# Lindsay Lohan - HIRE A DRIVER ALREADY!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 24, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955 "2007-07-24T14:06:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/61 "2007-07-24T19:55:15Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] ActuaHe wasn’t only loaded, he was naked and he was throwing invisible rats out the window. [/QUOTE] Ah, man. I remember that batch. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/62 "2007-07-24T21:59:07Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] Dana Plato? [/QUOTE] She was doin’ worse than porn. She offered me a BJ for $500, and eventually came down to $20. This was in Vegas, shortly after her video store robbery infamy. I still passed. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/63 "2007-07-24T22:04:51Z")
[QUOTE=Gatopescado] She was doin’ worse than porn. She offered me a BJ for $500, and eventually came down to $20. This was in Vegas, shortly after her video store robbery infamy. I still passed. [/QUOTE] Seriously? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/64 "2007-07-24T22:52:28Z")
I wouldn’t consider Dana Plato a “famous mainstream actress” - she was a supporting child star on a popular TV series who got most of her press when she started blowing up her life. Jan-Michael Vincent was almost to starhood (though again, on the little box, not the big one) when he imploded - and he never went to porn. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/65 "2007-07-24T23:00:51Z")
[QUOTE=Gatopescado] She was doin’ worse than porn. She offered me a BJ for $500, and eventually came down to $20. This was in Vegas, shortly after her video store robbery infamy. I still passed. [/QUOTE] A steal! For $20 I’d take a blowjob from Conrad Bain. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/66 "2007-07-24T23:02:03Z")
I must say hers is one of the best DUI mug shots I’ve seen. She looks ragged but still beautiful (even with the blonde hair), only confused. And by “confused” I mean still loaded. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/67 "2007-07-24T23:40:00Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] Famous mainstream actresses NEVER end up doing hard core porn. [/QUOTE] Chlöe Sevigny - [The Brown Bunny](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330099/) Not a porn movie, but an on-screen, no illusions blow-job counts in my book. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/68 "2007-07-25T01:28:40Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] Dana Plato? [/QUOTE] Was Dana Plato really an A-list actress, though? She was a supporting character on a family comedy for a few years. Silenus, when people talk about acresses falling to hard core porn, they usually mean PORN, e.g. “Butt Fuck Sluts Go Nuts #41.” Unsimulated sex in legitimate movies isn’t quite the same thing, and isn’t necessarily indicative of an actress’s career falling apart - Chloe Sevigny is doing fine. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/69 "2007-07-25T01:50:24Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] A steal! For $20 I’d take a blowjob from Conrad Bain. [/QUOTE] Different Strokes-era Conrad Bain, or Conrad Bain today? What about Conrad Janis? 😉 Dana Plato was about as famous as the chick from the Urkel show who did actual hardcore porn. Who? exactly. And while I agree LL no matter how bad off would never _have_ to do porn, in her state she may do it while spaced out just for shits and giggles. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/70 "2007-07-25T01:54:26Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] Different Strokes-era Conrad Bain, or Conrad Bain today? What about Conrad Janis? 😉 [/QUOTE] For $20, you ain’t gettin’ no different strokes. You’re getting the usual stroke, and you better hurry your ass up and finish. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/71 "2007-07-25T02:22:25Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] And while I agree LL no matter how bad off would never _have_ to do porn, in her state she may do it while spaced out just for shits and giggles. [/QUOTE] Let’s keep our fingers crossed. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/72 "2007-07-25T02:45:11Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] I don’t know, man. Reports are that Jane Fonda sat her down for a good talking-to during the filming of the movie they shot together. How messed up is your life if it causes Jane Fonda, one of the ultimate '60s Party Girls, to do a double-take? [/QUOTE] Reportedly, Tina Fey had a “listen, young lady” talk with her when she did SNL. This must have been after they shot “Mean Girls”. I used to kind of think she was funny in a you-spoiled-white-trash way, but now it’s over the line. Driving drunk kills people. The mother of my grade 6-10 best friend was killed on her neighborhood fitness walk by the kid two doors from us. He was supposedly on something, but I don’t know what, probably because he was convicted as a juvenile. Lindsey has very high odds to spend a couple years in jail (actual years, not years of sentencing), or end up dead or maimed after she crashes her car even worse or pisses off a drug dealer. Did you hear how her bodyguard quit? He says: “In April she asked me to take her to her dealer in Beverly Hills. Suddenly she started screaming and punching him for selling her short. He pulled a gun. I got out and he threatened to shoot me unless I got her to back off — but she kept hitting him. I dragged Lindsay into the car and drove off but she was screaming at me to go back. I knew then she was just too dangerous to be around.” ---
**Author:** ![boggle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@boggle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boggle)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/73 "2007-07-25T04:14:44Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] Dana Plato was about as famous as the chick from the Urkel show who did actual hardcore porn. Who? exactly. [/QUOTE] NOT the lovely Laura? Say its not so! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/74 "2007-07-25T04:18:40Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] Dana Plato was about as famous as the chick from the Urkel show who did actual hardcore porn. Who? exactly. [/QUOTE] Dana Plato didn’t do hardcore porn. She was topless and kissing a woman. There was no dildo action or double penetration. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/75 "2007-07-25T04:39:03Z")
[QUOTE=boggle] NOT the lovely Laura? Say its not so! [/QUOTE] No, Jaimee Foxworth, “Judy”. A simple google search turned this up. Apparently her mother got too demanding, and Urkle was taking over the show anyway, and in one episode she went upstairs and was never mentioned again. I guess it’s kind of like Chuck Cunningham. Oh, and then her family got permission to plunder her $550k trust fund, and there you have it. Although why she would now be working for her mother after all that is beyond me. Man, I can’t believe I just researched this. I’ve never even seen a whole episode of that dumb show. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/76 "2007-07-25T06:30:27Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] A steal! For $20 I’d take a blowjob from Conrad Bain. [/QUOTE] Dress like a Leprechaun and say “Whachootalkinboutwillis” a few times and he might even do it for free. Or maybe I’ve just been watching too much _Robot Chicken_. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/77 "2007-07-25T06:58:23Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] A steal! For $20 I’d take a blowjob from Conrad Bain. [/QUOTE] Will you settle for [Max Wright?](http://www.bockscar.de/blog/index.php?/archives/565-What-ever-happened-to-Max-Wright.html) ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/78 "2007-07-25T13:30:47Z")
Everyone owes her an aplogy, it turns out, she’s innocent of these charges- her quote: “I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy,” ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/79 "2007-07-25T14:02:14Z")
I guess somebody else put that cocaine in her pants pocket without her knowledge–which, judging by the pictures I’ve seen of what she wears, would have been no mean feat. Bravo, Mystery Drug-Planter! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955/80 "2007-07-25T14:06:57Z")
[QUOTE=Geobabe] I guess somebody else put that cocaine in her pants pocket without her knowledge–which, judging by the pictures I’ve seen of what she wears, would have been no mean feat. Bravo, Mystery Drug-Planter! [/QUOTE] By all accounts, getting into her pants is a pretty simple feat. It’s leaving cocaine there that would be the challenge. 😛 [/cheap shot] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lindsay-lohan-hire-a-driver-already/412955.md?page=5)