# Limiting/flagging/forbidding post with content offensive to other members. **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 26, 2018, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854 "2018-05-26T13:27:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/41 "2018-05-27T01:13:30Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > We need a poll! [Your command is my wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=855546) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/42 "2018-05-27T01:14:34Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > That’s not good to know. But how would anybody know that from the responses in this thread, every one of which were about one person and one type of posts? > > And how can anybody discuss a possible solution if only one person and one type of posts keep being the only focus? > > If Morgenstern really wanted to expose a pervasive problem, he picked the worst way of going about it. No reasoned debate could emerge from it. > > Why don’t one of you start a new thread that lays out the actual situation and bring the rest of us up to speed so that a reasoned debate can start? Well, it seems everyone but you understood it. I don’t think the problem is the thread so much. Perhaps you should reread the OP. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/43 "2018-05-27T01:21:23Z")
Look, anything can be offensive to someone: there’s a thread about gorging on meat in a Brazilian restaurant- could well be offensive to hardcore vegans. A Christian “witnessing” could be offensive to our many atheists. One of our hardcore atheists mocking religion could be offensive to the faithful. A thread about atrocities in WW2 could be offensive to those with weak stomachs or perhaps those who had relatives impacted or those whose nations performed those atrocities. A thread about a members colonoscopy could be offensive. We have had threads where someone asks what to do about the raccoons in their backyard- and someone always suggest killing them- which I personally find a little offensive. And I am not saying those who find such things offensive- or the posts discussed here- are in any way wrong- they are not. Some of those things _are_ offensive, certainly. But once you start moderating or putting warnings, you run the risk of getting in trouble for not marking or doing something to a thread that on the surface, to a middle of the road reader- doesnt appear offensive (such as the carnivore gorging thread I mentioned- which made _me_ hungry, but that’s me. ) If you are a hard core vegan and find a discussion about gorging on meat to be offensive, you have my sympathies- but just hit the back button please. As long as the poster isnt deliberately going out of their way to try to be offensive, then I think we all just have to either hit the back button or maybe even report it. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/44 "2018-05-27T01:36:24Z")
Every one of your examples contain the words “could be offensive.” Yet 8 women are speaking with one voice in this thread and that voice is saying that they are offended by the threads. Do you see a difference here? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/45 "2018-05-27T01:41:32Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Every one of your examples contain the words “could be offensive.” > Yet 8 women are speaking with one voice in this thread and that voice is saying that they are offended by the threads. > > Do you see a difference here? I do not doubt they are offended. But do you think his goal was to offend posters? Knowing him as I do, I sincerely doubt that. So, why not PM him and tell him? Or hit “report this post”. Maybe that thread did cross a line and needs to be moderated. I am not a mod, not my call. But there’s no way to “limit/flag/forbid” content which could be offensive. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/46 "2018-05-27T01:43:56Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > I am sick and tired of being told that if I don’t want to be inadvertently involved in other people’s sex lives that I have to manage my entire existence to avoid what ought not to be a public spectacle in the first place. I’ve been hearing “Just put so-and-so on ignore” for _decades_ on various message boards, Usenet newsgroups, and listservs. This is the most concise rebuttal of that argument I’ve ever seen. “Ignore him” is great advice when a poster rubs you the wrong way because he confuses “its” and “it’s.” It doesn’t work so well if the offending behavior is a public nuisance. If a dog in my neighborhood barks all night, that’s a problem for everyone. The dog doesn’t magically disappear if I put in earplugs before I go to bed. I stopped opening Skald’s “hypothetical” threads years ago, after slamming into one of the little surprises he tucks into his stories. The experience reminded me of those movie scenes where someone opens a sack of money and a dye pack explodes. And I’m male, for what it’s worth. “Just ignore him” is the second cousin of “That’s just the way he is,” another bit of normalization I hope I never hear again. ---
**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/47 "2018-05-27T01:51:14Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > there’s a thread about gorging on meat in a Brazilian restaurant But is the thread content identifiable from the thread title, or is it about what to plant in your garden and halfway through the OP just starts talking about slabs and slabs of meat? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/48 "2018-05-27T02:04:22Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I do not doubt they are offended. But do you think his goal was to offend posters? Knowing him as I do, I sincerely doubt that. Is it the intent of his threads, or the result of his threads that matters? > [@DrDeth](#): > > So, why not PM him and tell him? Or hit “report this post”. Maybe that thread did cross a line and needs to be moderated. I am not a mod, not my call. > > But there’s no way to “limit/flag/forbid” content which could be offensive. Because they are tired of hearing “don’t worry honey, it’s not a big deal” in response to their concerns. (as in “just don’t open them,” or “just don’t peek”) ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/49 "2018-05-27T02:24:14Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I do not doubt they are offended. But do you think his goal was to offend posters? Knowing him as I do, I sincerely doubt that. Whether it was his intent or not isn’t relevant\*:“Oh, Uncle Bill doesn’t mean any _harm_ telling his off-colour stories. That’s just his way. Just ignore him if they bother you.” If Uncle Bill doesn’t know by now that his stories are offensive, and not just to women, the onus is on him to educate himself, not on others to ignore him. \*Personally, I think he knows exactly the response he gets, and revels in it. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/50 "2018-05-27T02:32:27Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Whether it was his intent or not isn’t relevant\*:“Oh, Uncle Bill doesn’t mean any _harm_ telling his off-colour stories. That’s just his way. Just ignore him if they bother you.” If Uncle Bill doesn’t know by now that his stories are offensive, and not just to women, the onus is on him to educate himself, not on others to ignore him. > > \*Personally, I think he knows exactly the response he gets, and revels in it. If you think he means to be offensive, then he is trolling and by all means report that post. By no means am I saying you dont have a right to be offended. Look, there’s a certain poster or two here on this board who are hardcore atheists, and revel in mocking religion and the faithful. They even start threads “JAQing” off with questions designed to be offensive to the faithful. Should we ban that behavior too? ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/51 "2018-05-27T02:38:42Z")
“It’s taking longer than we thought”, indeed. Jesus Christ. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/52 "2018-05-27T02:44:52Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > My objection to it is that I get the distinct impression that I’m being used to facilitate someone else wanking. I’m a grown ass woman, and a granny–I’ve had sex, had my adventurous moments and done some shit. I’ve also been raped way more times than I like to even think about, and a lot of it was done with a ton of gaslighting intended to make me normalize the behavior in my head. I do NOT wish to be involved involuntarily in another person’s sex life again no matter who they are or what they’re into. I don’t want surprise dick pics in my text messages. I do not want to see (yet again) some creepy bastard jerking off in his car pacing me in the next lane with the dome light on. And I really don’t want to be reading along and HEY PRESTO HUMILIATION AND DEGRADATION PORN!!! It’s nasty and slimy and I get flashbacks to way too many times when I got caught just like that but IRL. I like it less when a man does it, but if it was a woman posting the same shit I’d have an equal level of distaste for it. > > I am sick and tired of being told that if I don’t want to be inadvertently involved in other people’s sex lives that I have to manage my entire existence to avoid what ought not to be a public spectacle in the first place. I think it makes way more sense to tell the smaller group of exhibitionist jacks in the box to knock that shit off rather than expecting everyone ELSE to “get over it” or “ignore it” or be told “you have no right to be bothered by this, see, I think it’s fine and YOU’RE TOO SENSITIVE.” > > I have no problem discussing sex and sexuality and in fact have gotten a lot of “WTF did you really SAY that?” because I’m not shy about using my words and don’t quail at factually discussing the anatomy or psychology of sex. What I WILL NOT TOLERATE, however, is even the smallest whiff of someone engaging me on that level in order to satiate their own prurience. NO. I am not your fleshlight, fuck right off with that. > > This board has a problem of that nature, and as per usual The Menz are buzzing and swarming to assert their rights to say any nasty thing they like and if it bothers women that’s our problem and JUST IGNORE IT GAH. And if TPTB decide they want it that way, well, fine. But if you wonder why this place is such a sausage fest echo chamber, that’s a big reason why. We had to fight like madwomen just to be able to discuss shopping for bras without being constantly harassed about it and once that stricture was in place it definitely improved the experience of women posters. This is another Boobie-Gate. And it really ought to be settled. Brava. And the way this informative, well written, clear and concise post will be ignored and pooh-poohed by a cache of male posters is exactly one of the reasons I seldom come here anymore. If I want frat boy bro talk ‘It’s Ok honey - the men are talking, don’t worry your pretty little head.’ I can get that just about anywhere. But hey, why should the board care about female posters leaving in droves? I mean, advertisers love boards with dwindling numbers, right? ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/53 "2018-05-27T02:45:47Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > I’ve been hearing “Just put so-and-so on ignore” for _decades_ on various message boards, Usenet newsgroups, and listservs. This is the most concise rebuttal of that argument I’ve ever seen. > > “Ignore him” is great advice when a poster rubs you the wrong way because he confuses “its” and “it’s.” It doesn’t work so well if the offending behavior is a public nuisance. If a dog in my neighborhood barks all night, that’s a problem for everyone. The dog doesn’t magically disappear if I put in earplugs before I go to bed. > > I stopped opening Skald’s “hypothetical” threads years ago, after slamming into one of the little surprises he tucks into his stories. The experience reminded me of those movie scenes where someone opens a sack of money and a dye pack explodes. And I’m male, for what it’s worth. > > “Just ignore him” is the second cousin of “That’s just the way he is,” another bit of normalization I hope I never hear again. The thing is, unlike a dog barking all night, there is actually an audience that _desires_ to engage with Skald and his topics. Why should your desire to censor override others’ desire to engage? And unlike a barking dog and earplugs, the ignore tool on a forum actually works pretty well. Furthermore, judging from the language in the so-called pit from many of the complainers the outrage appears to be highly targeted, coordinated, and selective. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/54 "2018-05-27T02:57:25Z")
So you’re unable to \*engage \* unless the content includes totally gratuitous descriptions of abuse and dehumanization of women? That have ZERO to do with the thread or question being asked? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/55 "2018-05-27T02:57:47Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Because they are tired of hearing “don’t worry honey, it’s not a big deal” in response to their concerns. (as in “just don’t open them,” or “just don’t peek”) [:dubious:](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=830387) ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/56 "2018-05-27T03:08:49Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > So you’re unable to \*engage \* unless the content includes totally gratuitous descriptions of abuse and dehumanization of women? I hope that incorrect statement disguised as a question wasn’t aimed at me as I’m sure you’ve read that I don’t participate in those sort of threads as a general rule. It’s not that I find them exceedingly distasteful rather that I find that they just aren’t at all of interest to me. Secondly, there are a few subjects on the internet that even I have a hard time mustering the energy to deal with. And topics involving sexual violence are one of them. Now, there are times I stick my nose into crime and punishment aspect of sexual harassment such as the Roy Moore thread. But the sexual aspect is secondary in my mind and definitely not for prurient purposes. I even think the prison rape jokes that people make on these forums is sickening and I’ve probably voiced that here before. So if I don’t join in with mob violence and barbaric calls for prisoner rape why would I encourage stories of forcible female sexual degradation? I hope that answered your “question.” ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/57 "2018-05-27T03:19:47Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > I even think the prison rape jokes that people make on these forums is sickening and I’ve probably voiced that here before. So if I don’t join in with mob violence and barbaric calls for prisoner rape why would I encourage stories of forcible female sexual degradation? > > I hope that answered your “question.” Yet by telling the numerous women here who have stated how offensive it is, **especially in the context this poster does it** , to just “ignore it”, you are, in fact, condoning it. And dismissing us. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/58 "2018-05-27T03:30:15Z")
I don’t think this board wants to be all that welcoming to women. Which is a shame. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/59 "2018-05-27T03:31:40Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > Yet by telling the numerous women here who have stated how offensive it is, **especially in the context this poster does it** , to just “ignore it”, you are, in fact, condoning it. And dismissing us. Wrong. And wrong again. It’s a horrid leap of logic to suggest that the advocation of the employment of a tool to mitigate a subjective nuisance is a value statement of any sort. Furthermore, specifically addressing a concern with actionable advice is the antithesis of dismissal. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/60 "2018-05-27T03:37:01Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > [:dubious:](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=830387) Read the first page of the linked thread to see the other side of the OPs feelings and treatment of women. :dubious: indeed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854.md?page=4)