# limericks
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 21, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123 "2000-08-21T03:56:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [August 26, 2000, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/81 "2000-08-26T18:54:55Z")
My partner this morning was brilliant.
His presence to me is a titillant.
His predawn arousal
inspires this espousal
of his lovemaking prowess most diligent.
---
### Author:  [@socpro69](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/socpro69)
#### Post date: [August 26, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/82 "2000-08-26T21:26:14Z")
There once was a woman from Hyde
Who ate a green apple and died
The apple fermented
Whilst in the lamented
And made cider inside her inside.
---
### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/83 "2000-08-27T00:37:45Z")
A topic debated vociferously
is the question of one’s sexuality.
Some people condemn
people different from them
using variance as culpability.
“Tis known that gay people are evil
their behavior inspired by the devil.”
Fundies are liable
to reach for their Bible,
forgetting Christ’s words of high level:
“Do unto others as you
would have others do unto you.”
Judge not lest thee be judged
and thy character smudged,
And then name-calling you will eschew.
Lest my limericks be misunderstood
be advised, my intentions are good.
Though the art form is “low”
I mean only to show
we should love one another; we should!
---
### Author:  [@Lord\_Morgan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Morgan)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/84 "2000-08-27T01:44:24Z")
## A fellow named Dave from Nantucket kept eleven brass balls in a bucket. He used to have twelve, but (amusing himselve) he lost a ben-wa where he stuck it.
By Lord Morgan, the First of a Short Line of the Not-Yet Illustrious.
---
### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/85 "2000-08-27T04:20:29Z")
There once was a young man from Boston.
Who went out for a ride in his Austin.
There was room for his ass,
and a gallon of gas.
But his balls hung out and he lost them.
---
### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/86 "2000-08-27T04:52:00Z")
There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose balls were of two different sizes.
The one was so small
'Twas no ball at all,
But the other one won several prizes.
---
### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/87 "2000-08-27T04:57:01Z")
As played by the phantoms of Shrewl,
Midnight football is both eerie and cruel.
If a team kicks a ghost
Through the other’s goal post
It gets credit for scoring a ghoul.
---
### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/88 "2000-08-27T04:59:35Z")
There was a young fellow named Rex
With diminutive organs of sex.
When charged with exposure,
He replied with composure,
_De minimis non curat lex._
---
### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/89 "2000-08-27T05:01:04Z")
The limerick is furtive and mean.
You may keep it in close quarantive,
But it sneaks to the slums,
And quickly becomes,
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
---
### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/90 "2000-08-27T13:15:52Z")
To the member who’s called jti
the limericks you posted were sly
To gain Latin knowledge
I took it in college
but learned just enough to get by.
---
### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/91 "2000-08-27T16:37:40Z")
While this limerick fest is addicting
I will with regret be predicting
that if I continue
to post in this venue
my versing will be self-convicting.
---
### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [August 27, 2000, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/92 "2000-08-27T17:38:07Z")
My giggles I barely could stifle,
Reading Spider’s lim’ricks delightful.
Tho’ my Latin is rough,
This should be enough:
“Law doesn’t worry 'bout trifles.”
---
### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2000, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/93 "2000-08-28T03:23:18Z")
I swore to myself I was done
penning limericks (although they are fun)
but the rhymes in my head
will not be gainsaid
TN\*hippie, look what you’ve begun.
---
### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/94 "2000-08-28T04:31:24Z")
Spider,
The first time I posted that verse
Spelling was bad, grammar was worse.
The Dopers went to it,
And when they were through it,
My Latin was suitably terse:
[Does anyone learn Latin anymore?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=6286)
---
### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/95 "2000-08-28T04:33:29Z")
There was a young man from Australia
Who painted his arse like a dahlia.
The drawing was fine,
The colours divine!
The scent – ah, that was a failure.
---
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2000, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/96 "2000-08-28T15:04:43Z")
My weekend was filled with such fun,
But alas, it too quickly is done;
Then Monday’s highlight,
was the belated sight,
Of a compliment passed by **tradesilicon**. 😃
An artform invented for men,
The limerick is all too often,
Bypassed by fair maid,
But exception is made,
By the **l\_frenette\_vannurden**.
---
### Author:  [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2000, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/97 "2000-08-28T15:31:06Z")
That Doper named **matt** ’s quite a pickle -
His lim’ricks make me hysterical.
'Though he gets _my_ name right,
And I try w’th’all my might -
Is it “ **matt M-C-L** ” or “ **matt mcl** ”? 😃
There once was a Norse god named Loki
Who ruled the world’s chaos and disorder,
And because of this trait of his
It only makes sense
That this limerick doesn’t scan or rhyme.
Esprix
---
### Author:  [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/98 "2000-08-28T16:44:34Z")
To the Hippie I must tip my hat
Starting this thread, but not only that
He has kept in line
By checking in time from time
Then escaped to the beach, how 'bout that?
In the weekend which ended last night
I have found yet another delight
At Lake Tahoe’s North Shore
There was dining galore
And the view was indeed out of sight!
---
### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/99 "2000-08-28T18:56:15Z")
This thread is just way too much fun
That my housework will never get done
These limericks outrageous
are oh so contagious
I simply can’t stop at just one.
SouthernStyle is back into the fray
and I must say that he made my day.
And jti’s rhyming
was very fine timing.
They have quite a touch with wordplay.
But, this reason I thought of to stay
From this versing, “Tis dangerous!” I say.
With this posting poetical
T’will be antithetical
To write in a prosaic way.
---
### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 28, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/100 "2000-08-28T19:26:39Z")
A Woman referred to as “Spider”,
was showering at home when I spied her;
Quoting limericks by dope,
As she applied soap,
I mused to myself, “yeah, I’d ride her”.
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