# Listen To The #&%@\*!$ Mockingbird! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 12, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-the-mockingbird/65244 "2001-05-12T19:04:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-the-mockingbird/65244/21 "2001-05-15T12:57:56Z")
Try getting him to imitate a Kenny G track. He’ll either have lost the will to live long before the end [sub]and spontaneously combusted[/sub] or be so embarrassed every time he opens his mouth that he’ll be permanently silent… ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-the-mockingbird/65244/22 "2001-05-15T15:20:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\*What you need to do is [expand his repetoire](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000002NSX/ref=lm_lb_2/104-9942987-9182352). > \*\* Actually…What would happen if you set up a speaker in your window and serenaded your little friend with a couple of hours of assorted birdsongs every day? Would he decide there was too much competition and relocate? Or would he have a little birdy breakdown? It might be worth a try, **Zenster.** **jr8,** The thought of euthanizing birds for dive-bombing people at the State Department annoys the Hell out of me, were they afraid their little sharp beaks would deflate too many stuffed shirts and swelled heads? Maybe we could relocate some of them (the birds that is) over to the Halls of Congress. ::smiling, thinking of Alfred Hitchcock’s _The Birds_, and congressmen:: ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-the-mockingbird/65244/23 "2001-05-15T15:44:45Z")
_…Mock…(yeah) …ing…(yeah) …bird…(yeah) …yeah…(yeah) Mockingbird! Now everyone, have you heard? He’s gonna buy me a mockingbird, And if that mockingbird don’t sing, He’s gonna…_ …get a good night’s sleep, presumably. 🙂 **Bumbazine** , I suspect the victims were more likely to be tourists or office workers than important people, but one can hope. Me, I get a blast o’ bird noise starting at around 4am every morning which usually wakes me up. But then I fall asleep again. If my alarm doesn’t get me up, a bunch of little featherballs ain’t gonna do it. I don’t suppose mockingbirds are put off by scents like fox urine? Just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-the-mockingbird/65244/24 "2001-05-15T16:26:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > \*\*I don’t suppose mockingbirds are put off by scents like fox urine? Just a thought. \*\* Nope. Few birds (except for Turkey Vultures, seagulls, and a few others) have a well-developed sense of smell. This proves all too true with Great-Horned Owls, the only birds tough enough to take on a skunk with little fear of reprisal (and boy, when we get an injured and musked GHO in, hooooooooooo boy! put that guy out in the backyard!!!). As far as the bird song, that may well attract other birds to the area. Our former ornithologist brought out a looped tape of an Eastern Screech-Owl and played it in front of our office. Within minutes, we had Blue Jays, Mockingbirds, Palm Warblers and at least a dozen other species looking to drive off the predator. One of the Blue Jays landed on the tape player, pecking at the box, still trying to get to the owl that was obviously inside the box. I can attest to the power of the mockingbird: I have a scar on the back of my head from getting too near some babies when momma/daddy was around. I heard a noise in a hollybush and bent down to investigate. There were two little babies (one sitting quietly and the other screaming his little air sacs out). I stood up to walk away and BAM! face first on the concrete. The momma/daddy was a little stunned, since s/he most likely meant to only buzz me, rather than actually make contact. But if you’ve ever been glared at by a mocking bird, you KNOW you’ve done wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-the-mockingbird/65244/25 "2001-05-15T22:01:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > **Bumbazine** , I suspect the victims were more likely to be tourists or office workers than important people, but one can hope. Yeah, me too. It’s just that I had this visual in my head of that movie, with Jesse Helms in the Tippi Hedren part, and I _had_ to share it. As a consolation story, **Zenster,** we are about to suffer an invasion of a flock of Orange-Vested Nocturnal Highway Maintenance Workers. A particularly ugly bird with a cacophonous call known to infest areas for up to several years. The powers-that-be have decided to re-do the state highway that lies a block from our bedroom window, and they’ve decided to do it at night, ostensibly to reduce disruption to the neighborhood. :eek: We are either going to have to move to the upstairs front bedroom at the other end of the house, or, more likely, gut our bedroom and insulate the hell out of the walls and windows. You may have to do the same, or try **Atreyu’s** earplugs, if you can tolerate them. I’ve tried sleeping with earplugs and can’t manage it. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-the-mockingbird/65244/26 "2001-05-16T05:10:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bumbazine \* > **…I’ve tried sleeping with earplugs and can’t manage it.** I’m with you **Zine** , I don’t understand how people can sleep with earplugs. If something happens in the house, I _want_ to be woken up. I mastered the art of sleeping with a pillow over my head decades ago. Not a lot of fun to do in hot weather though. Sadly, the high notes of the birds stab right through the goose down pillow. Got to get a slingshot. ---
**Author:** ![bare](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bare/32/471_2.png) [@bare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bare)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-the-mockingbird/65244/27 "2001-05-16T05:21:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\* > > …stab right through the goose down pillow. \*\* No wonder the bird mocks you, try an synthetic pillow. Birds of a feather, flock toghther! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listen-to-the-mockingbird/65244.md?page=1)