# Lions 3, Poachers 0 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2018, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343 "2018-07-05T19:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/1 "2018-07-05T19:56:00Z")
Three poachers hunting rhinos broke into a South African game preserve. They seemed to run into a pride of lions. _burp_ Three pairs of shoes and three pairs of gloves left, plus some rifles and a few bones. [Story here.](https://nypost.com/2018/07/05/lions-fatally-maul-poachers-who-broke-into-reserve-to-hunt-rhinos/) ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/2 "2018-07-05T20:02:36Z")
I’d like to think there are three poacher’s heads hanging on the trunk of a tree or on the wall of a cave somewhere. Or at least a set of tally marks. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/3 "2018-07-05T20:09:40Z")
In a perfect world, I would be sorry to hear this. Guy goes to the tailor and buys a suit. It doesn’t quite fit, so the guy asks the tailor how long to get it altered. “Two weeks”, says the tailor. “Two weeks? The Lord God made the whole universe in six days!” The tailor says, "Look at this suit. Look how nice the cuffs, and how the seams are straight, and how nice the pockets. Now come over to the window and TAKE A LOOK AT THIS PFOOIE WORLD!" Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/4 "2018-07-05T20:13:36Z")
I can’t help but cheer for the lions, under the circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/5 "2018-07-05T20:26:31Z")
I looked at the comments. For the first time, maybe ever, they were 100% positive. (Assuming you are a lion.) It is nice that something still brings us together. ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/6 "2018-07-05T20:28:34Z")
My passion is animal preservation. I can only hope that these were the same motherfuckers who poached a dehorned rhino for less that 1" of horn. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/7 "2018-07-05T21:11:15Z")
So wonderful to hear that these lions went to sleep with their bellies full! I hope their dinner didn’t cause any indigeston or heartburn. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/8 "2018-07-05T21:56:16Z")
A Righteous Kill. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/9 "2018-07-05T22:02:37Z")
I am also Team Lion. I suppose it would be a Bad Idea[sup]TM[/sup] to train them to hunt poachers? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/10 "2018-07-05T22:04:34Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > I am also Team Lion. I suppose it would be a Bad Idea[sup]TM[/sup] to train them to hunt poachers? Yeah, what do they practice on? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/11 "2018-07-05T22:09:49Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Yeah, what do they practice on? I’ve got a little list… ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/12 "2018-07-05T23:01:28Z")
I can’t help wondering if the cats played with their prey before they ate them. You know, batted them around, let them get a start on running away and then jumped on them, that sort of thing. What would Aslan do? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/13 "2018-07-05T23:03:57Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > What would Aslan do? Say Grace first? ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/14 "2018-07-05T23:11:17Z")
Turnabout is fair play. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/15 "2018-07-05T23:52:14Z")
Good. They had it coming to them. Maybe this will deter other would-be poachers. The owners should put up signs reading: \*\*WARNING! NO TRESPASSING! VIOLATORS WILL BE EATEN!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/16 "2018-07-05T23:59:10Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I’ve got a little list… They never will be missed! ---
**Author:** ![mind\_the\_gap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@mind\_the\_gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mind_the_gap)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/17 "2018-07-06T00:35:39Z")
Glad they got what was coming to them! Need to get those cats to help the girrafes also. Cochrane, your sign reminded me of a “Do Not Molest The Alligators” sign I saw in Florida. Then again, if someone was a bad enough mofo to molest an alligator, I’m not sure I’d make an issue of it! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/18 "2018-07-06T00:42:39Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I’ve got a little list… All poachers who seek contraband, and shoot 'em through the mist, I’ve got a little list; I’ve got a little list. If lions beat me to it and eat them, who’d be pissed? They never will be missed; they never will be missed…! ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/19 "2018-07-06T05:48:16Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Say Grace first? “Thank me for the blessings I am about to both give and receive.” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343/20 "2018-07-06T07:30:21Z")
Thanks to the OP and the responders. I was feeling a little guilty (not very guilty, just a little) for cheering for the lions. Now I’m not. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lions-3-poachers-0/817343.md?page=2)