# Limericks of the Straight Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 16, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322 "2007-05-16T14:44:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/61 "2010-10-08T04:55:13Z")
Libertarians swing and they play You can use them most any which way Straight, gay, trans, or bi Or whatever you’ll try All while shouting for freedom, hooray! Socialists like to share their virility But it brings social costs in fertility, For, “To each by her need!” Is their true solemn creed, But the sharing wears out the ability! The proud stalwarts of the Tea Party Have lusts that are hearty but naughty Such as offering their sack As a mid-morning snack To all and to sundry! How haughty! A lascivious thing is a Green Every tree, every shrub, every bean Every beast classed “Endangered” And life-forms far stranger Must endure his attentions obscene! ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/62 "2010-10-08T14:39:55Z")
Limericks are overdone. Sometimes an off-cadence haiku Restores tranquility. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/63 "2010-10-08T14:54:07Z")
> [@Scuba\_Ben](#): > > Limericks are overdone. > Sometimes an off-cadence haiku > Restores tranquility. The haiku’s gnomic pith hath delighted Generations of esthetes benighted But the limerick’s shape Fits the sassy, lewd jape And it rhymes, which is not to be slighted! ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/64 "2010-10-08T15:28:19Z")
So now you can call me impressed My vocab is seriously stressed You sly witty t----s Left me without words Your limericks are truly the best! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/65 "2010-10-08T16:52:22Z")
> [@Scuba\_Ben](#): > > Limericks are overdone. > Sometimes an off-cadence haiku > Restores tranquility. Haiku: A form that Is to poetry as tic- Tac-toe is to games Evoke an image Syllable counting’s easy Wipe it off and zip Four windows open Three for Straight Dope, one for porn Multitasking rules! In Great Debates Disagree at length, with cites No judge, no winner Digital hive-brain Flame-war threads will bifurcate The seizure is grand mal There’s work to be done But my PC offers Dope Damn my addiction! Hit “Post Reply” and wait Weary hamsters puff and wheeze Curse my full bladder! Nerds in the ether Learning wows the unseen crowd Who needs to get laid? Cafe Society Klingon proverbs, Simpsons quotes How bored are you guys? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/66 "2010-10-08T19:34:32Z")
This limerick, I’m tempted to chuck it In the round file - I mean the waste bucket For I’m far, far too tired To be really inspired And it’s not going to work; I say “Give up”. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/67 "2010-10-08T20:29:40Z")
A Democrat is well suited to diddle In the sense that he’s straight-up-the-middle But, 'tween left and right hand He can ne’er make a stand, At the end, can just sit there and twiddle! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/68 "2010-10-08T20:40:31Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: > :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack:😃 Many Dopers do not look too highly :dubious: On gratuitous use of a smiley :rolleyes: I say, they’re full of crap! :mad: Such an expressive app! 🙂 Use it slyly or dryly – not shyly! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/69 "2010-10-08T22:11:57Z")
When diagnosing a festering cyst There spawns a substantial list Of impacted pustules With fetish-like lust you’ll Ask of what ooze they consist ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/70 "2010-10-08T23:59:14Z")
A poster named Starving Artiste, Thinks Obama’s the mark of the beast, Things were more nifty, In 1950, And stay off my grass if your please. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/71 "2010-10-09T00:05:19Z")
It’s plain that a plane never will, Take off from a moving treadmill, But as to nine yards, Even this bard, Is totally clueless yet still. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/72 "2010-10-14T17:53:03Z")
A theocon’s holy and pious But political judgment is biased By his mind filled with floods Of the cries of hung studs: “Come into the closet and try us!” ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/73 "2010-10-14T19:05:11Z")
Knowledge flows here voluminously Post a question - the answer you’ll see! But try as we might No one’s ever got right 14 K of G in FPD ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/74 "2010-10-14T19:11:51Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11798231&postcount=42](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11798231&postcount=42) Once a Gladiator Intergalactically Fought the Black Light Shadow climactically Shooting the Shadow in the face And launching him into space Was the Gladiator’s best option, tactically ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/75 "2010-10-14T19:35:11Z")
We like seeing ignorace fought But it _is_ taking longer’n we thought In the 38th year It’s becoming quite clear That there’s some Dopes who just can’t be taught! ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/76 "2010-10-14T20:12:47Z")
A Doper named **Wheelz** saw a thread That was rescued last week from the dead. Now he’s posting _again_, Though he really should end 'Cause he’s got limericks stuck in his head! ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/77 "2010-10-14T22:16:38Z")
Some Dopers have wisdom, some wit Some are brilliant, some just full of it And some odd transcriptors Defy all descriptors Like **Super Kapowzler** , and shit. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/78 "2010-10-14T23:58:58Z")
So, once was a poster named **Nantucket- Nectar**, whose posts fit in a wee bucket Certain language didn’t fit In what we here call the Pit So, must have left with a twee “Fuck It!” ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/79 "2010-10-15T00:05:57Z")
I tried to write a good limerick Turned out to be all too grim a trick Seeing what others here did Made me give up my bid Cause what I had was too slim a schtick ---
**Author:** ![farsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@farsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/farsix)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322/80 "2010-10-16T02:47:36Z")
I was searching for someplace to chat While Blizzard’s installing a patch The game’s an affliction Here it’s fact versus fiction Here I’ve found a new sickness to catch [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-of-the-straight-dope/404322.md?page=5)