# Lissner, This Pit Is For You.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [December 24, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395 "2009-12-24T00:08:28Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/101 "2009-12-24T19:25:03Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#):
>
> Hey! Lissener had to fight his way _out_ of that closet, don’t you fucking _dare_ close the door again!
Open it, close it… just don’t leave it half open!!!
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### Author:  [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/102 "2009-12-24T19:37:25Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#):
>
> If you get a cat, one of the things you give up is the chance to have pets that the cat considers prey. If you have pets that cats normally consider to be prey, one of the things you give up is the chance to have a cat. I might like to have a fish tank, but I don’t, because I know the cats couldn’t be trusted to leave it alone. You can’t always have everything you want.
I don’t agree totally–I’ve successfully kept rats, dwarf hamsters, and fish in my house with the cats. In all cases, you have to make some reasonable accommodations–the rat cages were shelved in such a way that the cats couldn’t get at the cage to paw at it (essentially, I have these shelving units that are like very deep bookshelves, and I have a rat cage that fits exactly one of the niches, so the top and sides are covered by the shelf material and there wasn’t enough room in front of the cage for a cat to sit) and the hamster tank and fishtanks both had latching top covers.
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### Author:  [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/103 "2009-12-24T19:46:46Z")
> [@Zeriel](#):
>
> I don’t agree totally–I’ve successfully kept rats, dwarf hamsters, and fish in my house with the cats. In all cases, you have to make some reasonable accommodations–the rat cages were shelved in such a way that the cats couldn’t get at the cage to paw at it (essentially, I have these shelving units that are like very deep bookshelves, and I have a rat cage that fits exactly one of the niches, so the top and sides are covered by the shelf material and there wasn’t enough room in front of the cage for a cat to sit) and the hamster tank and fishtanks both had latching top covers.
You can have pets that want to eat each other _if you make some sort of reasonable accommodations_. If you can’t or won’t make those kind of accommodations, though, then you shouldn’t have pets that might want to eat each other.
Cats are predators. They’re going to try to kill or eat some other animals. Having a cat and animals that the cat considers prey, then complaining when the cat tries to eat the other animals, is like complaining that water is wet.
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### Author:  [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/104 "2009-12-24T19:54:03Z")
Some cats aren’t predators. My ex had a hamster that his cat was scared of… although she did make some throaty meows at the birds outside. I think the point is that when you see a cat actively trying to get to other animals, but do absolute nothing to stop it, then it’s all on you. Cats do what they do and inappropriate behaviors have to be taught that they’re inappropriate. That, or you make arrangements to ensure that both animals are happy and safe.
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### Author:  [@Stowed\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stowed_Bob)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/105 "2009-12-24T19:57:10Z")
On the bright side, winter is a hard time for predators and scavengers. If the cat can’t hack it, it will nourish the local ecosystem in a way putting it to sleep or cremating it wouldn’t.
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### Author:  [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/106 "2009-12-24T19:57:47Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#):
>
> You can have pets that want to eat each other _if you make some sort of reasonable accommodations_. If you can’t or won’t make those kind of accommodations, though, then you shouldn’t have pets that might want to eat each other.
>
> Cats are predators. They’re going to try to kill or eat some other animals. Having a cat and animals that the cat considers prey, then complaining when the cat tries to eat the other animals, is like complaining that water is wet.
Yeah, exactly what you said.
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### Author:  [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/107 "2009-12-24T20:26:03Z")
[ ](https://farm1.static.flickr.com/25/42202640_651c340a58.jpg?v=0)
_**MEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOW!!! LISSNER, THIS IS THE GHOST OF KITTY PAST, GLADYS THE CAT!!! LOOK UPON ME, YOU HEARTLESS FUCK! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOW!!! I didn’t know your stupid drawing was so important . . .I thought it was a cat toy!!! I didn’t mean to piss all over your stuff . . . . you weren’t paying enough attention to me and were too busy with your failing art career!!! I didn’t mean to be nasty to the little kitten . . . .its just almost every cat expert will tell you solo cats hate when you introduce a cat to the household!!! Why did I kill those snakelets??? Maybe to teach you not to capture wild animals and keep them in captivity!!! I was just doing what fucking cats dooo!!! Like catching and killing all those mice you had in your rat infested home!!! MEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!! But that’s OKAY Lissner, I hope you enjoyed your home cooked meal while I froze to death and then was picked apart by vultures!!! Now, I am here to haaaaaunt you and make sure you remember what you did every year!!! MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS, DICKWAD!!! (By the way, those socks you worse to your brother’s wedding? I PISSED ALL OVER THEM, TOO!) MEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!**_
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/108 "2009-12-24T20:51:46Z")
Great. Now lissener can be visited by ghost of asshole past (Jack Handy), asshole present (Curtis LeMay) and asshole future (himself?)
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### Author:  [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/109 "2009-12-24T21:18:48Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#):
>
> How is a “shake can” useful for animal training? That is, unless it’s something other than what I’m thinking of…
Can of mace?
1. Shake can
2. Spray
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### Author:  [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/110 "2009-12-24T21:39:35Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#):
>
> Great. Now lissener can be visited by ghost of asshole past (Jack Handy), asshole present (Curtis LeMay) and asshole future (himself?)
Asshole Present is most definitely not Curtis. He is just young, ignorant and zealous.
If you want Asshole Present, our very own Kimberly ( 😉 ) has already shown his or her assholishness in this very thread and countless past threads.
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### Author:  [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/111 "2009-12-25T03:07:29Z")
> [@St.Anger](#):
>
> …
I don’t think this was as funny as you hoped it might be, but your effort is A+.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/112 "2009-12-25T04:07:17Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#):
>
> Can of mace?
>
> 1. Shake can
> 2. Spray
That wouldn’t work for my cats. Annie, the one we’re trying to keep from climbing the tree, LOVES noise. She’s constantly trying to make the dog bark. She loves it when you run the sweeper, believe it or not. She’d be in feline heaven.
(We tried squirting her in the face. Nope. Plus, we don’t want to squirt the tree, what with the lights and all. Damned cat)
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### Author:  [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/113 "2009-12-25T04:30:16Z")
It doesn’t say anywhere that he later found the corpse of this cat. C’mon- sooner or later the snow melts, and a cursory examination will reveal if kitty froze on the spot or not. My guess is kitty found somewhere else to go. Things obviously were not working out after all.
ETA: After all, euthanasia really is a 100% death rate.
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### Author:  [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/114 "2009-12-25T05:06:55Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#):
>
> It doesn’t say anywhere that he later found the corpse of this cat. C’mon- sooner or later the snow melts, and a cursory examination will reveal if kitty froze on the spot or not. My guess is kitty found somewhere else to go. Things obviously were not working out after all.
>
> ETA: After all, euthanasia really is a 100% death rate.
Euthanasia might be, but going to a shelter isn’t. And even though people aren’t exactly falling over one another in a rush to adopt cats I think it’s more likely that a shelter cat will find a home than a house cat tossed out into the snow. Sure some strays get adopted, one of my cats was a stray, but most die and they die a lot worse than euthanasia.
Do you really think he’d just find the cat’s frozen body by the backdoor when the snow melted? The animal isn’t just going to sit in the same place till it dies.
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### Author:  [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/115 "2009-12-25T05:26:03Z")
> [@Terraplane](#):
>
> Euthanasia might be, but going to a shelter isn’t. And even though people aren’t exactly falling over one another in a rush to adopt cats I think it’s more likely that a shelter cat will find a home than a house cat tossed out into the snow. Sure some strays get adopted, one of my cats was a stray, but most die and they die a lot worse than euthanasia.
>
> Do you really think he’d just find the cat’s frozen body by the backdoor when the snow melted? The animal isn’t just going to sit in the same place till it dies.
Lissener can’t even find his own very valuable possessions in his own apartment. What makes anyone think he would find a cat carcass outside? Who knows–maybe that sneaky little cat found her way back in only to be crushed under piles of shit that he had shoveled out years later.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/116 "2009-12-25T05:33:05Z")
> [@Grapefruit](#):
>
> Some cats aren’t predators. My ex had a hamster that his cat was scared of… although she did make some throaty meows at the birds outside. I think the point is that when you see a cat actively trying to get to other animals, but do absolute nothing to stop it, then it’s all on you. Cats do what they do and inappropriate behaviors have to be taught that they’re inappropriate. That, or you make arrangements to ensure that both animals are happy and safe.
Yeah. **lissener** seemed to think the cat was doing it out of a sense of evil or being mean. It seems like a mistake to take it personally. Yeah, it’s sad to come home to dead animals, but I doubt the cat was trying to be all sinister. I don’t think it’s a good idea to own an animal if you’re going to treat it as a little person.
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### Author:  [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/117 "2009-12-25T08:20:08Z")
> [@bbs2k](#):
>
> I don’t think this was as funny as you hoped it might be, but your effort is A+.
Yeah, there’s only such mileage you can get out of a Christmas Carol parody, but thanks for the kind words.
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### Author:  [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/118 "2009-12-25T09:00:27Z")
Sounds like he threw a cat outside for being a menace and the cat disappeared. If the story included a tale of the cat freezing to death trying to claw its way back in I might feel differently on this one.
**Lissner** may not be winning any awards for nice guy of the year on the ground he said he didn’t care what happened to the cat but I don’t think he deserves the cat murdering sociopath award this threads trying to give him either.
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### Author:  [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/119 "2009-12-25T10:03:19Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#):
>
> Sounds like he threw a cat outside for being a menace and the cat disappeared. If the story included a tale of the cat freezing to death trying to claw its way back in I might feel differently on this one.
>
> **Lissner** may not be winning any awards for nice guy of the year on the ground he said he didn’t care what happened to the cat but I don’t think he deserves the cat murdering sociopath award this threads trying to give him either.
In any realistic scenario it’s not going to try to claw its way back in but if that’s the evidence you need to decide the outcome of his actions I guess things might look nice and rosy. In most realistic scenarios it’s going to either starve or freeze to death. Or, I suppose, get eaten by the raccoon **lissener** mentioned. You really think a tame house cat tossed out in the middle of winter is going to do ok? Odds are pretty fucking good he killed the cat.
Also, before you call the cat a menace, consider the cat’s position. It lived with a person that tends toward squalor. He won’t even clean his own house when it’s buried in garbage, what do you think the litter box looked like?
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### Author:  [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lissner-this-pit-is-for-you/522395/120 "2009-12-25T18:32:00Z")
Well, if it was promptly eaten by the raccoon in the yard I think you’d find cat bits right there. A head, some bones, you know.
Merry X-mas everyone! 🙂
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