# LIMERICKS, Part 2 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 18, 1999, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034 "1999-09-18T02:23:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/1 "1999-09-18T02:23:00Z")
To all of you readers who’re new: Welcome to Limericks, Part 2! Send us your best Of 5-line rhymed jest; We’ll laugh either at you or with you! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/2 "1999-09-18T02:26:00Z")
Any subject matter here is cool. We have but one major rule: Send in your _own_, Not ones we’ve all known From magazines and john walls at school! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/3 "1999-09-18T03:41:00Z")
Now that we’ve got this new thread I hope creativity ain’t dead! Just send in a jingle About what makes you tingle, Or otherwise rock-n-roll in bed! ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/4 "1999-09-18T04:01:00Z")
## I insist these poems are all fun But let’s wait and not jump the gun, For what’ll we do if we start on Haiku? (I’d wait til these limericks get done.) “I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) `\/-------\ `| |-----| | …c.c…c.c… ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/5 "1999-09-18T05:23:00Z")
Haiku is entirely too short, To pass for acceptable sport, Stanzas seventeen? An allowance too mean, A sonnet’s perhaps more our forte ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/6 "1999-09-18T05:30:00Z")
I wrote “stanzas” when I meant “syllables” I will now shut up until able To write a bit better (I studied belles lettres!) But some mind gaps are, sadly, unfillable ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/7 "1999-09-18T08:16:00Z")
You long-haired hippie guy You make me want to cry You think you’re so tough One thread ain’t enough Hope I don’t see a lim’rick 'til I die * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/8 "1999-09-18T09:08:00Z")
Satan, from all that I’ve read Your title has gone to your head You’re bitchin’ too much 'Bout MPSIMS and such Let heatherlee put you to bed. Tennhippie of limerick fame, This rhyming thing is a fun game. I wish I was better At puttin’ limericks together But the others just put me to shame. I went to the BBQ pit To giggle at flames for a bit. I created a pot For the best of the lot So go add your fave sarcastic wit. ## So now I’ve made three limericks. I only did it for kicks. I’ve discovered I suck At rhyming-type stuff, Henceforth, I leave others to this. Veni, Vidi, Visa … I came, I saw, I bought. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/9 "1999-09-18T13:33:00Z")
**Catrandom** , I hope you will say That the bad rhyme was part of the play; I read your sharp quip At a well-metered clip, Till I got to the word pronounced **for-TAY** ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/10 "1999-09-18T13:42:00Z")
Now I’m embarassed all day For insisting the word was **for-TAY**. Got Webster off the shelf To check up on myself; **Both** pronunciations are okay. ---
**Author:** ![Nickrz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@Nickrz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nickrz)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/11 "1999-09-18T14:15:00Z")
There once was a guy in GQ, Who for questions examined his poo. Hence the thread that was born From discovering corn Left poor Nickrz to mutter “P.U.” ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 1999, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/12 "1999-09-19T05:02:00Z")
My dear Hippie, no need to turn red, Write more fine limericks instead, For pronunciation, Is part of my station, In life, signed Catrandom, Ed. ---
**Author:** ![No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/no_me_ayudes_compadre/32/5224_2.png) [@No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 1999, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/13 "1999-09-19T05:49:00Z")
My first posting in this thread’s part deux Will surely disappoint all of you I know you deserve A rhyme with more nerve And I feel quite bad, I sure do. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/14 "1999-09-18T20:27:00Z")
Tenhippie, this thread is the bomb, It tickles my RAM and my ROM. I want to say “Thanks” So I’ll help end your angst - [http://www.zippythepinhead.com](http://www.zippythepinhead.com) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/15 "1999-09-18T20:31:00Z")
My first oral attempt? I’ll now ink it: Couldn’t pronounce _cunnilingus_, just think it. She seemed unconcerned As she shuddered and squirmed; All **I** had to do was lip-sync it! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 1999, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/16 "1999-09-18T20:40:00Z")
**manhattan** , thanks for the **Zip** ; It’s been years since I’ve seen that strip! I am imbued With deep gratitude; You flashed me back to a glorious trip! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 1999, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/17 "1999-09-19T03:06:00Z")
So we’re losing our beloved Adam. (Or ARG as we say when mad at 'im) He’ll no longer tease us With science from Jesus, Nor he tempted by the Rational Madam. ---
**Author:** ![Atrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 1999, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/18 "1999-09-19T04:30:00Z")
I’m sorry to see Adam go As I newbie, I didn’t even he know So I’ll sit here and try very hard not to cry "cause I missed his talks on credo. ---
**Author:** ![Lioness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85e7bf/32.png) [@Lioness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lioness)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 1999, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/19 "1999-09-19T10:42:00Z")
When the Lioness came to town, She immediately put C # 3 down, Now he is red assed because he knows he’s out classed The Lioness made him look like a clown. * * * Lioness, I rule the King of the jungle ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 1999, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034/20 "1999-09-19T15:13:00Z")
Lioness, I wouldn’t be boasting About your superior roasting. His thinking transmission Is out of commission: You’re in 4th gear; he’s coasting. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks-part-2/9034.md?page=2)