given again the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/60 "2010-10-08T03:15:19Z")
A Republican man-about-town Could make a smile vertical frown For, at finish, the heel Always made the girl kneel And let all the wealth trickle down! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322.md?page=4)