# LIMERICKS **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916 "2000-06-20T00:30:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/41 "2000-06-26T16:04:04Z")
I gotta toss in the definition of a limerick from David Gerrolds “War Against the Chtorr” books (Every chapter in one of them ends with a limerick.) A limerick of classic proportion Should have rhyme, meter, and a portion Of humor quite lewd And a frightfully crude Impossible sexual contortion. Now here’s mine: There was a young man named Buzz, Whose tastes made trouble with the fuzz. He slept with the dead “It’s legal”, he said, “As long as they’re consenting adults”! No, I’m not ashamed. I’ve read what the rest of you have posted. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/42 "2000-06-26T20:06:54Z")
Since we’re headed from bad to worse, I figured this was a good time to put mine in. When speaking to proper yong lasses Dirty Old men could fog up their glasses At the mention of sin After three shots of Gyn And the mixin’ and minglin’ of classes A handsome young plummer named French Would rarely pass up a good Wench When called to fix pipe She’d already be ripe And he hardly did work with his wrench last, and possibly least The art of transforming a man To putty which melts in her hand Was mastered by Beth When she worked without breath And did mouth-to-mouth on his gland ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/43 "2000-06-26T21:02:27Z")
I’ve heard that “size doesn’t matter” But I suspect gals say this to flatter Us loveable guys Of average size Or an inch short or long (I’m the latter) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/44 "2000-06-26T22:25:54Z")
There once was a President, Bill Who found that an intern can thrill And got his delight When she turned off the light And promised she’s taking the pill just for TN There once was a Tennessee Lad About his own schlong he was glad Didn’t realize at all Wheather big, wide or tall Not beeing used is the thing that is bad 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/45 "2000-06-27T01:50:48Z")
The sound for which I’ve yearned, has meter twisted and turned; It’s come back to me, with little mercy, The Limerick thread has returned. To see a woman’s smile, at actions mildly vile; From whence you pee, insert into she, That’s doing it " **SouthernStyle**! ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/46 "2000-06-27T20:40:12Z")
Casanova, the lover of lore Was insisting on love on the floor And he wore just his grin When the husband walked in Now poor Casa is lovin’ no more ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/47 "2000-06-28T00:37:32Z")
Casanovette the little known sis, of the lover that just didn’t miss; Had the adorable habbit, of love like a rabbit, and sent men away with a kiss. ---
**Author:** ![Notorioustobias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3be4f8/32.png) [@Notorioustobias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Notorioustobias)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916/48 "2000-06-28T02:58:00Z")
It’s late and there’s naught to do but sleep or sit on the loo; for lack of much else I pleasure myself and post on straight dope until 2 “It’s not just awful. It’s god-awful.”-Max Cannon [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/22916.md?page=2)