# LIMERICKS **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916 "2000-06-20T00:30:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/21 "2000-06-20T18:50:21Z")
There once was a man down the hall who bought an inflatable doll He blew her up quickly, as she left he watched sickly Perhaps helium weren’t smart after all. ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/22 "2000-06-20T22:10:26Z")
TennHippie gave up his Nintendo So time on the Boards he could spend-o. Lewd verse was required But my brain has expired - Please, stick in your own innuendo. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/23 "2000-06-21T00:07:51Z")
Nintendo I’ve never adored. With all 'puter games I’m quite bored. Unless cybersex counts, In which case my “mounts” Have been several, and fun, Oh my Lord! ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/24 "2000-06-21T00:30:32Z")
I’d brag, but it’s lame except for this one dame love at first spank God, I have to Thank now she has my last name :eek: (yeah, I love my wife :D) ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/25 "2000-06-21T02:21:09Z")
…but I think he’d want us to keep laughing. Let’s try. There once was a gal named Babbitt Who had an unusual habit: By day she was rude And acted the prude, But at night she fucked like a rabbit. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/26 "2000-06-21T12:38:11Z")
I plied her with wine and french bread, then took her straight to the bed; She said, “I don’t screw, bad poets like you”, And wound up giving me head. Gimme a break. It’s early. (Where’s my coffee?) SouthernStyle ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/27 "2000-06-25T07:00:25Z")
There once was a lady named Jackie Whose bedroom manners were tacky. When asked to go down, She replied with a frown: "I’m your lick_ee_, not lackey. apologies, TN\*Hippie ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/28 "2000-06-25T07:12:39Z")
I know that it’s getting quite late, But the lack of responses I hate. I simply ask that you _try_ To be rhythmic and wry. Any effort from y’all would be great. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/29 "2000-06-25T07:27:10Z")
I’ll refrain from cursing and shouting But your lack of interest has me doubting That anyone reading Will succumb to my pleading So I guess I’ll just go to bed pouting. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/30 "2000-06-26T04:16:16Z")
If we can’t do better than this A poor group we are, bro & sis The limericks are few And many not new (wait a sec…I gotta go piss) ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/31 "2000-06-26T04:25:02Z")
I wish you’d get off your butt And take us out of this rut It’s really quite easy To rhyme and be sleazy So bring on the well-metered smut! ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/32 "2000-06-26T04:31:53Z")
Once on the ass of St. Frances, Vaseleine was spread in great 'spanses, Which is why I suppose, It hasn’t decomposed, A tribute to his secret romances. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/33 "2000-06-26T04:37:05Z")
I swear after this one I’ll stop Slinging this poetic slop I see nobody cares To take on my dares But at least this thread’s back on top ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/34 "2000-06-26T04:45:00Z")
Far be it from me not to care, But your rhyme and rhythm lack flare, Which is why I’ll drop in, And twice give it a spin, To show that I truly am there. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/35 "2000-06-26T04:49:15Z")
Yes, folks, I know that I swore That I’d not type any more I honestly tried But apparently lied For I am a compulsive bore.\* \*boor, if you wish ---
**Author:** ![DippyMonger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@DippyMonger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DippyMonger)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/36 "2000-06-26T04:55:08Z")
I really think you guys are lame, Of course no offence all the same, But quit with this thread It’s becoming quite dead It’s starting to drive me insane ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/37 "2000-06-26T06:01:44Z")
DippyMonger- It’s true that it’s all just a fluke, And these words they come from a kook. But you whimper, whine, And waste all our time. So don’t click the thread, ya mook! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/38 "2000-06-26T06:01:59Z")
All of these limericks here suck Not one that’s worth my buck You try to be crude Crass, clever, and lewd But yet I’m left saying “Shmuck!” (Betcha thought I was gonna put something else in there, huh? Well I didn’t!) Okay, here’s another one… There once was a guy named Ooby Who took a big draught from a doobie He got a lil’ too high And went out, feeling sly To get himself a little booty. ---
**Author:** ![dewt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@dewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dewt)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/39 "2000-06-26T06:14:59Z")
I thought that I’d not reply and simply let the thread die but thinking of Tin’s seven and giving the girls heaven I’d ask if that’s ‘thick’ or ‘high’ it’s amazing how many words don’t rhyme with ‘seven’ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/40 "2000-06-26T12:30:46Z")
The physical’s not really my game. Though some say it’s not really the same. I go it alone Sex cyber and phone Free of disease, pregnancy and shame. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916.md?page=3)