# Limericks
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 28, 2001, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613 "2001-04-28T06:00:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 12
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2001, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/21 "2001-04-30T14:57:35Z")
Straight Dope fever’s what we caught.
Ignorance is what we’ve fought.
The man called Cecil, he’s
been fighting since '73.
It’s taking longer than we thought.
---
### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2001, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/22 "2001-04-30T21:34:37Z")
[**Cajun Man**](http://members.aol.com/cajunman51/), friend virtual and true
The muses of [art](http://members.aol.com/cajunman51/yinyang.gif) call to you
Yet above your [prowess](http://members.aol.com/cajunman51/silvery.jpg)
is your warmth and kindness
Witty [city](http://members.aol.com/cajunman51/fltIrnbldsrs.jpg) guy from the Bayou.
[**DrMatrix**](http://members.aol.com/drmatrix53/), whose knowledge abounds
[Funny](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=67940#post1265582) , [informative](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=66235#post1237539) , [profound](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68626#post1277838)
His beckoning path:
[Physics](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64995#post1218181), [IT](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=42855#post823031) and [math](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68758#post1280652)
With these tools he often [astounds](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68403#post1279784).
These [two](http://home.nyc.rr.com/gaycouple/anniversary.html), partners, friends through the years
Share love, grief, fears, laughter and tears.
Closer than brothers,
Distinct from each other,
Complementary lovers, not mirrors.
---
### Author:  [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/23 "2001-05-01T04:35:33Z")
Roses are red;
Violets are blue.
Wow, **Spider Woman**!
That’s so sweet of you.
(I know . . . I’ll stick to photography.)
---
### Author:  [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2001, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/24 "2001-05-01T15:04:46Z")
**imthjckaz** , more commonly, Bob
whom I met while we worked the same job
is a shy kind of fellow
kind, gentle and mellow
and my handsome, dashing heartthrob.
I had thought love was over for me
but I found it unexpectedly.
Though his words are few
his heart shines through
his eyes and the strength of his deeds.
---
### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2001, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/25 "2001-05-01T15:36:04Z")
Since I’ve got nothing better to do,
I’ll contribute a limerick or two.
As I now look upon it,
It’s less work than a sonnet,
And a great deal more laughs than haiku.
And, to keep up the theme of Doper haiku:
A Doper, whose name was **Punoqllads** ,
Found that saying his name would confound.
“It’s so simple,” he said,
“If you stand on your head
And pronounce it the other way round!”
---
### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/26 "2001-05-01T15:42:42Z")
Oh my gosh! I typed “Doper haiku”;
I meant “limerick”, of course (which you knew).
Such a stupid mistake!
Next time round I will take
Extra time for a proper Preview.
🙂
---
### Author:  [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/27 "2001-05-01T17:47:08Z")
Nice to see you, TN\*Hippie
There was a young Lion named Bruce,
Who felt all things were for his use.
But he made a mistake,
When he sat on a snake,
Now he can’t feel below his caboose!
---
### Author:  [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)
#### Post date: [May 2, 2001, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/28 "2001-05-02T16:45:24Z")
In a fit of insomnia, my brain spewed forth (and I mean spewed) limericks. To get them out of my brain, I got up and wrote them down. This merely made room for more limericks. Here is a sample of my 2:00 am ramblings….
The lim’ric’s a funny old bird.
To write one and not sound absurd,
One must mind the rhyming
And also the timing
And focus on every word.
An old codger asked his young daughter
To run out and fetch him some water.
She sent to the creek,
Leaned over to peek,
And WHOMP! The swamp monster got her.
One year a young masturbator
Sat down to a Passover Seder.
When sweets went around
He couldn’t be found.
(He showed up one half hour later.)
This l’il baby daughter of mine,
So sweet from her core to her rind.
Sometimes she’s a wench
And makes awful stench
But truly I don’t even mind.
On old bumpkin dressed rather tacky
Chewed on a plug of terbacky.
He sat on a spoon
And flew to the moon.
I’ll stop; this is getting too wacky!
A girl rather painful to see
Was teased most mercilessly.
Although she was ugly,
She said very smugly,
“You ain’t no cuter than me!”
A cute, cuddly critter called Clyde
Persistently pawed piles with pride.
To make like a mole
He hollowed a hole
And dug down so deep he done died.
A vindictive sister named Helen
Said to her brother, “I’m tellin’!”
She ran to her mommy
And said, “Eww, it’s Tommy.
He’s farting, and boy are they smellin’!”.
The author we call “Dr. Seuss”
Never used words like “chartreuse”.
He used words like “blork”
And “zuzz-zazzer-zork”
But never the color called “puce”.
A _verse-libre_ poet named Fred
Tried limerick writing instead.
After being derided
He one day decided
To screw the whole rhyme and meter thing altogether.
---
### Author:  [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)
#### Post date: [May 2, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/29 "2001-05-02T19:00:36Z")
There once was a Corporate Exec
Who acted as cocky as heck
But when push came to shove
And the making of love
The best he could do was a peck
---
### Author:  [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2001, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/30 "2001-05-04T03:56:02Z")
There once was a nice friendly fellow
Who drank all the time to stay mellow
He got many a date
But they never stayed late
His liver was hard, but his lover was Jell-O
---
### Author:  [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/31 "2001-05-04T04:05:32Z")
This lim’ricker’s lost all his steam
Like coffee that’s mostly just cream
So I’ll go to bed
And lay down my head
To sleep…perchance to dream…
---
### Author:  [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/63613/32 "2001-05-04T15:34:07Z")
There once was a Rooster named Rock
Who put the whole farm into shock
When he pleased all the hens
And they told all their friends
"He ain’t bright, but my lord, what a Cock!
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