# List of some of the worst movies you have ever seen **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 27, 2014, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129 "2014-04-27T19:25:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/61 "2014-04-28T11:00:14Z")
Full Fathom Five—a Hunt for Red October rip-off with Michael Moriarty. Deep Star Six—an Abyss rip off with Greg Evigan Hear No Evil—a “thriller” with DB Sweeny. Mixed Nuts–a Christmas comedy with Steve Martin Crime Zone–a “futuristic” thriller with David Carradine (for about 10 minutes of the movie) ---
**Author:** ![Doyle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doyle/32/439_2.png) [@Doyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doyle)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/62 "2014-04-28T14:58:48Z")
Anything from the **Billy Jack** franchise. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/63 "2014-04-28T15:04:06Z")
> [@Wolf333](#): > > “Funny Games” was written and directed by Michael Haneke. You’re right. I get them confused as they are both obnoxious European directors who hate their audiences. I stand corrected! ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/64 "2014-04-28T15:53:32Z")
**The Purge**. What in the everloving fuck was that crap. ---
**Author:** ![nevadaexile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@nevadaexile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevadaexile)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/65 "2014-04-28T16:05:48Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > **Command of a battleship?** > > Really? > > Being given command of a battleship of any other kind of a ship seems like a very bizarre fate for someone who is relatively new to the navy. In fact, it seems just about nearly impossible. > > How in the world would any navy newcomer been given command of any kind of ship? > > Was every other kind of commander killed before he wound up in command of this battleship? > > That just seems incredibly strange to me! The VERY BEST scene in the film is when a multi-ton battleship **skids to a stop** so that it can turn and fire a broadside.I couldn’t stop myself from howling when I saw that. The laws of physics violated by that particular move (especially when none of the crew was flung violently off of their feet or the upper deck wasn’t ripped from the ship) were so numerous that it basically turned a live action film into a cartoon. An almost two hour long cartoon. And Rihanna didn’t show her goodies or sing so it was an especially egregious piece of tripe. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/66 "2014-04-28T16:08:24Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Wow! :eek: Wasn’t the Hayes Code still active, back then? Nitpick: it’s Hays Code. And the answer is “no, mostly.” Wikipedia has a good summary at [Nudity in Film](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nudity_in_film). In the first place, the Hays Code was voluntary and covered only participating producers, although that included all of Hollywood. Anybody could put out a film that violated the code: the problem was finding a place to show it. Exploitation films were made throughout the Hays Code period, often with some “scientific” excuse, such as the birth of a baby, and shown anywhere they could rent a hall or theater. Nudist camp films, mostly shot in Europe, were a major genre, although these were always the friendliest, most wholesome nudists doing family-friendly activities. Volleyball! Lots of volleyball! A 1957 court case challenged censorship and so nude exploitation films re-emerged. Doris Wishman, who did _Nude on the Moon_, did a number of these, but she wasn’t quite first. Still, her films were shot in nudist camps (then the term for naturist parks or whatever else they’re called today) and showed women standing in extraordinary perfect “casual” posed positions that didn’t show a hair on the public mound. _Nude on the Moon_ is mere toplessness. Because of the harsh climate, I guess. I mentioned it because I stumbled upon it when researching films about space in the 50s and immediately bought a copy because… well, “because” was all the excuse I needed. The draw that the moon race had on the public is often exaggerated but you could sell any popular culture material by adding the word moon: it’s practically a definition of exploitation. Films grew bolder every year until the early 70s when frankly hardcore films became briefly chic, but the Hays Code was beaten around the head and face throughout the 60s until it cried uncle. ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/67 "2014-04-28T20:16:38Z")
Re: the Resident Evil movies. I like the first one. Second one sucks. The others just kind of play out like watching someone else play a video game and then they’re over. Not so much awful as bland and forgettable. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/68 "2014-04-28T22:50:21Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > Anything by Lars Von Trier. I’ve seen ‘Breaking the Waves’ “Funny Games” and I TRIED to watch Dogville. Von Trier is a troll, for him, film is a chance to express hatred and contempt for his audience. Crap, no matter how expertly made, is still what it is. I loved (for want of a better word) “Funny Games”. Are you referring to the German-language version? Haven’t seen the English one. That ranked up their with the version of “Gaslight” starring Ingrid Bergman as the scariest movie I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![racepug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@racepug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racepug)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/69 "2014-04-28T23:09:07Z")
I can’t remember its title but it came out in the late '80s. I was in the navy at the time and I watching it on base in Adak, AK with one of my shipmates and it ended up being the first movie I’ve ever walked out of (that I can remember). As you can probably guess I don’t remember much about it but I think it had (oh, God - there goes my **memory** , again) the guy who played **Beetlejuice** in it. Another one I walked out of (with my wife with me even though before we saw she was the one who was so excited to see it) was “Gladiator.” I still think of it as little more than a porn movie but with violence substituted for the porn. And then there was one a few years ago that had the English woman from the “Pirates of the Caribbean” films in it that I couldn’t get through. Again, I can’t remember its name since I thought so little of it. Movies I will NOT go see: anything with Julia (gag me) Roberts or Adam Sandler in it. Also, I’m not a fan of Seth Rogen’s. Or at least I’m not a fan of the kinds of movies he tends to be in (that’s brings to mind another movie I wasn’t able to get through - “Knocked Up”). As a corollary to that I’ve decided that Judd Apatow movies aren’t for me. ---
**Author:** ![racepug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@racepug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racepug)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2014, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/70 "2014-04-28T23:26:00Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > The Grey > > Trouble With The Curve > \*\* > Gran Torino\*\* > > The Two Jakes > > Cheyenne Autumn > > Anything with Adam Sandler, but admittedly I’ve never been able to make it all the way through one. > > Taken 2 (seems Liam Neeson will take anything that includes a paycheck) Huh. I thought _Gran Torino_ was okay. All right - it wasn’t quite the career finale that I would’ve preferred for the (mostly) esteemed Mr. Eastwood but at least I was able to watch the whole thing which is more than I can say of the movies I put down in _my_ list. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/71 "2014-04-29T00:06:39Z")
> [@racepug](#): > > Huh. I thought _Gran Torino_ was okay. All right - it wasn’t quite the career finale that I would’ve preferred for the (mostly) esteemed Mr. Eastwood but at least I was able to watch the whole thing which is more than I can say of the movies I put down in _my_ list. I kept waiting for the movie to be something other than a predictable, boring crapfest (now, with racial epithets!), but sadly it never happened. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/72 "2014-04-29T00:06:57Z")
> [@Doyle](#): > > Anything from the **Billy Jack** franchise. I think of those less as films than as interesting cultural-historical artifacts. And I have the first one’s music-soundtrack on vinyl. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/73 "2014-04-29T00:10:34Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I kept waiting for the movie to be something other than a predictable, boring crapfest (now, with racial epithets!), but sadly it never happened. According to [this analysis](http://www.salon.com/2013/02/21/oscar_loves_a_white_savior/), it at least represents an evolutionary step of a kind in the “White Savior” genre. > [@](#): > > Clint Eastwood’s 2008 film pioneered a White Savior mythology that previously seemed impossible to render: a mythology whereby an old-school racist can simultaneously cling to his bigotry while also becoming the venerable protector of the people of color he insults. > > If that seems oxymoronic, absurd and altogether shameless, that’s because it is; but that didn’t stop Eastwood from trying to pull it off. In the process, he delivers a film that hints at the bizarre fantasies of his fellow aging conservatives. Indeed, he seems to be arguing that we should not demand that bigots discard their overt prejudice because for many of them, underneath the coarse racism there is supposedly an honorable warrior who believes in truth, justice, the American Way — and racial fairness. > > If only we would better understand these aging warriors, suggests “Gran Torino,” they might all miraculously turn into White Saviors. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/74 "2014-04-29T00:16:06Z")
And, according to [_Angry White Men: American Masculinity at the End of an Era,_](http://www.amazon.com/Angry-White-Men-American-Masculinity/dp/1568586965) by Michael Kimmel: > [@](#): > > A similar theme [to [_Falling Down_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falling_down)] is sounded in _Gran Torino_ (2008), Clint Eastwood’s ode to the sacrificial heroism of white working-class American men. The move proceeds toward a similar, inevitable outcome. If William Foster is blindsided by his decline, Eastwood’s character, Walt Kowalski, eventually accepts it elegiacally; his death is heroic and sacrificial, whereas Foster’s is defiant and uncomprehending. It took fifteen years, but now the angry white man surrenders to his fate. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/75 "2014-04-29T00:22:28Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > **Master and Commander Far Side of the World** : Again, surprising to some. I hated this one, too. Say wha??? 😕 I mean, if you don’t like it, that’s one thing; de gustibis etc. But “worst movie??” Please to be listing the faults that earn it a “worst movie” nod. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/76 "2014-04-29T00:24:15Z")
The absolute worst I’ve ever seen (or at least, seen part of-- I couldn’t get past about five minutes) was a fundamentalist Christian movie called [Time Changer](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295725/), which my dad gave me for my birthday one year. Bless him, he knew that I like time travel stories; he really was trying to give me a gift I’d appreciate. But not only is the dialog cringe-worthy (“Golly, I didn’t know that stealing was wrong! I won’t do it again”), but the production values were so poor that even just looking at it was painful. Seriously, I don’t think the cameraman even knew what the brightness control was. The worst I ever sat all the way through was this thing called [The Fountain](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0414993/), about people in three different ages looking for the Fountain of Youth, before finding it and getting nuked by a supernova in the Orion Nebula, which somehow brings them back to life. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/77 "2014-04-29T00:50:12Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I loved (for want of a better word) “Funny Games”. Are you referring to the German-language version? Haven’t seen the English one. Point of order: Both versions of _Funny Games_ were written & directed by Michael Haneke, not Von Trier (one was a shot-for-shot remake of the other.) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/78 "2014-04-29T00:54:55Z")
A few more: **Star Crystal** – a cheap Alien ripoff about a monster loose on a starship. What made this hilariously bad was that they defeated the Alien baddie by… [spoiler]…converting it to Christianity! No joke. Unfortunately[/spoiler] **Terror in the Tropics** – I think this one went straight to video. They took a lot of old and cheap movies, starring the likes of Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, and Lon Chaney, Jr. and tried to cobble them together with new scenes shot in black and white with new actors, and tried to make a coherent plot out of this mess. Only they didn’t try very hard. And the new actors are all uniformly awful. This is one of those “so bad it’s bad” movies with no redeeming campy value. **Curucu, Beast of the Amazon** – screenplay by Kurt Siodmak, who gave us a lot of the Universal 1940s monster films (including _The Wolfman_). This one’s from the late 1950s, and in color, and awful. You see, it turns out, at the end, that there is NO monster. Sorry about that! **Monster from Green Hell** – a space capsule crashes in Africa, and the radioactivity produces a hive of giant bees. They spent some money on animation of a few giant bees, including a scene where one attacks a snake, and apparently had to pay for it somehow, so the first half of this film is padded intolerably with "hiking into Africva: scenes. Some shots of giant bees attacking running natives were, I’m told, lifted from one version of _King Solomon’s Mines_, with the giant bee superimposed. Overall, this has a lot ion common with the MST3K-fest _The Lost Continent_ with Cesar Romero – lost capsule, intolerably long jungle trek, a little animation (but nowhere near enough), 1950s B&W movie. Incredible bad. \*_The Unknown Terror_ – A woman goes to Mexico looking for her brother who was lost in a cave, but finds a mad scientist working in that cave cultyivatiung fungus, which, if it gets on you, pretty much takes over and you never get it off. This might have been a scary movie, but the “fungus” looks like a really frothy bubble bath, and once you see it, you can’t take it seriously anymore. It looks like a 1950s incarnation of a rave. I saw this movie once, as a kid, and got excited a while back when I learned that Charles Gray was in it. But it’s not the Rocky Horror Narrator/Mr. Henderson/Ernst Stavro Blofeld/Mycroft Holmes Charles Gray – it’s some other actor with that name. **The Prehistoric Sound/The Sound of Horror** – really bad 1960s Italian horror movie starring a then-unknown Ingrid Pitt. They decided to save money by making the Monster Found in a Cave (a Dinosaur) inexplicably invisible! Why this is so is never explained. The movie features some of the absolute worst “invisible man” effects you’ve ever seen, poorly executed. And just when you thought it was safe and over, they show the monster at the end. It’s a guy in a real; bad monster suit. He’s the size of a normal guy, too. If he hadn’t been invisible, nobody would’ve much cared. **The Cape Canaveral Monsters** – Before Night of the Living Dead, aliens take over the bodies of a man and woman killed in a car crash so they can sabotage our space program. Teenagers stumble upon them, and our heroes defeat the aliens by building a hydrogen bomb from plastic belts. I swear this is true. REALLY bad, and ultra-low budget. It makes you yearn for the high tech special effects of Bert I. Gordon or Roger Corman. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/79 "2014-04-29T01:21:07Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > According to [this analysis](http://www.salon.com/2013/02/21/oscar_loves_a_white_savior/), it at least represents an evolutionary step of a kind in the “White Savior” genre. Both the articles you link to seem like the worst sort of tripe. ---
**Author:** ![danhanegan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb9ed0/32.png) [@danhanegan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danhanegan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129/80 "2014-04-29T02:11:47Z")
Nothing but Trouble. A really terrible piece of Chevy Chase schlock from 1991. Has the distinction of the only movie I have ever walked out of the theater on. Hard to believe Demi Moore played the female lead, I’m sure she would rather people forget to give her the credit. But there is no accounting for tastes, my brother apparently found it hilarious. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/list-of-some-of-the-worst-movies-you-have-ever-seen/687129.md?page=5)