# "Little Red Riding Hood" nitpick **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 6, 2015, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013 "2015-02-06T23:25:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/1 "2015-02-06T23:25:07Z")
Wolf, you just caught a little girl alone in the forest. You want to eat her? Just eat her. What’s the point of all this rigamarole about getting ahead of her and posing as Grandma? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/2 "2015-02-06T23:33:23Z")
James Bond “So Mr Badguy Evilton, now that you…” BANG! Badyguy Evilton “Stuff him in a landfill. Then we’ll do what we do every night … try and take over the world!” ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/3 "2015-02-06T23:36:37Z")
In a story where there’s a talking wolf, a girl who mistakes a talking wolf for her grandmother, and a wolf who “eats” people whole without apparently taking a bite (they are unharmed when cut out of his stomach), _that’s_ the nit that you pick? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/4 "2015-02-06T23:52:56Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Wolf, you just caught a little girl alone in the forest. You want to eat her? Just eat her. What’s the point of all this rigamarole about getting ahead of her and posing as Grandma? The wolf actually enjoyed cross-dressing as Octogenarians, but he couldn’t dress as old ladies because it was frowned upon by the rest of the woodland creatues. But he thought if he could fool Red it would be justification of his desire but Red wasn’t fooled. He ate her and Grandma out of frustration, he was a grief eater. If only he had been allowed to be himself. I blame society. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/5 "2015-02-06T23:53:12Z")
The wolf has to catch Red off guard, because [she has a baseball bat](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=748297). ---
**Author:** ![huitzilopochtli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e99b99/32.png) [@huitzilopochtli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/huitzilopochtli)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/6 "2015-02-06T23:56:58Z")
I’m hesitant because I think I’ve been whooshed but I’m not sure. Meh, what the heck. It’s a metaphor for what happens to little girls when they go out alone at night. He’s a wolf after all. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/7 "2015-02-07T00:11:52Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Wolf, you just caught a little girl alone in the forest. You want to eat her? Just eat her. What’s the point of all this rigamarole about getting ahead of her and posing as Grandma? Because, thanks to Red, now the Wolf knows that Grandma is weak (in the brother’s Grim version she even tells the wolf that the wine she carries also is to help Grandma get better) So now the Wolf knows that Grandma is easy prey, and now instead of one meal he will have two, plus the wolf can now eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti… 🙂 The point of the tale was very similar to the one made later in WWII about loose lips. ---
**Author:** ![huitzilopochtli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e99b99/32.png) [@huitzilopochtli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/huitzilopochtli)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/8 "2015-02-07T00:18:43Z")
I guess I only whooshed myself! Maybe I was a little quick to assume something like slut shaming. ;):smack:I don’t think that usually includes “And you’ll get your poor grandma killed too!” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/9 "2015-02-07T00:21:11Z")
He wanted her shirker carkeys and she had never been told that yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers. [Source](http://www.exploratorium.edu/exhibits/ladle/) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/10 "2015-02-07T00:22:09Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > Because, thanks to Red, now the Wolf knows that Grandma is weak (in the brother’s Grim version she even tells the wolf that the wine she carries also is to help Grandma get better) But why not just eat Little Red and then go off and eat grandma? Obviously there wouldn’t be much of a story otherwise, but from the wolf’s perspective it makes little sense. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/11 "2015-02-07T00:29:19Z")
I would like to take this further , why a story about a wolf eating people in the first? Wolves have a natural fear of people and want nothing to do with them . Little Red Riding Hood lied! To answer your question the story was written to instill the fear of wolves so people would hunt to death. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/12 "2015-02-07T00:51:57Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > But why not just eat Little Red and then go off and eat grandma? Obviously there wouldn’t be much of a story otherwise, but from the wolf’s perspective it makes little sense. In the tale of the Brother’s Grim there is also an explanation, Red Riding hood had +100 in avoidance abilities, hard for the Wolf to catch Red. (In the tale Red was keeping her distance and it could be that she had ways to defend herself) so he hatched the plan to catch her later when her guard was down when approaching “Grandma” > **[HOMER | The Essential Early Learning Program and App for Kids 2-8](https://learnwithhomer.com)** > > HOMER is the early learning program for ages 2-8 that is personalized to your child's interests to help them fall in love with learning. Try it free for 30 days! ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/13 "2015-02-07T01:21:56Z")
It’s called the art of seduction. I bet you eat your mac and cheese out of the pot. Which would be sensible except for the portion size. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/14 "2015-02-07T01:30:13Z")
‘Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to _eat you!_’ ‘Golly, don’t people screw anymore?’ ‘Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to _rape you!_’ ‘Not gonna happen, Big Boy. You’re going to stick to the script and _eat_ me!’ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/15 "2015-02-07T02:53:51Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > The point of the tale was very similar to the one made later in WWII about loose lips. Ah, yes! [Private SNAFU!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIv0X4Ka-po) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/16 "2015-02-07T02:59:50Z")
> [@Lord\_Mondegreen](#): > > In a story where there’s a talking wolf, a girl who mistakes a talking wolf for her grandmother, and a wolf who “eats” people whole without apparently taking a bite (they are unharmed when cut out of his stomach), _that’s_ the nit that you pick? 😉 I recall an old _Peanuts_ strip. Lucy is reading “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” to Linus. LINUS: Excuse me, I have a question. It’s in regard to cooling. It seems to me that if the middle bowl were “too cold,” then the little bowl would have been “too cold” too, instead of “just right,” and . . . LUCY: :mad: _WHAP_ YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY! ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/17 "2015-02-07T03:10:01Z")
You think that’s crazy? Let me tell you about diminutive, skittish Ms. Muffet, who had arachnophobia… ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/18 "2015-02-07T03:13:04Z")
Perhaps the path is reasonably well-trafficked, and the wolf needs to get Red behind closed doors to enjoy his repast. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/19 "2015-02-07T06:39:11Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > He wanted her shirker carkeys and she had never been told that yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers. > > [Source](http://www.exploratorium.edu/exhibits/ladle/) Hokey smokies, that takes me back! I remember that from when samizdat of this sort was Xeroxed and re-Xeroxed. I still have it on paper, and you can tell it’s something like a tenth generation copy! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/20 "2015-02-07T07:41:55Z")
I’ve always preferred the James Thurber version The girl took out an automatic and shot him. MORAL: It’s not so easy to fool little girls these days. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013.md?page=2)