# Little Girl Gives up Alien Parents **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 31, 2010, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429 "2010-05-31T22:26:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/21 "2010-06-01T15:11:27Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > That company, whoever it is, is run by hard-working Americans, probably listed on an American stock exchange and owned by hard-working Americans. The company has moral and fiduciary obligations to its stockholders to maximize profit and if that means “exploiting” scurrious criminal slime, so be it. You liberals would be the first to shriek if the company hired patriots instead, or, through lower profits, was less able to pay taxes to finance your socialist dreams. > > For all we know they’re drug-dealing, prostituting, terrorist scum who’ve just been lucky. The little girl should be given a medal for turning in her criminal parents, and have her own prison sentence reduced for good behavior. > > But ya know? Michelle’s big program I hear is to make Americans as skinny as Africans. Obama is himself an alien. I’ll bet they go after the investment bankers and oil executives who’ve made America great, not these confessed criminals. I’m assuming this is all a parody? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/22 "2010-06-01T15:31:36Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > I’m assuming this is all a parody? It’s gotta be. The real thing is even more crazy. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/23 "2010-06-01T20:14:15Z")
Yes, I was trying to be funny. I thought it was OK since this is BBQ Pit. (I _thought_ that “reducing the prison sentence” of the 7-year old girl would remove any doubt that it was a parody.) > [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > It’s gotta be. The real thing is even more crazy. Are you saying if I were really a right-wingnut I’d sound even nuttier? I’ve tried such parodies in other forums, thinking that looking at themselves in a caricature-mirror might enlighten some right-wingers. Instead I got fan mail, and requests to talk on right-wing radio. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2010, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/24 "2010-06-01T23:57:17Z")
> [@may\_be\_ignorant](#): > > I absolutely agree with the fact that employers should be fined aswell - and although you say that these people cause no harm, it’s pretty obvious they do. Perhaps many of them stay out of trouble, but many don’t pay any kind of taxes, and take jobs of would-be taxpayers. It’s not even this that upsets me the most, however. I simply cannot believe that the Peruvian president said what he did about such a problem. Have you ever heard of withholding taxes? If they’re employed by a taxpaying employer, undocumenteds pay taxes just as much as the rest of the working class. As for the rest, you don’t have to be foreign to work under the table. This is such a bullshit argument. If workers are working under the table without paying taxes, that doesn’t take a job away from any native Yank willing to do the same. You are perfectly free to go out & do “contract” piecework for below minimum wage if you want to compete. If you want to stop people from underselling their labor, unionize the labor force; but you’ll have to make common cause with the “illegals” to make it work, most likely. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/25 "2010-06-02T00:00:30Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > You liberals would be the first to shriek if the company hired patriots instead, or, through lower profits, was less able to pay taxes to finance your socialist dreams. You really don’t get socialism if you think this. > [@](#): > > For all we know they’re drug-dealing, prostituting, terrorist scum who’ve just been lucky. The little girl should be given a medal for turning in her criminal parents, and have her own prison sentence reduced for good behavior. > > But ya know? Michelle’s big program I hear is to make Americans as skinny as Africans. Obama is himself an alien. I’ll bet they go after the investment bankers and oil executives who’ve made America great, not these confessed criminals. Glass houses. You’re an extradimensional dark-magic monstrosity housed in the body of an apparent hybrid of a human & an extraterrestrial lizardman, iirc. Or was that another guy? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/26 "2010-06-03T01:57:02Z")
I think it may be time for us to designate a different colour text for parody. Otherwise the ‘brighter than the average’ dopers end up getting all whooshed and shit! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/27 "2010-06-03T02:15:21Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > Are you saying if I were really a right-wingnut I’d sound even nuttier? > > I’ve tried such parodies in other forums, thinking that looking at themselves in a caricature-mirror might enlighten some right-wingers. Instead I got fan mail, and requests to talk on right-wing radio. :smack: Well it was very good, but the problem is you’re still sane. There’s this hilarious infomercial for something called Newswatch magazine. Here’s a sample issue: [UNITED NATIONS - SATAN’S LAST STAND! PART III](http://www.newswatchmagazine.org/nov98/index.shtml). The best part is they still think there’s a USSR. In the infomercials they talk about Nazi Eugenics and Obama. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/28 "2010-06-03T04:33:12Z")
Wait, are we deporting them, or putting them in prison? ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/29 "2010-06-03T05:09:06Z")
I guess if you think illegal immigration provides a net benefit to Americans or that liberalizing the process represents a magnanimous humanitarian gesture on our part you wouldn’t have a problem with what the president of Peru said, but I have a problem with it. I have a real problem with the idea that America should be the dumping ground for Latin America’s excess population. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/30 "2010-06-03T15:25:40Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > If nobody was hiring illegal immigrants there would be no incentive for them to come here to begin with. If the government would enforce immigration then there would be no illegals for them to hire. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/31 "2010-06-03T17:17:09Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > This girl has a real future in the Junior Anti-Sex League. Precisely what I thought. Wtf is going on here? ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/32 "2010-06-03T18:42:00Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > I have a real problem with the idea that America should be the dumping ground for Latin America’s excess population. Ever been to New York? They have this statue thingy in the harbor there- > [@](#): > > …"Give me your tired, your poor, > Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, > The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. > Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/33 "2010-06-03T18:49:48Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Have you ever heard of withholding taxes? If they’re employed by a taxpaying employer, **undocumenteds** pay taxes just as much as the rest of the working class. As for the rest, you don’t have to be foreign to work under the table. Why the euphemism? They’re documented, all right. With a fake SSN. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/34 "2010-06-03T20:24:08Z")
> [@Tahssa](#): > > If the government would enforce immigration then there would be no illegals for them to hire. And if Americans would quit importing drugs from Mexico and and exporting weapons to Mexico maybe Mexico could focus on getting out of poverty instead of drug wars on behalf of uncle sam for a change. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/35 "2010-06-03T20:44:15Z")
Or, we could legalize drugs, and Mexico could legalize guns, and we could have the world’s most awesome barbacue weekend! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/36 "2010-06-03T22:36:11Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > I guess if you think illegal immigration provides a net benefit to Americans or that liberalizing the process represents a magnanimous humanitarian gesture on our part you wouldn’t have a problem with what the president of Peru said, but I have a problem with it. I have a real problem with the idea that America should be the dumping ground for Latin America’s excess population. Considering my ancestors were dumped here as excess population from Northern Europe & the British Isles, & those were non-Romance cultures with a poor tradition of dance, bland taste in clothing, & (in the case of the British Isles) horrifically bad cuisine, I think excess Latin population has got to be a giant step up. This is in fact my real reason for supporting Latin migration, other than general libertarianism. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/37 "2010-06-03T22:39:10Z")
> [@Darth\_Nader](#): > > Or, we could legalize drugs, and Mexico could legalize guns, and we could have the world’s most awesome barbacue weekend! Right on! And if Canada legalizes prostitution, we can get them to bring the hookers. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/38 "2010-06-03T22:58:35Z")
In fact, forget the barbeque! ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/39 "2010-06-04T01:13:42Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Why the euphemism? They’re documented, all right. With a fake SSN. It’s not the same goddamn thing. Why does everyone else have to stroke themselves to the term _illegal_ (generally sneered as a dirty little noun) just because that’s how you get off? And they don’t all have fake SSNs. Many pay taxes with their ITN. They are still illegal immigrants, yet they are undocumented AND pay income tax. And pay tax on the food they buy. And pay property taxes. And pay taxes on the same things citizens pay for. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429/40 "2010-06-04T02:02:59Z")
Look. Employers donate to politicians. It’s good business. Folks living payday to payday don’t. So, easy target. Why don’t real conservatives get it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girl-gives-up-alien-parents/541429.md?page=3)