# Lines to spoil a movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 20, 2008, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045 "2008-12-20T06:17:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/81 "2008-12-25T13:55:52Z")
**The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrope** –So why does he have 7 locks on this wardrope. It’s so old and creepy looking nobody would want to look in it. **House** –You know, I think little Greg is really neurotic. I’m gonna take him to a child therapist. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/82 "2008-12-26T05:54:03Z")
**Last of the Mohicans** - “I don’t know Chingachgook, that British regiment kinda asked for it hiring a Huron guide and walking through the woods on horses wearing red, lets walk around and continue on our hunt.” **The Unforgiven** - “The pigs are sick but I made a promise to your mother, I’ll stay here and help you separate the hogs.” ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/83 "2008-12-26T07:08:31Z")
Look, Othello, I just haven’t seen the hanky for a couple of days, OK? Ask the bloody maid if you’re that concerned about a missing snotrag. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/84 "2008-12-26T14:22:08Z")
> [@Scissorjack](#): > > Look, Othello, I just haven’t seen the hanky for a couple of days, OK? Ask the bloody maid if you’re that concerned about a missing snotrag. I have no idea how Cassio got it, why don’t you just ask him? ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/85 "2008-12-26T14:59:18Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Zulu: A few guys with Martini-Infields can kill a whole bunch of guys with spears and clubs if they have enough ammo. Inevitable Nitpick: They were Martini-Henry rifles. The Martini-Enfield came later. And some of the Zulu had guns. 🙂 **Jurassic Park** “No, I’m sorry, Dr. Hammond, I can’t come and visit your Tropical Island; my schedule is filled clear through March. Thanks for thinking of me, though.” **The Big Lebowski** “Fuck it, I can get another rug from the Op Shop.” **Apocalypse Now** “We were going to get you to go and find Colonel Kurz, but instead we’ve just decided to Napalm his compound out of existence. Take a couple of weeks off and we’ll call you when we’ve got something worthwhile for you to do.” **Boogie Nights** “You make films with naked people doing _what_ in them? That’s yucky! I don’t want to be involved in that!” **The Pink Panther** “Inspector Clouseu is a bumbling idiot. We’ll get someone competent to handle this.” **Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle** “Dude, there is no way we can drive anywhere like this. I’ll call us a taxi to take us straight there.” **I Am Legend** “I’m going to move to a self-sufficient cabin on an Island in the middle of a huge lake in the wilderness miles from anywhere, and that is completely inaccessible except either via boat or aircraft. Good luck seeing those creatures get anywhere near the place.” **Trainspotting** “Drugs are incredibly bad. I shan’t take them anymore.” **Bladerunner** “You know, I looked for those Replicants but couldn’t find any of them.” **The Mad Max Trilogy** “Why, in a world with no petrol, are we all driving V8 muscle cars through the Outback? Bugger it, I’m moving to some small Queensland beach resort and taking it easy.” ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/86 "2008-12-26T15:58:14Z")
**Harry Potter:** Whoa. Stop the bleedin’ presses right there, Hagrid. So you are saying that my parents left me a lot of money? The money you want me to spend in a posh public school where some sort of wizard Hitler will repeatedly attempt to kill me? Yeaaaaaah… You know what? Bugger that, I’m going to Disneyworld. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/87 "2008-12-26T21:16:50Z")
**Tarzan** “Would I go back to Africa to live with the chimpanzees, Sir? Good Lord, are you daft? I am an English Lord and by Gadfrey I shall act like one! If I go to Africa I will do so on a safari, and hang the chimps!” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/88 "2008-12-26T21:22:02Z")
**Fiddler on the Roof** –I’m really really mad. I’m going to kill everyone in some village. I’m throwing a dart at that map on the wall and it’s hit the tiny village of…Anatevka. That’s it, Anatevka, you are all history. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/89 "2008-12-26T21:22:56Z")
Ya know, we could probably _sell_ these old robots on Ebay instead of holding a Demolition Derby with 'em: I’ve heard collectors’ll pay heaps for these in good condition. Shit, this one’s practically mint. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/90 "2008-12-26T21:27:14Z")
**The Greatest Story Ever Told** and/or **The Phantom Menace** : Pregnant? PREGNANT? I never even had sex, goddammit. Get rid of that thing now. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/91 "2008-12-26T21:39:22Z")
_Dial M for Murder_: _::Ring!:: :💍:_ Margot: Screw that, I’m not gettin’ up to answer no freakin’ phone at this time of night. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/92 "2008-12-26T21:43:42Z")
[Come with me, Jesus, if you want to live!](http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8pUrsUORF4Y)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/93 "2008-12-26T22:11:37Z")
_The Great Train Robbery_ “Hey, look, robbers! Blast 'em before they even get on the train!” _Ordinary People_ “You’re all narcissistic, deeply troubled, emotionally-dead fuckups, and I don’t want to have anything to do with you. I’m outta here.” _Ruthless People_ “Honey, I know it seems like we hate each other’s guts, but I really think we ought to try marriage counseling.” _The Terminator_ “Sarah Connor?” “That’s me!” BLAM! _Camelot_ “Your Majesty, forgive me for saying so, but I’m afraid Sir Launcelot has been, um, inappropriately intimate with the Queen. You might want to have a word with him about that.” _2001: A Space Odyssey_ “Early tests indicate HAL 9000 has some serious psychological issues and should be taken offline for top-to-bottom reprogramming. I’m afraid we’re going to have to scrub the Jupiter mission.” ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/94 "2008-12-26T23:08:17Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > [Come with me, Jesus, if you want to live!](http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8pUrsUORF4Y)😃 Man, remember when they used to do damned good spoofs? Sigh. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/95 "2008-12-27T17:35:45Z")
**Apcocalypse Now** Cpt. Willard, opens draft letter, “Viet Nam? Fuck that! Pack the car honey, we’re off the Canada!” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/96 "2008-12-27T18:30:29Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > **Apcocalypse Now** > > Cpt. Willard, opens draft letter, “Viet Nam? Fuck that! Pack the car honey, we’re off the Canada!” I don’t think you can conscript a commissioned officer, seeing as how he’s already volunteered. But replace “draft letter” with “new orders”, and it works well enough.😃 /nitpick ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2008, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/97 "2008-12-28T04:23:22Z")
[Hugh Laurie] Look out behind you, Mr Caesar! [/HL] ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045/98 "2008-12-30T15:16:31Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > I don’t think you can conscript a commissioned officer, seeing as how he’s already volunteered. But replace “draft letter” with “new orders”, and it works well enough.😃 /nitpick You’re right! Haven’t seen it in a while…Thanks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-to-spoil-a-movie/478045.md?page=4)