# Listen to me Uterus. You are NOT FUNNY! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2017, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281 "2017-08-10T22:13:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2017, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/1 "2017-08-10T22:13:34Z")
Okay, I admit, I treated you as if you didn’t exist. It couldn’t have been easy, hanging around down there, feeling as useless as the appendix, bored out of your endometrium. Painting the place every month only to see all that work washed away in futile celibacy, time after time. But I was looking forward to being post-menopausal. Just three more weeks, and it would have been official. But you. You have been lying in wait since last August, getting my hopes up. Just sitting, waiting, not doing anything until today came around and then it’s “Let’s see if this thing still works…Why look at that. It does! Guess who has to wait another whole year to be post-menopausal? HAHAHAHA!!” My co-worker said as we came out of the office washroom together, “Just as I think I’m out, they pull me back in!” I laughed out loud at that line. But just in case you heard me laughing, Uterus, I just want you to know. You are NOT FUNNY!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2017, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/2 "2017-08-10T22:43:53Z")
I know just what you’re going through. I’m 53 and I haven’t completely stopped having periods this past year, but have had enough skipped months and delays that I keep thinking “That was the last one… maybe the last one”… and then there’s another. But at my age, it’s got to stop some time soon–right? ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2017, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/3 "2017-08-10T23:03:34Z")
I’ve been there, and I know how you feel. Just know that the uterus won this battle, but you will win the war. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2017, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/4 "2017-08-10T23:13:38Z")
I’m in the same boat! I had a minor period a few weeks ago and thought, hmmm… but it’s back again today. I find the closer I am getting to menopause, the more incandescent my rage during the first day or two. I mean, I definitely had mood changes as part of PMS over the years, but not as strong as this. My mom hit menopause at 50 and that’s still over a year away. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/5 "2017-08-11T00:09:35Z")
I wonder if any male Dopers will dare to open this thread? ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/6 "2017-08-11T01:29:41Z")
We all already knew that they were no joke. Balls, now those are funny! ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/7 "2017-08-11T02:03:28Z")
My mom hit menopause at 50, for me it was 46. I don’t miss the periods but I didn’t know I was trading that devil that I knew for the unknown devil that comes w/ not making testosterone or estrogen and having to replace those to have a semblance of normalcy. No one told me I’d face atrophy w/o testosterone, for example; that would have been good to know and plan for w/ pharmaceutical help. I’d rather have had periods till I was 70 than deal w/ this shit. Now I’m facing either a few grand of injection treatments or laser treatments, b/c I won’t live like this enough I have no choice. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/8 "2017-08-11T02:35:24Z")
Atrophy of what, if you don’t mind me asking? Personally, I just want to take out my whole reproductive system fire it into the sun. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/9 "2017-08-11T02:59:29Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Atrophy of what, if you don’t mind me asking? > > Personally, I just want to take out my whole reproductive system fire it into the sun. Menopausal women in general can experience [several areas of atrophy](http://www.obgyn.net/menopause/managing-menopause-part-2-vulvovaginal-atrophy); it’s not easy to discuss mine but it’s on that list and it’s happened in the space of less than a year (and it was a shitty year anyways w/o dealing w/ that). ETA - I wish not only women but men learned about the biological changes of menopause much earlier in their lives; seems most men only think menopause = extremely moody woman who gets fat and that makes her stop having sex. ---
**Author:** ![mikecurtis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikecurtis/32/3284_2.png) [@mikecurtis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikecurtis)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/10 "2017-08-11T03:09:49Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I wonder if any male Dopers will dare to open this thread? Many of us have had mothers and sisters and wives who have had they’re own complicated relationships with that mysterious organ and we wonder what it’s like from the other side. It sucks that you have to go through this, ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/11 "2017-08-11T03:13:35Z")
I told my daughter recently “when you hit 51 and are still getting yours like clockwork, you can swear my direction and blame my genes.” ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/12 "2017-08-11T03:51:54Z")
I feel you OP. I’ve gotten my hopes up far too many times myself, only for Old Flo to rear her ugly head again :mad: ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/13 "2017-08-11T04:07:07Z")
I’m 53 and going through the same kind of thing myself. Usually, my “periods” are just a little vaginal discharge, but a few months ago, I had a full-fledged period that lasted a week, just like old times. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/14 "2017-08-11T05:14:51Z")
I had a teacher in hs who thought she was done with all that and had an "oops " baby at 52… only thing she knew about the dad was he was 35 and was in Hawaii on vacation the same time she was and like the same drink she did … ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/15 "2017-08-11T05:28:28Z")
So the OP’s uterus is cramping her style. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/16 "2017-08-11T12:35:19Z")
I am male, I am not going to make any jokes, and I have chocolate. Please don’t hurt me. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/17 "2017-08-11T13:35:13Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I wonder if any male Dopers will dare to open this thread? Well, my wife, Pepper Mill, has gone through this and more with her incredibly complicated health history. And I know three women who went through lots of gyrations and complications and ultimately had hysterectomies. I know it’s no Bunch or Roses/Bowl of Cherries. And just when you think you’re through it all, you have a daughter going through puberty, so you get the other side, as well… I have chocolate, too. Dark. I also give foot rubs and back massages. Don’t hurt me. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/18 "2017-08-11T13:43:36Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I am male, I am not going to make any jokes, and I have chocolate. Please don’t hurt me. > > Regards, > Shodan Open the thread, toss in lots of chocolate, close the door and back away. It is hte only way to survive =) Hysterectomy here, and I don’t miss my inner bits at all!!! ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/19 "2017-08-11T13:47:57Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I wonder if any male Dopers will dare to open this thread? Male here. From what could be seen in preview as I hovered my cursor over the thread title it wasn’t clear in what way your uterus might be betraying you. So I clicked, if only to learn and empathize. At least it seems to only be the vagaries of aging and not something more serious health-wise. Not sure I would say I’m glad to hear what your uterus is conspiring to do to you, but relieved its not cancer or other such problem. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/20 "2017-08-11T14:01:48Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I wonder if any male Dopers will dare to open this thread? Oh hell yes. My wife will be 53 this fall, and every month, it’s “dammit, when _will_ this stop?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281.md?page=2)