# Lines You Hope Never To Read In a Children's Book

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-you-hope-never-to-read-in-a-childrens-book/68245>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 10, 2001, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-you-hope-never-to-read-in-a-childrens-book/68245 "2001-06-10T02:06:51Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 4

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-you-hope-never-to-read-in-a-childrens-book/68245/61 "2001-06-13T00:52:14Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \*  
> **Suicide is painless. (two points to whomever gets the reference for this one)**

Title of the theme song of MASH. Used in the movie, during the ‘Last Supper’ scene, in which the others try to convince ‘The Painless Pole’ that life’s worth living.

(That description DOES NOT do the scene justice…oh, well…)

And, on a related note:

‘Don’t worry, honey…it happens to all men once in a while…’

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2001, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-you-hope-never-to-read-in-a-childrens-book/68245/62 "2001-06-13T01:09:39Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Tengu \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \*  
> > **Suicide is painless. (two points to whomever gets the reference for this one)**
> 
> Title of the theme song of MASH. Used in the movie, during the ‘Last Supper’ scene, in which the others try to convince ‘The Painless Pole’ that life’s worth living.
> 
> (That description DOES NOT do the scene justice…oh, well…)
> 
> \*\*

Right you are on both accounts! (I’ll not comment on the third, however.) So, how do you want yer points? Over easy or scrambled?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2001, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-you-hope-never-to-read-in-a-childrens-book/68245/63 "2001-06-13T22:56:33Z")

</div>

“Be a good boy. Daddy loves you.” Billy said as he handed the baby over to the toddlers’ teacher. Billy looked at his watch, then picked up his pace. If he didn’t hurry, he’d be late for his 8th grade graduation practice.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-you-hope-never-to-read-in-a-childrens-book/68245/64 "2001-06-13T23:42:52Z")

</div>

“What do you want?”  
“Information. Information. Information”  
“You won’t get it!”

“Uncle Saddam will show you how to build a nuclear device…”

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-you-hope-never-to-read-in-a-childrens-book/68245.md?page=3)