# Little Known Chuck Norris Fact...... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 6, 2006, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230 "2006-03-06T06:28:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Roboto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@Mr.Roboto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Roboto)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/1 "2006-03-06T06:28:04Z")
On a covert mission to Southeast asia, Chuck Norris re-assembled the Delta Force to attack a P.O.W. Camp and liberate an American P.O.W. rumoured to still be held captive from the Viet Nam War. As the Intel was correct, the mission was a success and after 30+ years of captivity, the soldier headed home. Bound for America on a C47 transport, Mr. Norris offerred the soldier a Camel cigarette and asked him what the first thing he (the p.o.w.) was going to do when he got back home. The soldier commented, the first thing he was going to do was go see a John Wayne or Clint Eastwood Cowboy Movie. Mr. Norris, tearing up, said “Son, John Wayne has past away and Clint Eastwood hasn’t made a western since the Unforgivin” However, if it’s a western your achin’ to see, we have Brokeback Mountain" After viewing Brokeback Mountain the soldier committed suicide. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/2 "2006-03-06T06:45:02Z")
😕 ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/3 "2006-03-06T06:48:51Z")
That’s the worst Chuck Norris fact ever. In fact, I heard Chuck Norris just murdered **Mr. Roboto** through the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/4 "2006-03-06T07:05:55Z")
Your post makes me feel like I’m driving through fog. ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/5 "2006-03-06T16:22:55Z")
Chuck Norris doesn’t cry. _Ever._ ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/6 "2006-03-06T16:24:35Z")
> [@George Kaplin](#): > > Chuck Norris doesn’t cry. _Ever._ But if he did, his tears would cure cancer. There are some great lists out there about these sorts of “facts”. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/7 "2006-03-06T16:49:20Z")
Chuck Norris once had his own line of toilet paper. It was a spectacular failure as it wouldn’t take shit from anyone. The most offensive thing in Mr. Roboto’s OP is the implication that Chuck Norris would need a Delta Force Team an airplane or even intel to rescue POWs. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/45deac/32.png) [@Evil\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_One)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/8 "2006-03-06T16:51:24Z")
Chuck Norris is the reason that Waldo is hiding. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/9 "2006-03-06T17:31:36Z")
If Chuck Norris knew you guys were writing about him he would delete the entire internet, immediately after giving you a roundhouse kick to the face. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/10 "2006-03-06T17:46:06Z")
GAAAH!!! These stupid things have completely taken over General Chat in beginner zones on at least half of the World of Warcraft servers. It’s REALLY hard to immerse yourself in roleplaying when 12-year-olds are spamming “Chuck Norris facts” in your window… ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/11 "2006-03-06T18:05:04Z")
Why have I been seeing so many Chuck Norris references lately? Is this a pop culture thing I have missed? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/12 "2006-03-06T18:17:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Why have I been seeing so many Chuck Norris references lately? > > Is this a pop culture thing I have missed? Learn the [facts](http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/) about Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/13 "2006-03-06T18:23:58Z")
Chuck Norris not only birthed the mountain that they filmed Brokeback Mountain on but each tree on that mountain began life as a hair in Chuck’s beard. Also Chuck Norris wouldn’t need to spit in his hand like Heath Ledger did. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/14 "2006-03-06T20:43:49Z")
> [@middleman](#): > > Why have I been seeing so many Chuck Norris references lately? > > Is this a pop culture thing I have missed? There are two theories, both of which are probably true to some extent. 1. It’s Conan O’Brien’s fault for regularly showing random _Walker, Texas Ranger_ clips for a while now. CN actually did an appearance on _Late Night_ which was kinda funny. (You can probably find a this clip online somewhere.) 2. It was Norris’ cameo appearance in the movie _Dodge Ball_. (I didn’t see it, so I can’t say whether he was onsceen enough for it to make a difference WRT the recent spate of Norris facts.) Regardless of the reason Norris was used for the second round of \ facts, it may also be worth mentioning that “Vin Diesel” facts came first, and the Internet (yes, all of it), is slowly migrating over to “Jack Bauer” facts. > [@Lochdale](#): > > But if he did, his tears would cure cancer. The alternate version of this, which I prefer, goes: Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Perhaps ironically, he only cries after he kills someone. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/15 "2006-03-06T21:05:44Z")
Chuck Norris could fuck both of the cowboys from Brokeback Mountain and it wouldn’t be gay. All other men are anatomically closer to women than to Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/16 "2006-03-06T21:09:34Z")
> [@Push You Down](#): > > Also Chuck Norris wouldn’t need to spit in his hand like Heath Ledger did. Correct. Merely saying, “booyah” would create sufficient lubrication. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/17 "2006-03-06T21:09:46Z")
I heard the cancer line as "Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Unfortunately, he never cries. I also heard that he can win a game of “Connect Four” in three movies. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/18 "2006-03-06T21:14:20Z")
Alexander the Great solved the Gordian Knot by cutting it with his sword. When someone recently recreated the Gordion Knot, Chuck Norris merely had to stare at it, and it untied itself in shame. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/19 "2006-03-06T22:00:47Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > GAAAH!!! These stupid things have completely taken over General Chat in beginner zones on at least half of the World of Warcraft servers. It’s REALLY hard to immerse yourself in roleplaying when 12-year-olds are spamming “Chuck Norris facts” in your window… I’ve found it fairly safe and much nicer to just add anyone quoting this stuff to my “Ignore List” on WoW. And I’m trying to start a movement for everyone to ignore anyone who begs money from strangers in WoW. Maybe it will get rid of them. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230/20 "2006-03-06T22:07:55Z")
Chuck Norris did not appear in Brokeback Mountain. However, he did contribute greatly to its making. He broke the mountain’s back. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-known-chuck-norris-fact/347230.md?page=2)