# Listening to old songs only serves to cause confusion. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 30, 2019, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listening-to-old-songs-only-serves-to-cause-confusion/842702 "2019-10-30T15:31:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listening-to-old-songs-only-serves-to-cause-confusion/842702/41 "2019-10-31T13:11:03Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > They’re speeding, they evaded the weigh stations, and they drove through toll barriers without paying (of course, the chase started before most of that happened, but I assume the speeding was the initial problem). Reminds me of **this song** ,\* the lyrics to which I learned in the '70s. (If anyone has corrections or additions to make, please do so.) **STAR FLEET** \*It was Star Date thirty-four sixteen nine, and we’d swung the phasers 'round. I said “Scotty, this here’s Captain Kirk, and I’m gonna put the hammer down!” We were sailin’ through interstellar space, ‘bout ninety times the speed of light. We met a cave full of Klingon Smokey Bears, and we passed ‘em on the right. They said, “Hold on, Federation Roger Ramjet! The limit here’s Factor Three!” I said, “Uhura, didja hear Smokey ask if he could open a hailin’ frequency?” We got ourselves a Star Fleet, trekkin’ through the night! Yeah, we got ourselves a Star Fleet, ain’t she a beautiful sight? Come on and join our Star Fleet, ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way! We’re gonna take our mighty Star Fleet across the Milky Way! STAR FLEET! STAR FLEET! We were half a parsec, front door to back, and a light-year edge to edge, and we showed them Klingon Smokey Bears how far the Treaty’d stretch. We had cargo liners, cruisers, scouts. We had dreadnaughts fore and aft. And sixteen long-eared Vulcan hippies in a rented shuttlecraft. _PSHT!_ Uh, put them Vulcans in behind the cargo liner, will ya? His computer’s gone out. _PSHT!_ Well, we’d just come out of Klingon space, and what should lie ahead, but a Romulan border checkpoint, and my phaser banks were dead! I said, “Scotty, this here’s Captain Kirk, I don’t believe I can read that sign!” So we shot the gate at Warp Factor eight, and we left ‘em all behind! _PSHT_ Ten-four, Good Buddy, keep the matter side in and the anti-matter side out! _PSHT_ We got ourselves a Star Fleet, trekkin’ through the night! Yeah, we got ourselves a Star Fleet, ain’t she a beautiful sight? Come on and join our Star Fleet, ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way! We’re gonna take our mighty Star Fleet across the Milky Way! STAR FLEET! STAR FLEET!\* \*Fan parody? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listening-to-old-songs-only-serves-to-cause-confusion/842702/42 "2019-10-31T13:41:20Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > And who dips donuts in tea, anyway? It’s a euphemism. Also “a drunkard’s dream” = an enabler. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listening-to-old-songs-only-serves-to-cause-confusion/842702/43 "2019-10-31T17:08:59Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Today I was listening to old people music on the TV because that’s what old people do. You’d think I’d listen to the '80s old people TV station since that _should_ be my music sweet spot, but no. I can be found almost always lost in the '70s. The criminally underrated actress and comedian Vicki Lawrence’s hit came on and I actually listened to the words of The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia. > > First thing, he’s been gone a long time and instead of going home to be with his wife, he stops at a bar to get drunk. Shows you what kind of husband he was. Second thing, what was up with his friend? Sure, if your friend’s wife is cheating on him, you’d tell him. But would you tell your friend basically, 'Your wife’s a hoe. We’ve all been fucking her while you were gone. 'night Bud!" > > Mostly though, who in the hell killed the best friend? The accused sister? Why? Did they hang the other guy the same night? Doesn’t seem so since there was a trial. Why the hell did the lights go out? I was not quite 8 when the song came out and I imagined them charging up the electric chair caused the lights to flicker and turn out but it says right in the chorus that he was hung. > > I need to stop deep listening to old songs. I never really listened to the words, and [neither did Nice Guy Eddie](https://youtu.be/GyR4RK0LA_E?t=200). ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listening-to-old-songs-only-serves-to-cause-confusion/842702/44 "2019-10-31T17:29:51Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I have a sister named Dixie. She really hated those songs. When she turned 50 her SO gave her a surprise b-day party. He had downloaded every song known with Dixie in the lyric, and it was playing at the party. She dumped him soon after. If she’d killed him on the spot, no jury would have convicted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/listening-to-old-songs-only-serves-to-cause-confusion/842702.md?page=2)