# Little kids make me(the pizza guy) feel like santa **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 22, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414 "2006-10-22T04:51:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/1 "2006-10-22T04:51:44Z")
I guess that’s a perk to the job. Still haven’t been invited in for sex, I guess I’ll have to take kids betting excited. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/2 "2006-10-22T05:29:28Z")
[QUOTE=Snarky\_Kong] Still haven’t been invited in for sex [/QUOTE] You mean that all those porn movies LIED?!? ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/3 "2006-10-22T05:33:19Z")
[QUOTE=Snarky\_Kong] Little kids make me(the pizza guy) feel like santa I guess that’s a perk to the job. Still haven’t been invited in for sex [/QUOTE] Though if a little kid thought you were Santa and invited you in for sex, that’s one offer I’d seriously consider declining. ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/4 "2006-10-22T05:34:38Z")
[QUOTE=Snarky\_Kong] I guess that’s a perk to the job. Still haven’t been invited in for sex, I guess I’ll have to take kids betting excited. [/QUOTE] Do you poke a hole through the middle of the pizza/pizza box just in case the situation ever comes up? Actually I never got that part of the pizza guy porn movies – when he sticks his pecker through the hole in the pizza box, why doesn’t he get scalded by hot melted mozzarella? ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/5 "2006-10-22T05:40:40Z")
[QUOTE=Hunter Hawk] Though if a little kid thought you were Santa and invited you in for sex, that’s one offer I’d seriously consider declining. [/QUOTE] But if they know I’m just the pizza guy I’m in the clear right? ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/6 "2006-10-22T05:42:04Z")
[QUOTE=Rodgers01] Do you poke a hole through the middle of the pizza/pizza box just in case the situation ever comes up? Actually I never got that part of the pizza guy porn movies – when he sticks his pecker through the hole in the pizza box, why doesn’t he get scalded by hot melted mozzarella? [/QUOTE] I’ve actually never seen pizza guy porn. I can’t imagine that’d look very sexy anyway. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/7 "2006-10-22T05:45:29Z")
[QUOTE=Rodgers01] Actually I never got that part of the pizza guy porn movies – when he sticks his pecker through the hole in the pizza box, why doesn’t he get scalded by hot melted mozzarella? [/QUOTE] I dunno about you, but by the time a pizza delivery gets to my house, the mozzarella has congealed into a tepid, gluggy mess…no scalding likely. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/8 "2006-10-22T07:24:09Z")
Which, of course, makes it the perfect delivery vehicle for another sort of congealed, tepid, gluggy mess. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/9 "2006-10-22T14:31:13Z")
I did get a few answerers-of-the-door-in-their-skivvies, several of whom were quite attractive- and several of whom were dudes. There was also one glorious night when TWO (!) girls answered the door nude. You could have heard my jaw drop from the next county I think. Never, ever got the sex invite, though, except a couple times when it was my girlfriend, which is cheating. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/10 "2006-10-22T14:46:24Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] Never, ever got the sex invite, though, except a couple times when it was my girlfriend, which is cheating. [/QUOTE] Wait… I thought that if you boinked your actual SO, it _WASN’T_ cheating. I’m so confused! ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/11 "2006-10-22T15:09:57Z")
Anyone who shows up at my door with food is automatically the object of my affections. Problem is, their Vespa is always double parked. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/12 "2006-10-22T15:21:31Z")
[QUOTE=Snarky\_Kong] Still haven’t been invited in for sex, I guess I’ll have to take kids betting excited. [/QUOTE] Um… ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/13 "2006-10-22T16:44:32Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] There was also one glorious night when TWO (!) girls answered the door nude…Never, ever got the sex invite, though, [/QUOTE] Dude - your user name seems particularly apt… .😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/14 "2006-10-22T16:47:29Z")
[QUOTE=Rodgers01] Do you poke a hole through the middle of the pizza/pizza box just in case the situation ever comes up? Actually I never got that part of the pizza guy porn movies – when he sticks his pecker through the hole in the pizza box, why doesn’t he get scalded by hot melted mozzarella? [/QUOTE] …I am now plagued with bad, bad mental images of the pizza box getting stuck. _Bad_ mental images. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/15 "2006-10-22T17:45:17Z")
So are you waiting for a girl who says that there’s not enough sausage on the pizza and could you give her some more? ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/16 "2006-10-22T22:19:31Z")
No, he’s waiting for the woman who says that she ordered a white pizza. “I’ll make it white for ya, baby!” ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/17 "2006-10-22T22:47:06Z")
Oh, and since no one’s done it yet… Bowm Chikka Wow Wow ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/18 "2006-10-22T23:01:14Z")
[QUOTE=Snarky\_Kong] I guess that’s a perk to the job. Still haven’t been invited in for sex, I guess I’ll have to take kids betting excited. [/QUOTE] Time for a higher dollar trade…as an onsite PC tech I have been offered sex twice. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/19 "2006-10-23T06:20:13Z")
[QUOTE=drachillix] Time for a higher dollar trade…as an onsite PC tech I have been offered sex twice. [/QUOTE] That’s because you get to wear one of those sexy Geek Squad shirts, as opposed to a silly hat and polo. Nothing shows off one’s rippling muscles quite like a Geek Squad shirt. And a Volkswagen Beetle. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414/20 "2006-10-23T07:15:41Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] Um… [/QUOTE] Two different events. One is little kids jumping up and down yelling about the pizza man being there. The other would be some sexy young adult needing extra attention. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-kids-make-me-the-pizza-guy-feel-like-santa/377414.md?page=2)