# "Little girls" in police cases: am I the only one who gets annoyed by this? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 22, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717 "2012-05-22T14:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/21 "2012-05-22T16:01:11Z")
**Infovore** , I for one am shocked – _shocked_ – that you have the temerity to be annoyed by something that other people on the Internet are not annoyed about. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/22 "2012-05-22T16:06:17Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > **Infovore** , I for one am shocked – _shocked_ – that you have the temerity to be annoyed by something that other people on the Internet are not annoyed about. Do I detect a note of annoyance in your post? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/23 "2012-05-22T16:07:21Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Do I detect a note of annoyance in your post? God, I hope so. I put in half a concerto’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/24 "2012-05-22T16:08:00Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > This may be a result of POV. How old are you? Do you have any kids? > I am 50. I have a daughter who is 11 years old. I am a teacher, this year of 7th graders. To me, 15 \*is \*a little girl. My guess is that the sheriff is from closer to my demographic than what I suspect is yours. I may well be wrong, but my guess is that you are closer to 15 than to 50. Yep, you’re wrong (well, about the age). I’m 47. No kids, not a lot of contact with kids. And I tend to be really sensitive to gender-related issues. Just curious: from your perspective, is a 15-year-old boy a “little boy”? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/25 "2012-05-22T16:11:41Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Yep, you’re wrong (well, about the age). I’m 47. No kids, not a lot of contact with kids. And I tend to be really sensitive to gender-related issues. > > Just curious: from your perspective, is a 15-year-old boy a “little boy”? Yes. If you aren’t around real children much, let me remind you that the actors you see playing them in movies and on TV are typically much older both physically and emotionally than the characters they play. I don’t mean that as snark either. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/26 "2012-05-22T16:14:00Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > God, I hope so. I put in half a concerto’s worth. Does that make me the inspiration for the concerto or are you dedicating it to me? ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/27 "2012-05-22T16:17:10Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Yes. > > If you aren’t around real children much, let me remind you that the actors you see playing them in movies and on TV are typically much older both physically and emotionally than the characters they play. I don’t mean that as snark either. If you think of teen boys as “little boys” then you’re not part of the annoyance in my OP. Like I’ve said before, it’s not that it happens–it’s that it’s applied unequally that bugs me. Infantilizing girls but not boys to make them seem more vulnerable and sympathetic. Shouldn’t we have equal sympathy and feel equally protective toward _all_ kids who disappear? And yeah, I understand what you mean about actors. I don’t take that as snark. This is an old example, but I was just mentioning this last night while the spouse and I were watching “Happy Days” on the Hub while we waited for the House finale to start. Richie, Potsie and Ralph were supposed to be 17, but not one of them looked a day under 30. It hasn’t gotten a lot better in the last 30 years… ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/28 "2012-05-22T16:22:55Z")
It’s recreational-outrage inflation, as are a brutal murder, a brutal rape, a brutal beating. They make one wonder whatever happened to gentle murders, gentle rapes and gentle beatings. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/29 "2012-05-22T16:26:49Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Yep, you’re wrong (well, about the age). I’m 47. No kids, not a lot of contact with kids. And I tend to be really sensitive to gender-related issues. > > Just curious: from your perspective, is a 15-year-old boy a “little boy”? I humbly offer that you don’t know what the hell you are talking about. As the father of two daughters now well past 15, one definitely thinks of kids that age as little girls, at least some times and especially when they are in distress. Parents see the connection between a 15-year-old and the girl when she was younger. A parent sees the little girl things that a 15-year-old does at home, even when she would never do them outside. Since you didn’t give a link I don’t know if it is the same person, but the Sheriff I heard speaking at the news conference today is a woman. Maybe she has daughters. Maybe she is thinking of what if this horrible thing had happened to them at 15. As another data point, one of my daughter’s friends live around the block. Her father was a cop, and he walked with her everywhere, despite our neighborhood being pretty safe. I suppose he had seen stuff, even in our town, which scared him. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/30 "2012-05-22T16:30:47Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I’m not sure how big a story this is outside California, but a 15-year-old girl disappeared awhile back and there’s been a huge hunt to look for her. Yesterday they arrested a suspect and are going to charge him with kidnapping and murder (even though they don’t have a body yet…but I think they know more than they’re telling at this point).( I heard some of the news conference. It appears that they found DNA evidence from him on her possessions (they found a bundle of clothes by the road) and they found evidence that he was in her car, which thy had taken a while ago. There was video footage showing it hanging around the scene. They had him under 24-hour surveillance for quite some time, hoping he would lead them to the body. The sheriff did not say why the made the arrest now (not from the portion of her comments on the radio) but the perp is being charged with murder. He is also linked to some other assaults from 3 years ago, using DNA. ET include [link to news story.](http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2012/05/22/suspect-linked-to-evidence-in-sierra-lamar-kidnapping-murder/) The sheriff quoted in the OP is a woman, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/31 "2012-05-22T16:32:49Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > I humbly offer that you don’t know what the hell you are talking about. As the father of two daughters now well past 15, one definitely thinks of kids that age as little girls, at least some times and especially when they are in distress. Parents see the connection between a 15-year-old and the girl when she was younger. A parent sees the little girl things that a 15-year-old does at home, even when she would never do them outside. I’ll ask you the same question I asked **Scumpup** : if you had boys, would you think of them as “little boys”? And again, parents and relatives aren’t part of what I expressed in my OP. I’m only talking about unrelated people (and _particularly_ the media, even more than law enforcement). > [@](#): > > Since you didn’t give a link I don’t know if it is the same person, but the Sheriff I heard speaking at the news conference today is a woman. Maybe she has daughters. Maybe she is thinking of what if this horrible thing had happened to them at 15. It is the same person. I left her name out because a lot of people are searching for info about her and I didn’t want them find this thread, since it wouldn’t be helpful or relevant. And yeah, you have a point about the sheriff, if she has kids. Fair enough. But the world is a dangerous place for boys as well as girls. Boys disappear. Boys get murdered. So why does the “little” stuff all seem to be focused on girls? _That_ is the crux of my annoyance. That’s all. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/32 "2012-05-22T16:33:03Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Yeah, but my question is this, then: Every boy is “somebody’s little boy,” too, but they never do it for boys (at least not boys over the age of 10 or 11). Why not? Mine hasn’t been “my little boy” since kindergarten, but given that he’s now 24, he’s still “the Rugrat”. I would venture that it’s cultural, if not biologic, that ‘little girl’ for a 15 year old is because of the instinctive desire to protect a female, while ‘little boy’ is rarely used beyond 8 years or so because males are supposed to grow up strong and protective. The wording evokes sympathy for a girl. If I’m going to get flamed for a caveman attitude, go tell it to someone who cares. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/33 "2012-05-22T16:33:31Z")
It kind of irks me, too. What’s wrong with young lady? As if young women don’t need to be protected, just little girls. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/34 "2012-05-22T17:10:04Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > It kind of irks me, too. What’s wrong with young lady? As if young women don’t need to be protected, just little girls. Bothers me as well, and I’m 42. The teenager in question may be considered to always be her parents’ “little girl” but she is not the sheriff’s, reporter’s, or reader’s little girl. And I agree that I don’t recall any “little boy” usage for tales of teen boys gone missing, at least not from law enforcement. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/35 "2012-05-22T17:25:45Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > I’m not a teacher, but I do work at a high school. Most 15 year olds are far from looking like adults, let alone acting like adults. Take a look at consecutive yearbook photos, and it’s pretty obvious there’s a lot of growth between 15 and 18, even without accounting for behavior. Well, yes. My point is that they still look more adult than a 5 year old, but their thought processes and behaviors are still very immature and that it’s a good idea to remember that. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/36 "2012-05-22T17:51:16Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I’ll ask you the same question I asked **Scumpup** : if you had boys, would you think of them as “little boys”? And again, parents and relatives aren’t part of what I expressed in my OP. I’m only talking about unrelated people (and _particularly_ the media, even more than law enforcement). I forgot to respond to this very reasonable question. I think I would, but I can’t say for sure not having any sons. > [@](#): > > But the world is a dangerous place for boys as well as girls. Boys disappear. Boys get murdered. So why does the “little” stuff all seem to be focused on girls? _That_ is the crux of my annoyance. That’s all. Girls seem to disappear more frequently, or at least it gets covered more frequently. By the way, the missing girl is not the blue-eyed blond so loved by some of the media. (We don’t have a lot of them around here.) Has Nancy Grace covered this case. If not, there is your reason. BTW, I’m reading “Homicide” by David Simon in conjunction with watch the series from Netflix. One of the cases in both is the murder of a young girl. Simon mentions that the cops at the scene did not do the joking around that they did at most murder scenes. It is not surprising that this kind of crime strikes home deeper than your usual crime, and leads to them thinking of the victim as a little girl (or maybe boy) who can be protected only by finding the perp. I can think of situations where outrage at calling a 15 year old a little girl is justified, just not here. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/37 "2012-05-22T17:53:07Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > It kind of irks me, too. What’s wrong with young lady? As if young women don’t need to be protected, just little girls. Any parent knows that if your daughter is being called “young lady” she is in the process of getting yelled at. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/38 "2012-05-22T18:04:25Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Any parent knows that if your daughter is being called “young lady” she is in the process of getting yelled at. True, true. I’m not a parent and even _I_ know that! But what’s wrong with “young woman,” or “girl,” or even “young girl” or “teenage girl”? Any of those would be less condescending than “little girl” for a 15 year old. I think if it were a 15-year-old boy missing, he would be “teenager” or “boy” or “young man.” ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/39 "2012-05-22T22:47:47Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Yep, you’re wrong (well, about the age). I’m 47. No kids, not a lot of contact with kids. And I tend to be really sensitive to gender-related issues. FWIW, I’m 46, and have two nieces. To me, the 11-year-old is still a “little girl”. The 14-year-old is definitely _not_. But of course, as soon as they’re 18 they’ll suddenly be “women”, as far as the media and such are concerned. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717/40 "2012-05-23T04:58:01Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Yeah, but my question is this, then: Every boy is “somebody’s little boy,” too, but they never do it for boys (at least not boys over the age of 10 or 11). Why not? Spanish reporters are starting to do that. Recently I saw a mother being asked about her “little boy” who’d been wounded in a car accident and giving a mangled answer halfway between “what ‘little boy’, he’s 17, he’s almost a man! My little boys are these other two!” and “ohmygod, this shouldn’t have happened!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-girls-in-police-cases-am-i-the-only-one-who-gets-annoyed-by-this/622717.md?page=3)