# Limiting/flagging/forbidding post with content offensive to other members. **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 26, 2018, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854 "2018-05-26T13:27:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/161 "2018-05-28T14:47:12Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Bias, racism, hate are not acceptable in any form. > > I had a friend about 20 years ago who got held up by a black man and forced to drive around for an afternoon while the guy did drug deals. He became a virulent racist after this. Is his racism acceptable because he had a bad experience with a black man? > > No, no it isn’t. On the other hand, if _every third black man he saw_ kidnapped him to chauffeur them, even\* I \*would say “Yeah, buddy, you go ahead and be a little bit racist. You, alone, have kind of earned it.” Unfortunately, for women, the patriarchy is more like the latter case than your friend. It’s not a one-off thing. Or so women tell me, don’t take my word for it. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/162 "2018-05-28T14:47:57Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > On the other hand, if _every third black man he saw_ kidnapped him, even\* I \*would say “Yeah, buddy, you go ahead and be a little bit racist. You, alone, have kind of earned it.” Sure, pal, women are being abducted by every third man they meet. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/163 "2018-05-28T14:55:25Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > … > > No. I’m not going to accept one form of bigotry and hate when I don’t believe that any form is acceptable. > > Tell me I will never understand? True. I’m not going to understand your hate. I’m not going to try. I don’t know your experiences or your thought process, so I’m never going to understand your situation. I just know that you’re asking me to tolerate your hate against me and all other men, and my answer is no. > > Tell me I’m tone deaf? Seems the shoe is on the other foot there. You’re insisting on throwing your hate in my face, you refuse to see it for what it is, and you’re tone deaf to anyone trying to point out that it is wrong. Especially men telling you it is wrong. > > Silence or support of this bigotry is wrong. Period. Wow. I see why so many women just throw up their hands and walk away. You think it’s a war. Anyway, whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/164 "2018-05-28T14:57:49Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Wow. I see why so many women just throw up their hands and walk away. You think it’s a war. Anyway, whatever. You went from displaying a lot of anger toward women a year ago to the far extreme of being the Eternal White Knight. I would suggest that neither looks good on you. ‘War’ is the word you used, for whatever bullshit is in your head reasons. It isn’t in my mind, words or thoughts. Wild exaggerations by you and MrDibble are not helping. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/165 "2018-05-28T15:00:02Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Sure, pal, women are being abducted by every third man they meet. :rolleyes: It’s OK to admit you don’t actually know how analogies work, **Chimera**. :rolleyes: right [back](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/a-third-of-male-university-students-say-they-would-rape-a-woman-if-there-no-were-no-consequences-9978052.html) atchya. And I’m not your pal, friend. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/166 "2018-05-28T15:06:38Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > It’s OK to admit you don’t actually know how analogies work, **Chimera**. :rolleyes: right [back](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/a-third-of-male-university-students-say-they-would-rape-a-woman-if-there-no-were-no-consequences-9978052.html) atchya. > > And I’m not your pal, friend. I don’t accept MRA/Incel bias against women. I don’t accept bias against men. Since there are consequences and one flawed study with **a sample size of 86** doesn’t prove a goddamned thing. Seriously? A sample of 86 kids in North Dakota and you’re throwing this out as proof of anything and an excuse for women to hate men? :dubious: That’s just fucking dumb. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/167 "2018-05-28T15:06:48Z")
Thank you to the Moderation Staff for taking this seriously and working on a solution. Prior to this I hadn’t read a Skald hypothetical in years because I found them tedious and boring. I have read a couple of them recently due to the controversy and those particular ones were gratuitously disgusting and at the very least bordering on misogyny. This is not the place for that. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/168 "2018-05-28T15:11:28Z")
Yes, I’ve tried to change. I thank this board for making me understand things like issues LGBT people face and then letting me share in their struggles. I tried to understand what it feels like to be told you ain’t getting a wedding cake because you’re a SS couple. I would feel pretty bad if that happened to me. The dismissive _“it’s just a cake”_ crowd doesn’t get that it isn’t just a cake, it’s about equality. Being dismissive never allows you to see their position through their eyes. No need fort a war here. Sure, I’ve laughed, like a jerk, at boob jokes because men train other men that da boobs are funny. I had no idea how women felt about men slobbering over their female specific threads, but I listened. And I tried to understand. If you listen long enough it becomes apparent that there is a problem and that you might be part of that problem, not the solution. Therein I’ve tried to accept that all people, white, black, male, female, young and old and everything in between have legitimate concerns about equality and fairness. SWJ, thank you. If I help making women feel more comfortable on this board, then I am happy. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/169 "2018-05-28T15:15:26Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Being dismissive never allows you to see their position through their eyes. No need fort a war here. This isn’t a war. It shouldn’t be a war. This is me saying that I don’t accept bigotry in any form and that means Misandry and anti-male bigotry, which we’ve seen displayed on this board even as those same people \*\*rightfully \*\*protest the misogyny they’re seeing from some posters… I’m sorry you don’t understand that and want to make my motives evil. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/170 "2018-05-28T15:15:31Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > And he tried to pull the same thing [in this thread.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=855622) And this one. [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=855621](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=855621) ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/171 "2018-05-28T15:17:17Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I don’t accept MRA/Incel bias against women. I don’t accept bias against men. False equivalency fallacy. > [@](#): > > Since there are consequences and one flawed study with **a sample size of 86** doesn’t prove a goddamned thing. Proves you don’t really have much of a science background, do you? I could spend all day digging up cites for the percentage of men who say they’ll rape, or say they[have](https://www.buzzfeed.com/alisonvingiano/a-group-of-south-african-men-explained-why-they-raped?utm_term=.jiMQgrJbXb#.wpDn8lmbVb) [raped](https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/09/130914-rape-asia-pacific-un-men-violence-women/). They’d all tell the same horrific story. But I can predict exactly what your response will be. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/172 "2018-05-28T15:26:53Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > … > > This is me saying that I don’t accept bigotry in any form and that means Misandry and anti-male bigotry, which we’ve seen displayed on this board even as those same people \*\*rightfully \*\*protest the misogyny they’re seeing from some posters… I’m sorry you don’t understand that and want to make my motives evil. But you do, and you are. I asked you to explain what women mean by dismissiveness, and you couldn’t, or wouldn’t. I’m afraid you still see this as a M vs F thing. It’s really not, and you don’t need to push it there. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/173 "2018-05-28T15:32:42Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > But you do, and you are. I asked you to explain what women mean by dismissiveness, and you couldn’t, or wouldn’t. I’m afraid you still see this as a M vs F thing. It’s really not, and you don’t need to push it there. I’m asking someone to explain WHY they believe I’m being dismissive and what specifically they can point to and you’re asking me to explain their thinking. I’ve said quite clearly that neither form of bigotry is acceptable. You’re trying to make it about me somehow being at war with women. Which is dismissive, divisive, distortion, incorrect and a personal attack directly at odds with what I’ve actually said. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/174 "2018-05-28T15:35:16Z")
I can’t discuss whether you are being dismissive unless we agree on what dismissive is. What do you think being dismissive is? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/175 "2018-05-28T15:36:27Z")
Pretty goddamned sad day on the dope when saying that no form of bigotry is acceptable results in two men insisting that one form is. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/176 "2018-05-28T15:42:05Z")
Do you feel that being told you are being dismissive is bigotry? What about being dismissive itself? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/177 "2018-05-28T15:44:39Z")
I see it as another iteration of the “it’s bigoted to not tolerate bigots” idiocy that pops up sometimes in racism threads, myself. See, it’s one thing if the women in that thread just came up with statements out of the blue - they don’t, they come up with them after they’ve been mansplained to, belittled and ignored. In that thread and for lifetimes before. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/178 "2018-05-28T15:53:51Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Pretty goddamned sad day on the dope when saying that no form of bigotry is acceptable results in two men insisting that one form is. We were talking about dismissiveness, not bigotry. You realize there is a difference, right? Please, define dismissiveness for me. This is the last time I will ask, so being dismissive might work for you here. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/179 "2018-05-28T15:54:11Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Chimera, would you answer the following question please? > > What does a woman mean when she says a man is being dismissive? In this context, she means “stop arguing”. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2018, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854/180 "2018-05-28T15:56:13Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > We were talking about dismissiveness, not bigotry. You realize there is a difference, right? Please, define dismissiveness for me. This is the last time I will ask, so being dismissive might work for you here. The person making the claim is responsible for defining or explaining why they believe the other person is acting that way, not the subject of the claim. But I expect you’re just being disingenuous with pushing for me to explain it when I’ve already explained this process to you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/limiting-flagging-forbidding-post-with-content-offensive-to-other-members/814854.md?page=10)