# "Little Red Riding Hood" nitpick

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [February 6, 2015, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013 "2015-02-06T23:25:07Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\
**Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/21 "2015-02-07T09:03:25Z")

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> [@Johnny\_Q](#):
>
> I’ve always preferred the James Thurber version
> 
> The girl took out an automatic and shot him.  
> MORAL: It’s not so easy to fool little girls these days.

[When you have to shoot … shoot!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTcBgs2huRo)

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**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/22 "2015-02-08T20:52:43Z")

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> [@Johnny\_Q](#):
>
> I’ve always preferred the James Thurber version
> 
> The girl took out an automatic and shot him.  
> MORAL: It’s not so easy to fool little girls these days.

This is what I came into this thread to post!

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/23 "2015-02-08T21:02:44Z")

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The wolf felt the need to take “stalking his prey” to a whole new level, after the Little Pig incident.

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**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/24 "2015-02-08T22:00:05Z")

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> [@Ethilrist](#):
>
> The wolf felt the need to take “stalking his prey” to a whole new level, after the Little Pig incident.

Well, the big bad wolf, well, he huffed and he puffed  
All that he could  
And lo and behold  
The little piggy’s house stood  
It’s made out of concrete the little piggy shouted  
The wolf just frowned as he pouted  
So they called 911 like any piggy would  
They sent out Rambo just as fast as they could

Yo wolf face  
I’m your worst nightmare  
Your ass is mine

“Three Little Pigs” - Green Jelly

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**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/25 "2015-02-08T23:13:34Z")

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> [@BrainGlutton](#):
>
> I recall an old _Peanuts_ strip. Lucy is reading “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” to Linus.
> 
> LINUS: Excuse me, I have a question. It’s in regard to cooling. It seems to me that if the middle bowl were “too cold,” then the little bowl would have been “too cold” too, instead of “just right,” and . . .
> 
> LUCY: :mad: _WHAP_ YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!

I know, right? It’s a question of thermal mass. That always drove me crazy too.

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/26 "2015-02-08T23:49:42Z")

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Werewolf?  
There! Wolf.

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/27 "2015-02-09T00:35:42Z")

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What, you guys never play with your food?

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**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/28 "2015-02-09T01:54:07Z")

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> [@Lord\_Mondegreen](#):
>
> In a story where there’s a talking wolf, a girl who mistakes a talking wolf for her grandmother, and a wolf who “eats” people whole without apparently taking a bite (they are unharmed when cut out of his stomach), _that’s_ the nit that you pick? 😉

I noticed all those points when I first heard or read the story (I don’t remember which its was), but caught on that some times you just have to accept the reality of the story; I suspect that is a very important developmental milestone, now that I think of it.

But I’m kind of embarrassed that **Brainglutton’s** objection never occurred to me.

(I did wonder if perhaps LRRH wouldn’t have to worry about the Woodman next.)

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**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/29 "2015-02-09T06:41:06Z")

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> [@BrainGlutton](#):
>
> Wolf, you just caught a little girl alone in the forest. You want to eat her? Just eat her. What’s the point of all this rigamarole about getting ahead of her and posing as Grandma?

The wolf had a fetish. He always wanted to be in drag as a Grandma and now this was his chance.

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/30 "2015-02-09T15:13:33Z")

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> [@Johnny\_L.A](#):
>
> ‘Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to _eat you!_’  
> ‘Golly, don’t people screw anymore?’
> 
> ‘Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to _rape you!_’  
> ‘Not gonna happen, Big Boy. You’re going to stick to the script and _eat_ me!’

[TVTropes:](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/LittleRedRidingHood)

> [@](#):
>
> Depending on the version, the girl and her grandmother may be rescued by a passing huntsman or other benefactor, whereupon they may take revenge upon the wolf (in “Rotkäppchen”, they fill the wolf’s belly with stones); this may be the influence of _The Wolf and the Seven Young Kids_ or similar tales. In Perrault’s version, however, the story ends with the girl’s death, followed by a moral warning young ladies to beware of “wolves”, especially those who are “charming, quiet, unassuming, complacent, and sweet”. French folk versions (such as this one), which do not feature the red hat, have the heroine deduce the problem before the wolf eats her, and escape by saying she needs to visit the bathroom; folklorists believe this is the older version. note This is usually the conclusion to an alternative story where the Wolf asks Little Red to throw her clothes into the fire and get into Grandma’s bed with him, suggesting he has something in mind other than eating her.
> 
> A Homage to this story appears in the song “Hey Little Red Riding Hood” which makes the wolf out as a would-be suitor rather than a vicious animal wanting to consume her for food. This may be closer to the original version of the story, which some scholars believe to be a tale of seduction, with the red cape symbolizing menstruation, and therefore fertility. This hits the _slight_ problem that Perrault introduced the red cape. In the original folktales, no mention was made of any particular article of clothing, let alone its color.

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**Author:** ![Cartoonacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/31 "2015-02-09T21:21:39Z")

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Anyone else remember Stan Freberg’s [Little Blue Riding Hood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWunj7Yw3PQ)?

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**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/32 "2015-02-10T01:54:41Z")

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I think the real story is Little Red Riding Hood engaged in some kinky role playing with the wolf, but then things got out of hand, and she ended up falsely accusing the wolf of bad doin’s upon being discovered.

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**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/33 "2015-02-10T02:53:26Z")

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You see the Wolf as the victim in Little Red Riding Hood?

Well, at least you’re not claiming it was Grandmother’s fault for friend-zoning him.

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**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/34 "2015-02-10T04:12:12Z")

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Aha! An early Furry porn fic!

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**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/35 "2015-02-10T04:42:57Z")

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> [@Cartoonacy](#):
>
> Anyone else remember Stan Freberg’s [Little Blue Riding Hood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWunj7Yw3PQ)?

“But Grandma! What a big subpoena you have in your pocket!”

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**Author:** ![blue\_infinity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_infinity/32/2817_2.png) [@blue\_infinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blue_infinity)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/36 "2015-02-10T05:42:00Z")

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This is my favourite version of [Little Red Riding Hood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBvgRy8iTbY).

Hilariously bizarre and starring Christina Ricci.

It’s based on a pre-Grimm version of the story.

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**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/37 "2015-02-10T14:30:11Z")

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Several posters have gotten near the truth.

It is a moral tale about young girls talking to strangers.

The “wolf” was not _Canis lupus_ but _H. sapiens_. Yes, the idiom is that old.

If you read some of the old versions, it is more obvious (and a bit kinky in places :eek:)

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**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/38 "2015-02-10T14:43:04Z")

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Several of the old fairy tales have messages that are lost to the modern reader.

The obvious message of “The Three Little Pigs” is being industrious, but there is a subtext. This is a northern European story, where wild pigs of the Laurasian strain were in the forests. Think: wild boar. (Domestic pigs descend from an Oriental lineage.)

One pig runs away. Two pigs resist momentarily, then run. Three pigs kill the wolf and eat him. Get the message? :dubious:

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/39 "2015-02-10T14:50:23Z")

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> [@MacLir](#):
>
> Several of the old fairy tales have messages that are lost to the modern reader.
> 
> The obvious message of “The Three Little Pigs” is being industrious, but there is a subtext. This is a northern European story, where wild pigs of the Laurasian strain were in the forests. Think: wild boar. (Domestic pigs descend from an Oriental lineage.)
> 
> One pig runs away. Two pigs resist momentarily, then run. Three pigs kill the wolf and eat him. Get the message? :dubious:

Kill them while their backs are turned, or they’ll come back and gang up on you?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/little-red-riding-hood-nitpick/712013/40 "2015-02-10T15:09:00Z")

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> [@Ethilrist](#):
>
> Kill them while their backs are turned, or they’ll come back and gang up on you?

Close enough. 🙂

Could have been worse - look up the entelodonts. They were the Big Bad Pig. :eek:

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