# limericks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123 "2000-08-21T03:56:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2000, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/161 "2000-09-02T22:23:24Z")
Bored on a wet Saturday I was quickly sucked into the fray With minimal urgin’ This poor **SpoilerVirgin** Was rhyming the weekend away. I hope that my verse will suffice I’m afraid it contains little spice Though it’s true that a limerick Should be sexy or sick I find my rhymes are usually nice Please pardon this sudden intrusion I assure you I have no illusion Of writing lines as worthwhile As those of **Spider** or **Style** I’m sure you’ve reached a matching conclusion ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/162 "2000-09-03T00:55:35Z")
The mad hatter came to a party And threatened to get rather farty So sad for him For tucked under his brim Was a match. Guess he wasn’t so smartie ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/163 "2000-09-03T01:01:08Z")
The SDMB is the ticket For knowledge and fun you can’t lick it Each thread carries a label Please read, if you’re able And if you don’t like the topic, don’t click it! ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/164 "2000-09-03T01:47:42Z")
We’re so glad you stopped in to play! We’re delighted and hope you will stay! your rhymings are welcome wherever you hail from your verse makes a pleasing display. Now Spoiler joins sili and Styler and Spiritus Mundi and Spider Such alliteration all in one location makes this thread considerably brighter. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/165 "2000-09-03T02:30:34Z")
Ms. Muffet, who dined seated so quaintly on her tuffet began to feel faintly When spider, aghast informed the poor lass of the fat content found in those dainties. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/166 "2000-09-03T03:00:44Z")
Jen estis fraulin’ de Berlino Kiu estis nur duonfraulino Char unu duonon La lastan sezonon Shi stulte postlasis en kino. (Trans: There was a maiden of Berlin Who was only half a maiden Because the other half Last season She stupidly left in a cinema.) A Crusader’s wife slipped from the garrison And had an affair with a Saracen. She was not oversexed Or jealous or vexed; She just wanted to make a comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/167 "2000-09-03T11:41:05Z")
That matt-mcl has returned and more of my respect he has earned his offerings lymerical are never inimical. They’re often hysterical, I’ve learned. Styler must be cleaning his fish but we miss him and I fondly wish that he would regale us with big fishy tales (but none about cleaning them, ISH!) ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/168 "2000-09-03T12:26:19Z")
The news is that Hippie is back although he may not be unpacked his monstous creation has caused consternation because of him, my brain I wrack. The rhythm’s burned into my brain. Sad to say, it is firmly ingrained. I can’t kick the habit it’s making me rabid! How much longer will I stand the strain? An anonymous program I need if ever I am to succeed to regain my ambition it must be my decision, to stop, this thread not to feed. But alas, my character’s weak; the outlook’s exceedingly bleak. So I am resigned to keep typing these lines; I’m a blithering limerick freak! ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/169 "2000-09-04T12:17:34Z")
To the members here at the Straight Dope I’ve enjoyed it so much here and hope that this one day vacation brings you all relaxation Happy Labor Day, all of you folks! ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/170 "2000-09-04T18:00:23Z")
A day off from work is at hand, This day, observed all 'cross the land, For Labor and Aid, is due a parade, Lead by a trombone filled band! A doper has shown his offend, Of limericks publsihed with ‘SEND’, Though Postal he’s not, he’s also not smart, For clearly, SEND is the trend. (BTW, RE: **Spider** ’s disclaimer: I’ve read Charlotte’s Web – care to try again?) ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/171 "2000-09-04T19:01:09Z")
**Spider Woman** requested a program Which to limericks would let her say, “No, Ma’am!” But I’m caught just as badly So I must admit sadly That my only response can be, “Oh, damn!” Now I see my language has grown worse Though my cursing is certainly terse At least it’s still fit To be here, not the Pit And it actually rhymes with my verse ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/172 "2000-09-04T20:23:10Z")
Hey Styler, to hear from you’s nice you’re versing is bright and concise. I hope when I pressed send to I did not offend you if so I hope {{sorry}} will suffice.\* Now poor SpoilerVirgin is trapped and it’s clear to see she has the knack of this rhythmic scheme. But now it would seem a verse virus she did contract. [\*did Charlotte eat fish? I can’t remember.] ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/173 "2000-09-05T12:17:32Z")
Where are you TN\*hippie, you cad! While you’ve been away from your pad lots of folks have come calling. This thread is now sprawling It may be much more than a fad. And now that your sojurn adjourned you have finally returned to the boards, but not here so let me make this clear there is nothing like a Spider, scorned. ------:mad: ----////\\ ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/174 "2000-09-05T16:12:20Z")
What a weekend. Nice to be back though… There once was a limerick thread Which was sure to get us out of bed And cause us to write With all our might Boy, I’m glad the old thing isn’t dead There once was a man from Japan Who held twelve ginsu knives in one hand ‘It’s quicker than the eye’ Our juggler would cry Bu that’s more ginsu than he could stand There once was a lad from Down Under Who liked making love while it thundered For with each Lighting Bolt He performed one more jolt And what would result was no blunder ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/175 "2000-09-05T17:11:48Z")
Now folks, please don’t get me wrong I delight in this primitive song My brief hesitation Was from observation That this thread is now 4 pages long! ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/176 "2000-09-05T17:43:25Z")
Well look who appeared in full glory The Hippie who started this story I’m glad you took time Now get busy and rhyme IF YOU DON’T WE’LL MAKE SURE YOU’LL BE SORRY!! 😃 There once was a swingin’ rackoon Who ate nights and slept afternoons He always liked dates With other koon’s mates And he’ll likely start on possoms soon ---
**Author:** ![IzzyR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/177 "2000-09-05T17:49:24Z")
This thread, for a while, was the best, (And **Spider** should count herself blessed). Now don’t get me wrong, But it’s FOUR PAGES LONG!!! Perhaps you should give it a rest. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/178 "2000-09-05T17:53:59Z")
Four pages of limericks, they said. Isn’t it time for this trend to be dead. Until one look at the archives Revelas how many more lives Would be ruined by a new Phaedrus thread. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/179 "2000-09-05T17:59:42Z")
A poet from Cambridge once claimed To know the ultimate verse form by name 'Twas not the sonnet Nor the haiku, doggone it 'Twas the limerick that gave Shakespeare his fame. ---
**Author:** ![IzzyR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123/180 "2000-09-05T18:12:50Z")
A word about **Spiritus Mundi;** We know he is far from a Fundie, Were it not for the might, Of those who see the true light, Perhaps he’d resemble Ted Bundy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/30123.md?page=10)