# Listen to me Uterus. You are NOT FUNNY! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2017, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281 "2017-08-10T22:13:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/21 "2017-08-11T14:16:08Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Open the thread, toss in lots of chocolate, close the door and back away. It is hte only way to survive =) I say we take off and chocolate the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/22 "2017-08-11T14:27:27Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Well, my wife, Pepper Mill, has gone through this and more with her incredibly complicated health history. And I know three women who went through lots of gyrations and complications and ultimately had hysterectomies. I know it’s no Bunch or Roses/Bowl of Cherries. > And just when you think you’re through it all, you have a daughter going through puberty, so you get the other side, as well… > > I have chocolate, too. Dark. I also give foot rubs and back massages. Don’t hurt me. When we were all much younger, I was the non-hippie of my group - and the rest of my pre-children friends were anti hysterectomy breastfeeding Nazis, convinced the medical establishment first ripped your baby out via c-section because it was easier and later ripped your uterus out for the fun of it. Now they all praise the hysterectomy - and I’m one of the few with my girl bits left. (And several of them bottlefed, and several had c-sections. Life has a way of challenging your assumptions). ---
**Author:** ![jools](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@jools](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jools)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/23 "2017-08-11T14:28:52Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > But I was looking forward to being post-menopausal. Just three more weeks, and it would have been official. > > But you. You have been lying in wait since last August, getting my hopes up. Just sitting, waiting, not doing anything until today came around and then it’s “Let’s see if this thing still works…Why look at that. It does! Guess who has to wait another whole year to be post-menopausal? HAHAHAHA!!” > > My co-worker said as we came out of the office washroom together, “Just as I think I’m out, they pull me back in!” > > I laughed out loud at that line. But just in case you heard me laughing, Uterus, I just want you to know. You are NOT FUNNY!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: Ahhh I’m so there with you… TWICE it did it to me twice before finally closing down for good. I thought it would never end, but it did… hang in there it’ll happen, I promise! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/24 "2017-08-11T15:06:05Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Hysterectomy here, and I don’t miss my inner bits at all!!! Same here - it all came out when I was 35, which is a sucky time to deal with hot flashes; on the other hand, I’ve saved a fortune not having to buy the associated sundries, so there’s that. At the time, I was bummed that I couldn’t have another baby, but once my baby was out of college and on her own, I was glad I didn’t have to deal with another. So there’s also that. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/25 "2017-08-11T15:08:28Z")
I was just at year too when I had another. It’s a cruel joke it is. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/26 "2017-08-11T15:22:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **Iggy** : > > Male here. > > From what could be seen in preview as I hovered my cursor over the thread title it wasn’t clear in what way your uterus might be betraying you. So I clicked, if only to learn and empathize. > > At least it seems to only be the vagaries of aging and not something more serious health-wise. Not sure I would say I’m glad to hear what your uterus is conspiring to do to you, but relieved its not cancer or other such problem. I was thinking about the same thing. Just take comfort in the fact that whatever you do or don’t do about this, it’s going to go away on its own, eventually. At least you don’t have to worry about that. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/27 "2017-08-11T15:37:22Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > I say we take off and chocolate the entire site from orbit. > > It’s the only way to be sure. Heh. I’m picturing this [![](https://sherwin.com.cn/media/large/1205_logo2.jpg) ](https://sherwin.com.cn/media/large/1205_logo2.jpg) but with melted chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/28 "2017-08-11T16:27:38Z")
The last few months I’ve barely had a period at all and I keep hoping maybe this is it. But… I’m only 42 and Mom and Gran both had to have surgical intervention in their mid-50s to get it to stop. Gran had a hysterectomy and Mom had an ablation, both because of fibroids. My doctor has already mentioned menopause to me and said there are things we can do to help if things get bad. I’m ready to be done with it, there aren’t going to be any babies here. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/29 "2017-08-11T17:35:17Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Menopausal women in general can experience [several areas of atrophy](http://www.obgyn.net/menopause/managing-menopause-part-2-vulvovaginal-atrophy); it’s not easy to discuss mine but it’s on that list and it’s happened in the space of less than a year (and it was a shitty year anyways w/o dealing w/ that). Aunt Flo, I think I’ll keep her! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/30 "2017-08-11T19:27:02Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Menopausal women in general can experience [several areas of atrophy](http://www.obgyn.net/menopause/managing-menopause-part-2-vulvovaginal-atrophy); it’s not easy to discuss mine but it’s on that list and it’s happened in the space of less than a year (and it was a shitty year anyways w/o dealing w/ that). > > ETA - I wish not only women but men learned about the biological changes of menopause much earlier in their lives; seems most men only think menopause = extremely moody woman who gets fat and that makes her stop having sex. Gotcha. I tend not to think of those symptoms under the heading, “atrophy” but thinking about I can see now that it would be the root cause. I think everybody should learn more about human biology. It’s our very lives, after all. It shouldn’t be a mystery. It’s a shame we take it all for granted. Somebody get Bill Nye on the phone. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2017, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/31 "2017-11-28T22:02:32Z")
I’m bumping this to add what I hope will be useful information to prevent needless pain in other uterus-owning persons. July 20th my dad passed from a cancer called myelofibrosis; the next morning I was awoken by a call from my GYN w/ the results of my every-3-years Pap. You know when the dr themselves call you it typically isn’t to share good news. He found endometrial cells in the sample and for a menopausal woman that is a sign of endometrial cancer, which has not been found to be genetic like other female cancers. He told me he wanted to do tests and after I got back from my funeral trip I had them. The first is just an uncomfortable wand procedure that measures the endometrial lining and that process was no more painful than the usual pelvic exam. The dr felt my lining thickness warranted a biopsy. I researched the procedure for endometrial biopsy and found most women’s experience was having them done under a form of sedation, so when I called to schedule mine I was surprised that wasn’t brought up. When I mentioned it, the staff told me it wasn’t needed and ibuprofen plus diazepam should be enough for me to handle the ‘discomfort’. They denied sedation for this biopsy was routine. By then I was more scared of having cancer than I was of anything else so I followed their advice. They lied. It is not ‘discomfort’ nor a ‘pinch’ or ‘pressure’; it was excruciating. I’d tried to distract myself during the prep by reading a magazine but the second the dr started scraping up material I was gasping and then I shrieked. He kept going and a few seconds later I begged him to stop; he did. The pain didn’t. I asked if he had enough for a sample; “Heh, no.” I did a mental 30 count then told him to finish; I sobbed into a magazine the rest of the time and cannot tell you how much longer it took. Neither the PA nor dr commented that the pain I felt was unusual. Afterward, the PA helped me sit up and the dr said he didn’t believe there would be any cancerous cells found but now we’d be sure (which I’m totally fine w/ btw, considering my dad died of cancer 3 months and 1 day earlier); he was right and the results were benign. The PA helped me to the waiting room where my friend waited to drive me home. The pain subsided completely about 12 hours after the biopsy and there was no lingering soreness. I believe they know how much pain there is in this procedure and can think of no charitable reason for them to do it w/o sedation. If it’s recommended to you, and pain is not your kink, pursue the route of sedation. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2017, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/32 "2017-11-28T23:21:28Z")
I am so sorry that happened to you. I hope you find another doctor to see in the future. He sounds unprofessional at best. I am glad that your results were benign. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2017, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/33 "2017-11-28T23:31:47Z")
Holy shit. There’s absolutely no reason to inflict that kind of pain on someone. I’m surprised your doctor didn’t stop and do something about it. It makes me so angry that women get treated like this. I’m very glad the results were benign. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2017, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/34 "2017-11-28T23:40:54Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > I am so sorry that happened to you. I hope you find another doctor to see in the future. He sounds unprofessional at best. > > I am glad that your results were benign. Thank you, me too! It’s been a stressful few months, as you can imagine. The challenge here in Utah is finding a GYN who specializes in peri- and menopausal women \*and \*is covered by or accepts insurance. Reproductive medicine is paramount. At best I’m looking at a gap of several hundred dollars btwn what’s charged for potential procedures/medicine (like bio-identical pellets) and what insurance pays for; kicker is that I have a $6550 annual deductible so I’d be paying for all of it to a point myself. When I talked to this OB/GYN about pellet treatment he said he’s unfamiliar w/ it, doesn’t do it and offered me an expensive laser treatment called Mona Lisa Rejuvenation which I researched and heartily declined (insurance doesn’t cover it, either). We’ll see how healthcare shakes out in the next several months, then I’ll revisit it. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2017, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/35 "2017-11-28T23:51:30Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > Holy shit. There’s absolutely no reason to inflict that kind of pain on someone. I’m surprised your doctor didn’t stop and do something about it. It makes me so angry that women get treated like this. > > I’m very glad the results were benign. Generally the reason is that in order to get reimbursed for anesthesia, he’d have to justify the procedure to the insurance company. But if he just goes ahead and does it, the charges won’t be questioned. Now, whether he does this in a preponderance of caution for the sake of his patient’s health, or to keep his practice books in the black is the real concern. I’m so sorry this happened to you, Nawth. I had a similar experience with Gastrointestinal testing and will never look at a doctor the same way again. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2017, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/36 "2017-11-28T23:58:49Z")
I feel your pain and anger! I went almost a full year…three times! I was soooo crushed each time. Was cursing and swearing and stomping around the house quite miserable. Shit, I’m pissed off FOR you. Just keep telling yourself, you’re always getting closer! Oh, and chocolate and flowers, and maybe wine too! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2017, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/37 "2017-11-29T00:15:07Z")
I will be 51 in two months, and my stupid uterus is still cranking out periods on a German train schedule. My mother and maternal grandmother, and maternal aunt all had hysterectomies in the late 40s, so I have no idea when they would have hit natural menopause, and I also have absolutely no idea when my paternal grandmother hit it. My father died when I was 30, and I never though to ask him back then if he knew, but I’m sure the answer would have been “I don’t know.” I was 22 when she died, and I certainly never asked her. Menopause wasn’t on my mind at all back then. I asked my OB/Gyn about a hysterectomy, but there’s no reason to do one on me. I have one fibroid, and that’s not enough, and my mother died of ovarian cancer, but in her 70s, and she did not have the BRCA gene. If I had the gene, or my mother had died before she was 60, the doctor would consider a prophylactic hysterectomy, but apparently there’s no way to justify it to the insurance company otherwise. Shoulda bought stock in Kotex. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2017, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/38 "2017-11-29T00:23:42Z")
> [@jools](#): > > Ahhh I’m so there with you… TWICE it did it to me twice before finally closing down for good. I thought it would never end, but it did… hang in there it’ll happen, I promise! Yes, same thing happened to me, but it WILL be over eventually. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/39 "2017-11-29T00:39:00Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > Holy shit. There’s absolutely no reason to inflict that kind of pain on someone. . . . It makes me so angry that women get treated like this. . . . [slight hijack]A male poster here a few years ago had a prostate procedure (I’m not remembering what kind), but was given no anaesthetic. He, too, was told there would be “slight discomfort”, but he said it was agonizing and that he was shrieking in pain during the procedure. I remember posting in that thread “why the hell would someone do such a horrible thing without any anaesthetic?” Folks were speculating back then about insurance reimbursement, too.[/slight hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2017, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281/40 "2017-11-29T06:35:11Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > Holy shit. There’s absolutely no reason to inflict that kind of pain on someone. I’m surprised your doctor didn’t stop and do something about it. It makes me so angry that women get treated like this. > > I’m very glad the results were benign. Thanks, me too! I thought later, why not just use the numbing cream dentists have? Something to do w/ a clean sample, I suppose. This dr’s office has thin walls and everyone in an exam room can hear what’s going on in adjacent rooms; I can only imagine the questions they got afterward. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-me-uterus-you-are-not-funny/793281.md?page=3)