# limericks
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 21, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123 "2000-08-21T03:56:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 24, 2000, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/41 "2000-08-24T17:37:04Z")
It’s fate though previously bleak,
Has been given a little tweak;
With a click and a thump,
to the front it did jump,
This thread is the best of the week.
---
### Author:  [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)
#### Post date: [August 24, 2000, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/42 "2000-08-24T19:06:47Z")
The problem with that **SouthernStyle** ;
A scheme such as your’s needs more guile.
You went through the trouble,
To post your poem double,
But between was such a short while.
---
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 24, 2000, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/43 "2000-08-24T19:29:50Z")
The post allegedly by me,
repeats just as does history;
There’s really no trouble,
You’re not seeing double,
The timing is relative, you see?
---
### Author:  [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)
#### Post date: [August 24, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/44 "2000-08-24T21:17:52Z")
Don’t mean to kick up any fusses,
Nor cause you to say any cusses,
But the relative time,
Didn’t seem so sublime,
When you were cut off by [slow city buses.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=34733&pagenumber=1)
---
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 24, 2000, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/45 "2000-08-24T21:50:07Z")
The “bus” thread sure didn’t work,
What with SATAN acting the jerk;
Every time I would post,
He would offer the most,
telling proof of why he should lurk.
---
### Author:  [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/46 "2000-08-25T02:28:15Z")
Can anyone help me with a limerick that starts with the line
“there once was a man from Nantucket”
its kind of a joke with a friend of mine, and unfortunately, i have no creative ability whatsoever.
---
### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/47 "2000-08-25T02:40:26Z")
This is a spur of the moment adaptation of a oneliner joke that I learned twenty years ago.\*
The oversexed dentist named Frost,
told the pretty assistant he bossed.
“That’s quite the nice set,
in fact the nicest yet.”
“Set of teeth that I’ve come across.”
- As the dentist told his pretty assistant;
“Nicest set of teeth I’ve ever come across.” :o
(Kill me now, I’ve just used my first smiley!!! I’ll have to start a support thread just to deal with this!!! Thank goodness that it was for a perverted purpose!!!)
---
### Author:  [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/48 "2000-08-25T02:47:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by hypergirl \*
> \*\*Can anyone help me with a limerick that starts with the line “there once was a man from Nantucket”
> \*\*
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
“If my ear was a pussy, I’d fuck it.”
Now what do I get for helping you, hypergirl? 😉
---
### Author:  [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/49 "2000-08-25T12:46:58Z")
Sorry the bus thread was mangled,
As you and that Satan guy wrangled.
Though he tries to act hip,
On his shoulder’s a chip,
And there’s [others with whom he has tangled.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=590211#post590211)
---
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/50 "2000-08-25T14:29:39Z")
I know that Satan’s a pest,
Seems he fell too far from the nest;
It’s attention he sought,
But it’s trouble he bought,
When control of the thread he did wrest.
---
### Author:  [@DVous\_Means](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DVous_Means)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/51 "2000-08-25T14:50:57Z")
Here’s a topical one:
The limerick’s an artform complex
Whose contents run chiefly to sex
It’s famous for vrigins
And masculine urgin’s
And vulgar erotic effects
And one of my own:
A delicate young lady, Loretta
Swooned when she saw a French Letter
'Twas not due to it’s size
Though thay widened her eyes,
"Twas it’s contents that really upset her
---
### Author:  [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/52 "2000-08-25T15:05:07Z")
We must shift our focus a bit,
For though Satan can sure be a twit,
We must keep it uplifted,
Or this thread will be shifted,
Sent off to the BBQ Pit.
---
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/53 "2000-08-25T17:06:49Z")
The Pit just will not suffice,
For a thread with no sex or vice;
But the admin’s the boss,
So to prevent its loss,
The posters will have to play nice.
---
### Author:  [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/54 "2000-08-25T17:25:46Z")
I don’t think we should worry one bit
'bout this thread being bound for the Pit
If we promise we won’t
Bring up felching a goat
Then the mod’rators won’t give a shit.
---
### Author:  [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/55 "2000-08-25T17:51:44Z")
These Mods can be [hard to predict](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=681552#post681552),
What passes and what they’ll restrict?
I once had a [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31576) -
“GQ” said my head.
But to IMHO it was kicked.
---
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/56 "2000-08-25T18:01:43Z")
I knew it was too good to last,
The thread’s heading downhill and fast;
When felching a goat,
wearing boots and a coat,
is the hijack, I’d call it half-assed.
---
### Author:  [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/57 "2000-08-25T18:38:16Z")
I’m so angry I’m filling with bile
Just where, Sir, do you get the guile
To say that those goats
Were in boots and in coats?
Not up north, that’s a southern style.
---
### Author:  [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/58 "2000-08-25T18:58:23Z")
We just had made up to do right,
Now you guys got right into a fight.
Guess folks are averse,
To a limerick verse,
With a punchline without any bite.
It’s just us that are keeping this flowing.
(Early on, others made a nice showing).
To me it’s occurred,
That it’s long since we’ve heard,
From the hippie who got the thing going.
---
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/59 "2000-08-25T20:39:34Z")
I thought that I’d give you a smile,
But your eyes are now yellow with bile;
It seemed that a goat,
wearing boots and a coat,
would coin the sex term “Satan Style”.
---
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/60 "2000-08-25T20:42:57Z")
Hippies are things of the past,
They lived hard and also lived fast;
Their humorous wit,
they’d share bit bt bit,
To their end, the die has been cast.
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