# List of nonsensical things that house cats do **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 6, 2015, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171 "2015-09-06T12:50:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/1 "2015-09-06T12:50:25Z")
Feel free to add to this list! It needs to be something that most cats do, not something only one cat does, and it needs to make little sense to humans 1. They will let you pet them all day with your hand. But if you use a foot, no matter how gentle, the cat immediately bites and scratches it 2. You can put some baked chicken breast into their bowl, cut into pieces, and the cat just sniffs and walks away. But if you tantalize the cat with the meat, tearing it into very small strips by hand, the cat will eat it 3. Once you start running a tap for a cat to drink from, they refuse to drink from any other source. Nothing but the best for Mr. Purrpants. Also, they only drink if the tap is trickling, not flowing rapidly 4. Do you want kitty to snuggle when you go to bed? Grab kitty and try to hold it while you relax. Kitty will wait until your hands go limp and make a break for it. However, if you just go to bed on your own, kitty will hop up and make a nest at your head or feet. 5. You can pet kitty, and they will roll over and expose belly. It’s a trap! Don’t even try it. 6. Cats will just get up and start meowing. They have food? Yep. Water? Yep. Catbox? It’s clean. You let them outside? They come right back in. What’s the problem, kitty? You will never know. 7. Kitty will meow to be let outside when it is raining. Yet, if you open the door, cat will step outside for an instant, then head right back in. 10 minutes later, meowing again to be released. 8. If you pet kitty, after a certain number of pets, the kitty has hit a petting limit and will try to escape. But if you just hold kitty without petting, the kitty may stay for half an hour. 9. Purring kitty can be restarted when the purring stops by petting it just once. Why? No one knows. 10. Tail straight up? Happy to see you. Tail down? Moving or scared. Tail flicking? Angry/warn. Tail gently curling back and forth while being petted? You will never know. 11. Stroke kitty under neck? Kitty loves it. “Help” kitty purr louder by pressing down on chest when the kitty is exhaling? Kitty is totally ok with it. Touch kitty’s belly? Watch it buddy, you’re about to lose a hand. 12. Despite evolving in an environment before humans, kitties know how to open doors with their claws. I’ve seen numerous kitties do this. 13. If you punish kitty for something like getting in a spot you don’t want them to go, kitty will avoid going there…but only if you are looking at it. Otherwise, it’s open season. Got any more? ---
**Author:** ![Plumpudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Plumpudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plumpudding)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/2 "2015-09-06T17:28:04Z")
Now this is a HOUSE cat, because of a protein allergy. If he eats anything other than special dry food he gets open sores. We have to catch bugs and moths before he does and throw them out. - He’ll very loudly running back and forth for no seeming purpose. It sounds like Monty Python horses. - He’ll lick plastic bags. He loves plastic bags. - He sometimes pretends to be a bread. - He tries to scratch you from on top of the shower cabinet. - He will open your luggage. - He will steal your clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/3 "2015-09-06T17:30:19Z")
1. Other kitty’s food is better. It’s the same food, but it’s better. 2. Kitty MUST!!! be in the bathroom with human if human sits for more than 30 seconds. 15b. Kitty MUST!!! see what’s going on outside the bathroom by sitting in the doorway while human leans forward holding the door. 3. All boxes are for kitties. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/4 "2015-09-06T17:41:28Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > 1. You can pet kitty, and they will roll over and expose belly. It’s a trap! Don’t even try it. All of our cats _ **love** _ to have their bellies scratched. Well, we started on this when they were kittens so there’s that. Cats don’t like to be touched while eating. Our cats don’t mind it. See previous paragraph. On the other hand, … When a cat is upset with you, it will turn it’s back on you and ignore you, until you grovel sufficiently. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/5 "2015-09-06T17:49:08Z")
Our black kitties prefer to lie on other items that are black. Cats sound like they’ve dropped an elephant off an armoire when they jump off a table or couch. Silent and stealthy my arse. Cats rampage loudly through the house at 2am. Because. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/6 "2015-09-06T18:02:44Z")
My cat demands to be petted while she eats. She will sit by her full bowl of food and yell at me until I pet her. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Angry\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b38774/32.png) [@The\_Angry\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Angry_Badger)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/7 "2015-09-06T18:05:49Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > 1. All boxes are for kitties. Or indeed any open container. One of ours loves shopping day - we use the reusable bags and he’ll jump in one as soon as it’s empty. Sometimes he doesn’t even wait for that. Similarly, our laundry basket is fair game on laundry day. I wouldn’t mind, but playful kitty claws are starting to take their toll on the basket. To follow on from that: 1. Purpose-bought toys, scratching posts and baskets are never as good as the random people stuff that can be repurposed for kitty use. Eg, why bother with a specially designed scratching post when the carpet is _right there_? 2. Once used to the idea that treats come out of small plastic bags, cats can be conditioned to believing that anything that comes out of a small, crinkly bag is a treat and therefore delicious. Two of our cats go nuts for the small sample sized bags of what is otherwise perfectly ordinary kibble. 3. They will suddenly and completely go off the exact type and flavour of cat food that they couldn’t get enough of yesterday. Usually just after you’ve bought a decent stock of it. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/8 "2015-09-06T18:12:52Z")
Cats will gravitate to the visitor to your home who likes cats the least. Cats want to be between you and whatever you are looking at so obsessively - monitor, newspaper, book. Corollary - keyboards are a perfectly acceptable place to lie down. Top of monitor distant second. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/9 "2015-09-06T18:29:53Z")
My cat loves to be petted and wants me to pet him a lot. Until suddenly, he doesn’t want that anymore, and he lets me know by biting me. With no warning. ---
**Author:** ![yawuntz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a5b964/32.png) [@yawuntz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yawuntz)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/10 "2015-09-06T18:49:22Z")
[QUOTE=The Angry Badger] …19. They will suddenly and completely go off the exact type and flavour of cat food that they couldn’t get enough of yesterday. Usually just after you’ve bought a decent stock of it. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] If you persist in presenting them with that newly-eschewed food, they will pantomime that they are burying it. Which more sensical than non- come to think of it. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/11 "2015-09-06T19:43:56Z")
All cats, no matter which room they are in, MUST BE IN THE OTHER ROOM IMMEDIATELY, because cats. No matter how many times the cat has seen and heard your guitar (or insert other item), it is still the most terrifying thing to ever enter the house. One strum will cause pitiful meowing and frantic running from room to room. :rolleyes: A cardboard box or paper bag is the ultimate toy and takes precedence over all those fun! toys you bought at exorbitant prices. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/12 "2015-09-06T20:20:26Z")
> [@ddsun](#): > > Cats will gravitate to the visitor to your home who likes cats the least. That’s actually sensical. Humans are big on direct eye contact. Cats not so much. So a person who looks a lot at a cat is seen as threatening. While someone who only glances once in a while is seen as friendly. Ditto with trying to get the cat’s attention by motion and voice. One common oddity of our cats: They frequently come by for pets, but just an inch out of arms reach. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/13 "2015-09-06T20:30:07Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > That’s actually sensical. Humans are big on direct eye contact. Cats not so much. So a person who looks a lot at a cat is seen as threatening. While someone who only glances once in a while is seen as friendly. Ditto with trying to get the cat’s attention by motion and voice. > > One common oddity of our cats: They frequently come by for pets, but just an inch out of arms reach. Yesterday it was the visitor who said, “go away!” And made hissing noises. My cats will BE FRIENDS with everyone. :rolleyes: Another rule: cats will get into your lap milliseconds before you are planning to stand up. I think they sense electrical impulses traveling to the leg muscles or something. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/14 "2015-09-06T21:54:27Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > All cats, no matter which room they are in, MUST BE IN THE OTHER ROOM IMMEDIATELY, because cats. Cats, being manifestations of various quantum physics phenomena, can be in as many places simultaneously as they wish. [We’ve discussed this before.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=17857868#post17857868) > [@Cat Physics](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cat-physics/702969/8): > > Cats are nothing more than a macroscopic collection of interacting quantum systems (or particles). However, cats have developed a rather fine degree of control over the probabilities of their various superposed states. > > Take for example the above post by **MLS** about the cat that suddenly appeared. Actually, that is just a quantum tunneling effect that could happen to any cat, any time, anywhere, but only with (normally) very low probability. What the cat seems able to do is alter the probability density functions to make this much more probable, and therefore it will actually happen more often. ---
**Author:** ![HeXen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@HeXen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeXen)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/15 "2015-09-06T22:11:17Z")
Always get up on the kitchen table and lay down on my side despite repeatedly throwing the cat across the room when caught. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2015, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/16 "2015-09-06T22:16:33Z")
My mom’s current tenant will actually refuse to eat until after she’s been petted. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2015, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/17 "2015-09-07T00:51:54Z")
Kitty food that is leftover in the dish is not edible. Only kitty food that is freshly poured into the dish is edible. Pouring leftover kitty food from the dish into the bag and then from the bag back into the dish makes it edible again. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2015, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/18 "2015-09-07T00:59:17Z")
> [@Iggy](#): > > Pouring leftover kitty food from the dish into the bag and then from the bag back into the dish makes it edible again. Ha ha; this. My cat demands “fresh” food. I just recycle the old stuff back to the bag. Does the smell of the food dissipate or something when outside of the bag? I think that cats actually do have fairly predictable and expressive body language. But it’s subtle and easy to confuse “I want belly rubs” with “I want you to put your hand there so I can attack it”. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2015, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/19 "2015-09-07T02:57:26Z")
Our cat goes to walk when we take the dog to walk. Follows closely behind sometimes crying if we get too far ahead. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171/20 "2015-09-07T18:01:04Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Cats, being manifestations of various quantum physics phenomena, can be in as many places simultaneously as they wish. [We’ve discussed this before.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=17857868#post17857868) That was a funny thread, but okay, Mr. Scientologist guy, explain this one: Cats increase in weight and mass in direct proportion to how much effort you put into moving them, while retaining the ability to shape-shift and flow around those efforts. If sleeping next to you at night, all efforts to dislodge or move them are for naught. Leg sweep? Human, please; your leg passes right underneath without kitty even opening an eye. Knee nudge? Hah! Body fold maneuver. Pick up and move? Silly human, you can’t lift something that now outweighs you and that simply rolls off of your hands. Also, while you are in the bathroom for that night call, cats innards turn to jelly and they flow into the warm spot that you left. Since you can’t move them, you now must find a new spot to sleep in. All cats must announce daybreak, regardless of the hour. At the first sign of light, they’re ready for the hunt, and you, as part of the litter, must join in the prowl for kibble. Food already in the dish from the night before doesn’t exist until you walk over to it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-nonsensical-things-that-house-cats-do/730171.md?page=2)