Cute, The Ryan. And by ‘cute’ I mean totally uncalled for.
I really don’t get what the vehemence is about. You all know what ‘literally’ can mean, and I’ll bet that if I gave a list of sentences, you could easily pick out which ones use the original meaning and which ones use the recent meaning. And for the sentences that are completely ambiguous by themselves, I’d also be willing to bet that either the meaning can be derived from the original context, just like 90% of English language, or the difference doesn’t matter.
Casual and dialectal speech takes liberties with the language. There’s nothing wrong with that. There is no ‘correct’ dialect, only ones that sound different. Valley speak may sound completely braindead to you with its seeming overuse of the word ‘like’, but I guarantee that it has its own rules and meanings, to the point where speakers of that dialect can pick out people who don’t know the dialect or are mocking it by their misuse of that dialect’s rules.
As I said before, in a post that everyone seemed to ignore, casual speech plays fast and loose, but when a speaker needs to be more precise, they switch to a higher register and use the language more intelligently (usually). I myself speak with a mishmash of drawling Southern and Californian speech styles when I’m just talking to friends or family, but I can easily become more precise and eloquent when I need to.
As for sneering at the concept that language does indeed change, I honestly boggle at this. It’s like fundamentalists sneering at evolutionary theory. There is a ton of evidence in favor of language change, most of which happens gradually, and is determined by popular opinion. You can’t say “I’m using ‘this’, but I really mean ‘that’,” because unless a large population agrees with you, it means jack squat–or that you’re simply being an obstinate arse. Take your pick.
'Literally’s use as emphasis has caught on to such a large degree that most people are aware of its new meaning, and can use it without feeling awkward (well, except for the obstinate people who think language doesn’t change, and remains in a pristine and pure condition). It may not be the best use of the word, I fully agree, and using its secondary meaning is not appropriate in certain situations, but that’s true of all words.