# LIMERICKS **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 1999, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002 "1999-09-07T04:12:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/no_me_ayudes_compadre/32/5224_2.png) [@No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 1999, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/81 "1999-09-15T16:04:00Z")
The Muslim who once followed Allah Discovered the books of Kabbalah He now is a Jew And to remain true He traded his pitas for challah. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 1999, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/82 "1999-09-15T16:05:00Z")
Once again someone thinks they are wise By assuming they can just plagarize A limerick so old It’s covered with mold, And **not** a real good one, huh guys? ---
**Author:** ![No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/no_me_ayudes_compadre/32/5224_2.png) [@No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 1999, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/83 "1999-09-15T16:17:00Z")
In this rhyming sensation I lost my orientation Enchantment was ended TennHippie offended For which I request dispensation. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/84 "1999-09-16T05:33:00Z")
Anna, I know of the pain That comes from marital strain But Vronsky’s not right This lust you must fight Hey! Watch out for that train! ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 1999, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/85 "1999-09-15T23:46:00Z")
Well, I don’t intend to get Lippy But I’ve got an edge on Tenhippie At limericks he better, A true-blue trendsetter, But at least I get to read _Zippy_. * * * Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 1999, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/86 "1999-09-15T23:47:00Z")
Seven minutes, post to post. Not bad. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/87 "1999-09-16T02:00:00Z")
My reference was to the lady of Wheeling With the knack for wetting her ceiling; I know Loco means crazy, But this time you got lazy: In **6th grade** that joke had me reeling! ---
**Author:** ![GOD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/34f0e0/32.png) [@GOD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GOD)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/88 "1999-09-16T02:05:00Z")
Hey Loco, don’t fret Hippie’s beration; It’s not worth any lamentation; I give you a nod; (Note that I’m GOD) Only **I** can give dispensation! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/89 "1999-09-16T02:13:00Z")
In this case GOD and I shall agree, But with authority GOD’s a little too free. Nietzche’s wrong: GOD’s not dead, But **I** started this thread! And GOD’s just a grander aspect of **me**. ---
**Author:** ![GOD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/34f0e0/32.png) [@GOD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GOD)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/90 "1999-09-16T02:19:00Z")
It’s so human of you to insist “GOD’s all **mine** ” while pounding your fist. It’s my diagnosis I’m part of your psychosis: The **good** part, which you can’t resist! ---
**Author:** ![Pooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dbc845/32.png) [@Pooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pooch)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/91 "1999-09-16T03:05:00Z")
My limericks have received no praise while others use moldy cliches TennHippies are fine but mine are sublime I’ll be Limerick Laureate one of these days ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/92 "1999-09-16T03:52:00Z")
The thing about limericks, Pooch: One man’s poison is another’s hooch. If it was written yourself, Not pulled off a shelf, Then tell critics your ass they can smooch. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/93 "1999-09-16T04:00:00Z")
The trick to the limerick, mostly Is to make the words rhyme pretty closely. This example is bad But it’s all that I had And make sure the meter drums along consistently. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/94 "1999-09-16T04:08:00Z")
Before you respond with hot pique, Note tongue firmly planted in cheek. Sarcasm’s the factor; The limerick field’s tractor: Without it, your crop will be weak. ---
**Author:** ![No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/no_me_ayudes_compadre/32/5224_2.png) [@No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/95 "1999-09-16T04:34:00Z")
I appreciate all your support As I ponder TennHippie’s retort His quick answer, touche And he’s right, I must say Only guarding the limerick fort. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/96 "1999-09-16T04:58:00Z")
That’s more like it, Mariachi. You got the balls to play bocci. Now you’ll get toasted Instead of roasted On the BBQ Pit’s Hibachi. ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/97 "1999-09-16T05:10:00Z")
I put this off long as I could. A lim’rick thread was simply too good. I thought I’d pop in, And right out again, But I write when I should be in bud. G’night. ---
**Author:** ![No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/no_me_ayudes_compadre/32/5224_2.png) [@No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/98 "1999-09-16T05:13:00Z")
In the Pit I’ve never been flamed By Roasters I’ve never been named And that’s just as well They can all go to hell For my vitriol’s very well tamed. ---
**Author:** ![Pooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dbc845/32.png) [@Pooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pooch)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/99 "1999-09-16T06:02:00Z")
When I posted that I was due a review I was hoping a metric war would ensue I boasted I was better Rattled my metric saber and delivered a limerick kung fu ---
**Author:** ![okatym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/76d3ee/32.png) [@okatym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okatym)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 1999, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002/100 "1999-09-16T13:45:00Z")
Pooch, you want to compete With TennHippie for the number one seat. So hold back? You must never, And you have to be clever, And pack your poetry full of some meat. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limericks/8002.md?page=6)