# Lines you'd use if only the appropriate situation came up. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 2, 2007, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111 "2007-08-02T11:23:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/41 "2007-08-02T22:33:37Z")
In teaching, “GENTLY!” in a slight falsetto, whenever the kids start tripping over each other. (That’s Princess Bride, folks.) Any chance I get, “I say we take off, nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” (Aliens.) “Put. Ze candle. BECK!” Only, substitute whatever noun the nearby family member is messing with. (Young Frankenstein.) And only once have I pulled off the following, while driving: “Shit!” “What?” “Rollers.” “No.” “Yeah.” “Shit.” (Blues Brothers) And, again, only once have I managed to get someone (my brother) when he started with: “I have a headache.” “It might be a tumor.” (creepy little kid voice) And my beloved brother _looked_ at me, got it, and answered, “No, no, id’s nod a tumah.” (Kindergarten Cop) ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/42 "2007-08-02T22:38:40Z")
Whenever someone misidentifies something, I’m prone to say (in a Chinese accent) - “Not Fish,---- _ **Snake** _” Get it? ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/43 "2007-08-02T22:49:59Z")
[QUOTE=phouka] “Shit!” “What?” “Rollers.” “No.” “Yeah.” “Shit.” [/QUOTE] What makes that scene priceless is that Sam & Dave (“Soothe Me”) is doing a staccato two bar horn break during that scene. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2007, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/44 "2007-08-02T22:52:12Z")
I have to add that I’ve been pleased on several occasions to have someone in my presence utter, “Red snapper!” to which I must reply, “Very tasty!” If this happens around my coworker, it will inevitably lead to a series of other _UHF_ quotes and will end in tears. ---
**Author:** ![bathsheba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@bathsheba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bathsheba)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/45 "2007-08-03T09:57:44Z")
Once in my lifetime the moons were all correct and I got to use my saved line. It went like this; my car broke down and some young girly drove up behind and honked her horn. Continuously. So I got out of my car and said, “How about I hold that for you, while you fix my car?” I use, “Yes, yes it’s definitely a clipboard”, “A shitload? That’s a lot even for a fat bastard like you” but I am still waiting to use, “apparently we’re having a drink in some place called the raB”. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/46 "2007-08-03T10:06:04Z")
So, wait, the thing in _The Big Lebowski_ is actually a ferret? That’s what I thought at first, but I guess I assumed that the Dude is a better zoologist than me. _keeping this in mind if I ever see a ferret, now._ ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/47 "2007-08-03T10:09:15Z")
“Imagine a Twinkie 35 feet long and weighing approximately 600 pounds.” -Dr. Spengler (Harold Ramis), _Ghostbusters_ (1984) ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/48 "2007-08-03T11:16:20Z")
“Badges? We don’t need no steenkin’ badges!” I love saying that one when I get at a place of new employment. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/49 "2007-08-03T11:46:18Z")
“I’m a dangerous minded man on a ship loaded with hurt. Now why you got me chattin’ wit your peons?” -_Firefly ‘The Message’_ All I need now is a spaceship…or at least a row boat with a missile launcher. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/50 "2007-08-03T12:02:59Z")
I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless. - _Stewie Griffin_ ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/51 "2007-08-03T13:28:01Z")
[QUOTE=Kyla] So, wait, the thing in _The Big Lebowski_ is actually a ferret? That’s what I thought at first, but I guess I assumed that the Dude is a better zoologist than me. _keeping this in mind if I ever see a ferret, now._ [/QUOTE] Marmot: > **[ClarkVision Photograph - Marmot Portrait](https://clarkvision.com/galleries/gallery.marmots/web/c083101.02.28-600.marmot.html)** Ferret: [![](https://static.flickr.com/10/16346725_7011de3812_b.jpg) ](https://static.flickr.com/10/16346725_7011de3812_b.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/52 "2007-08-03T14:02:19Z")
Whenever anyone I know leaves on a mission [beer run, groceries, just going home], they’re all too often sent off with “Bye now! Good luck storming the castle!” ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/53 "2007-08-03T19:56:26Z")
[QUOTE=Quercus] Whenever anyone I know leaves on a mission [beer run, groceries, just going home], they’re all too often sent off with “Bye now! Good luck storming the castle!” [/QUOTE] I have a friend who does this all the time. [nitpick]The line is "Have fun storming the castle[/nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/54 "2007-08-03T20:04:45Z")
“Have her scrubbed and brought to my tent.” ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/55 "2007-08-03T20:19:07Z")
[QUOTE=phouka] And, again, only once have I managed to get someone (my brother) when he started with: “I have a headache.” “It might be a tumor.” (creepy little kid voice) And my beloved brother _looked_ at me, got it, and answered, “No, no, id’s nod a tumah.” (Kindergarten Cop) [/QUOTE] I use this quite often, in fact, almost anytime someone mentions having a tumor. I’ll say, “Id’s nod a tooma.” It usually provokes confusion, especially when it is, in fact, a tumor they are talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Yeeter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/96bed5/32.png) [@Yeeter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeeter)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/56 "2007-08-03T20:23:36Z")
“Hommina ha-wa” I tried to train my friend to reply with “Gee Dad, I didn’t know you spoke cherokee!” This is from Duckman. The set-up was that Duckman had said Hommina ha-wa and his buddy Cornfed said, “either you’re babbling incoherently, or you just said my testicles are many-colored in cherokee.” But mostly it just comes out as “Hommina ha-wa…” \ “We’re gonna need some more FBI guys.” -Die Hard. ---
**Author:** ![dannyness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b77776/32.png) [@dannyness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dannyness)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/57 "2007-08-03T20:33:12Z")
Just about every line of “Miller’s Crossing.” In particular: “Sister! When I’ve raised hell, you’ll _know_ it!” “I’m sick and tired of getting the high hat!” “Yeh fancy pants, all a yas.” Tom: Intimidating helpless women is part of what I do. Verna: Then find one and intimidate her. I’m a fella so I can’t forsee EVER getting to use this one. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/58 "2007-08-03T21:07:41Z")
[QUOTE=Triskadecamus] “. . . ah . . oooooo, A sparklie! I always wanted a sparklie of my very own.” From “The Secret of NIMN.” It’s rather surprising how often it comes up in daily life. Tris [/QUOTE] :eek: I used that _exact_ line a couple of months ago - for the 20th anniversery of first going out with my wife, I gave her a diamond ring (I never got her an engagement ring, she said at the time there were better uses for money). I said “ooooo, a sparklie!” and ever since then, that ring has been “the Sparklie”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/59 "2007-08-03T21:31:23Z")
“Shake it, madam. Capital knockers.” --Sideshow Bob halfheartedly trying to emulate a construction worker. “Kill him a lot.” Paul Reubens’s character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the movie. One that I do get to use often is Bud and Kelly Bundy’s unenthusiastic “Thanks, dad,” when dad’s done something I don’t care for. (I’m a grownup. He thinks it’s funny). ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2007, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111/60 "2007-08-03T21:38:22Z")
“The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.” “The Feds are so far up my ass I can taste Bryl Creem.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lines-youd-use-if-only-the-appropriate-situation-came-up/414111.md?page=4)