# Lissa, a word, if I may **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 3, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223 "2006-05-03T13:09:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/41 "2006-05-04T01:37:20Z")
> [@stretch](#): > > I knew **Lissa** ’s husband worked in a prison. I also know that she has three dogs, has health issues, works in a museum, and is smart as a whip. Not because she is a one-trick pony on any of these issues, but because she posts in threads that interest me. You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me. I saw myself was flying way-way-way below the Doper Radar. (Never make the Pit or “Favorite Posters” lists.) I want to thank everyone for the kind things they have said about me. Getting Pitted is great! ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/42 "2006-05-04T01:46:05Z")
\*Very \*lame pitting. Now **Lissa** , tell us more of your husband’s fantastic adventures. Any particularly funny anecdote? Nobody ever escaped? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/43 "2006-05-04T01:56:09Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me. I don’t remember much about your life, but I sort of assign posters to “interesting” or “uninteresting” categories, and you’re interesting. I enjoy your posts, even if a day later I don’t know what you said. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/44 "2006-05-04T02:48:33Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me. I saw myself was flying way-way-way below the Doper Radar. (Never make the Pit or “Favorite Posters” lists.) The reason I know those things is because you are an excellent poster–you provide information about how you formed your opinion. Some posters like to just drop a line and run. Then I wonder how come I should give that opinion any weight. For example, if you comment on dog behaviour, you’ll let us know it’s from your experience with your own dogs and dog trainers you’ve worked with. I can give your opinion more weight than the poster who doesn’t offer a basis for their answer. Many of our posters, old and new, would not know that you have three dogs–Bean, Polaris, Sirius–or that you feel you did wrong by Bean by not socializing her properly when she was young\*. That’s why it’s great that you include background information for the newbies and the folks suffering from CRS\*\*. Keep up the good work! \*I’m not stalking you. I just happen to have a brain that retains tons of information that does me little good other than on this message board. 🙂 \*\*Can’t Remember Shit ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/45 "2006-05-04T03:11:58Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > \*Very \*lame pitting. > > Now **Lissa** , tell us more of your husband’s fantastic adventures. Any particularly funny anecdote? Nobody ever escaped? Oh, man, I gotta blue million anecdotes. After he retires, he intends to write a book. The prison he works in is a very laid-back place in which a serious fight is rare enough to warrant a middle-of-the-night call to inform him. For a person with the sense of absurd humor that he has, the place is like a sitcom. Only one person has escaped while he’s been there, and that was more of a walk-away-from-a-work-detail thing than a planned, elaborate escape. The guy wandered away and ended up down at Wal-Mart, calling all of his friends to try to get one to come pick him up, but all of them had sufficient sense to turn him down. He finally just sat down out front and waited for the police to spot him, which didn’t take long. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/46 "2006-05-04T03:25:45Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me. I saw myself was flying way-way-way below the Doper Radar. (Never make the Pit or “Favorite Posters” lists.) > > I want to thank everyone for the kind things they have said about me. Getting Pitted is great! I remember that you worked in a museum from the time we got in an argument about the looted museum in Baghdad. I’ve made it a point to read your posts since then. You’re cool in my book. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/47 "2006-05-04T03:39:43Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me. I saw myself was flying way-way-way below the Doper Radar. (Never make the Pit or “Favorite Posters” lists.) > > I want to thank everyone for the kind things they have said about me. Getting Pitted is great! I remember you because one of your dogs (Sirius, the little one) is very similar to my dog. **scr4** has one pretty close as well. You never know why somebody might remember you. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/48 "2006-05-04T04:43:23Z")
I didn’t know your husband worked in a prison, either. **Lissa** , you may not get singled out much, but please don’t think that you’re not noticed or appreciated. You are. Remember–with 7 years and 7 thousand posts, you can rest assured that when people say that the SDMB is the best place on the 'net, you’re a big part of the reason why. And I welcome information from anyone who has any particular knowledge or insight about our prison system. I’m very interested in the subject. I’d like to hear about it from any perspective. Now, why don’t you tell us what it’s like to be the wife of a prison guard: –Do you worry about his safety? –What constitutes an average “good day” and an average “bad day” at work for him? What sorts of things cause him to be really stressed out or in a bad mood at the end of the day? How does this affect you? –How do people react when they find out that he is a corrections officer? What assumptions do they make about him, about you, and about your marriage? –Do you and your husband socialize with his coworkers outside of work? –Does it make you feel good that your husband has a “tough guy” job instead of a wimpy job? –What kinds of things do you do to help and support him that are specific to his line of work? (For example, my husband is a middle school science teacher. He often uses me as a test subject when designing labs and lessons.\*) Thanks. - It’s true that lying on a bed of nails won’t cause puncture wounds. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt like a mofo! Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/49 "2006-05-04T05:17:58Z")
**Lissa** , how DOES one get a job in a museum? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/50 "2006-05-04T05:41:03Z")
Well, I DID know, **Lissa** , that your husband is a deputy warden of a prison, because I recall your spirited defense of a minority opinion in a crime/prison-related Pit thread a while ago, and how you drew upon your understanding of your husband’s experiences to back up your points. Well-argued points they were, too, and you used citations to him intelligently, not as just “Hubby says.” You aren’t jotted down in my book as a one-trick pony by any means. You ARE noted as someone who always composes well-written, well-considered posts. (Jeepers, I hope people are as nice to me when I finally tick someone off enough to get pitted.) ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/51 "2006-05-04T05:51:07Z")
Hey, I get it, lame pitting. Lissa, I apologise if you think I was flaming you, as that wasn’t my intent. I hope you can tell, from the OP, that I did know who you are, and I wasn’t picking on anything except that one little niggle. This was not an attack on your personality. Like everyone else here, I think you often post interesting stuff, and I certainly don’t think you’re a one-trick pony. It was just the phrase, in that thread, that made me realise that that’s how I’d gotten to thinking about you, and I wanted to point it out. Sorry again for the lame-o pitting, especially if it really offended you, but even if you just laughed it off. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/52 "2006-05-04T06:17:29Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > In that vein, I now adress questions from **Seven** that I did not notice until now. (With apologies.) > > About seven years. He currently works in medium security, but he also worked in a SuperMax for a while. > > He works with all types of inmates, really. He has guys in there for murder as well as guys in there for fraud. Inmates are classified by security risk in the state system, (as opposed to federal) not by their crime. SuperMax is different. You only go to SuperMax if you commit a violent crime while in prison, or are deemed to be a security threat, like a super notorious criminal, or member of a violent, powerful group. > > He was the investigator for the prison for a few years, so, yeah, he did check cakes sometimes . . . snack cakes mailed into inmates sometimes contain drugs. He got to do a lot of really cool detective-stuff, go on house raids, be in a high-speed car chase, do interrogations, use lie detectors, as well as examine and gather clues from crime scenes. Man, has he got some awesome stories. > > But, no, he wouldn’t eat the cake. He’s described some of the houses he’s busted for trying to smuggle in contraband to inmates. You wouldn’t want to eat stuff that came out of those kitchens. > > Well, realize that the average inmate isn’t in there because he’s a genius. Usually, escape plans consist of, “Hey, I bet if I ran right now, I could climb that fence. That razor wire doesn’t look\* that\* sharp.” > > Most of Hubby’s investigations were extremely simple to solve. All he and his partner had to do was outwit someone who wasn’t all that bright.\* > > But there have been some really clever ideas the inmates have had. It’s not usually to escape-- that’s pretty rare-- but plans to smuggle things in or out, making contraband\*\* and things like that. Some of them are brilliant manipulators. Blah-blah-blah. My husband works in a prison. Blah-blah-blah. I’m just kidding (OP and all). I’ve always thought working in a prison would be damn interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/53 "2006-05-04T12:24:22Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > –Do you worry about his safety? I do, but just like the wife of a cop, you’ve just got to kiss him goodbye in the morning and hope for the best. He’s not usually on the “front lines”, so to speak. He’s in the administrative buildings most of the time, but he has been in a few fights, and once, if a co-worker hadn’t tackled a guy who was holding a huge metal box above his head in a fight, his skull would have been crushed. He considers all the guards and other staff to be “his people.” If an alarm goes off, he rushes to see if he can be of assistance. His hero is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, so that tells you something. > [@](#): > > What constitutes an average “good day” and an average “bad day” at work for him? What sorts of things cause him to be really stressed out or in a bad mood at the end of the day? How does this affect you? Most of his problems are personnel conflicts-- squabbles amongst the staff. He’s always joked that if it were just him and the inmates, his job would be cake. > [@](#): > > How do people react when they find out that he is a corrections officer? What assumptions do they make about him, about you, and about your marriage? Again, he’s not an officer. He’s deputy warden. People usually react the way you did-- with lots of questions. As for our marriage, they probably assume the worst, because the divorce rate in his insititution is massive. > [@](#): > > Do you and your husband socialize with his coworkers outside of work? Yes we do, when we can’t make excuses any more. 😉 I’m a pretty anti-social person, so we only go out infrequently, and when we do, it’s usually with co-workers of his. > [@](#): > > Does it make you feel good that your husband has a “tough guy” job instead of a wimpy job? No. Honestly, I’d rather he taught fulll-time. It’s his true calling. > [@](#): > > What kinds of things do you do to help and support him that are specific to his line of work? (For example, my husband is a middle school science teacher. He often uses me as a test subject when designing labs and lessons.\*) I give him as much advice as I can, and often, help him plan various events with the inmates and things with the staff. It’s often good to get the viewpoint of an outsider, because I may think of things he missed, or be able to give him another perspective. As to how I got my job in the museum, I began as a volunteer, and a year later, they hired me as staff. The museum field is one of the last where experience often means more than education. We once had an intern with a master’s degree who lamented that she couldn’t get a job like mine (cleaning artifacts, leading tours, etc.) because no one would hire someone who didn’t have any experience, no matter how well-educated. I’m going to be gone for the next four days, so don’t think I’m ignoring you guys. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/54 "2006-05-04T12:40:37Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I remember that you worked in a museum from the time we got in an argument about the looted museum in Baghdad. I’ve made it a point to read your posts since then. You’re cool in my book. And that, friends, is how I measure success: not if those who _agree_ with me like me, but rather if I have the respect of those who hold diffrerent views. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/55 "2006-05-04T14:15:11Z")
Well if this thread won’t warm your cockles, I’m not sure what will. This place really works. It corrects injustices and gives credit where it’s rightly due. At first I was annoyed by the inanity of the OP but it would now appear dopers have managed to craft some good from it. What a crew. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/56 "2006-05-04T15:55:04Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Well if this thread won’t warm your cockles, I’m not sure what will. This place really works. It corrects injustices and gives credit where it’s rightly due. At first I was annoyed by the inanity of the OP but it would now appear dopers have managed to craft some good from it. What a crew. Fuck you, that’s why! Oh, wait. Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/57 "2006-05-04T18:38:12Z")
Why doesn’t someone open a thread in IMHO and see if we can reach a consensus about when and how often it’s appropriate to cite what’s behind one’s knowledge in various forums? Obviously GD would be more stringent than MPSIMs, but I suspect the BBQ Pit would be close. I’d do it myself, but I wouldn’t be able to give it much attention until Monday at the earliest. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/58 "2006-05-04T19:14:48Z")
You know, this is the first Pit thread that’s ever given me warm and fuzzies upon reading it. :dubious: 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/59 "2006-05-04T21:41:10Z")
OK, I have a solution that _should_ make **MrDibble** happier while satisfying the need to identify **Lissa** ’s credentials when invoking her husband’s experience. Whenever **Lissa** is about to say “My husband the assistant warden at a correctional facility who also teaches sociology and criminology courses at the university level…” she should simply substitue the hyperlinked “My [husband](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7359645#post7359645)…” or, perhaps, “[My](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7359645#post7359645)[husband](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7359972#post7359972)…” and all should be well. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223/60 "2006-05-04T21:47:45Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > Why doesn’t someone open a thread in IMHO and see if we can reach a consensus about when and how often it’s appropriate to cite what’s behind one’s knowledge in various forums? I have always thought that “My post is my cite,” is quite sufficient. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissa-a-word-if-i-may/355223.md?page=4)