I agree to the extent that you probably wouldn’t be happier by trying to live your life according to someone else’s expectations, but I also don’t think sitting around on your butt all weekend is particularly good for you either. You don’t have to take physical risks but you may be interested in other experiences. Surely your town has museums, caves, gardens, theaters, other-cultures’ foods, schools, festivals, games, you get the idea. You can have experiences that don’t require a jolt of adrenalin - take a cooking class, learn to paint, volunteer at the humane society. I have a friend who once a month throws a dart at a map of her state, learns a little about that place (or the nearest town), then takes her family there for the day to explore it. You wouldn’t have posted if your colleagues’ comments didn’t bother you at least a little bit.
Bottom line: do what you want, but don’t short-change yourself either.
The whole concept of “living life to the full” is a cosy Western concept anyway.
For most people in the world the concern is simply “living life”. They get more than enough thrills, spills and adrenaline rides avoiding the local militia, they get plenty of exercise in the great outdoors on their daily 12 mile walk to get water.
I cherish the fact that I can sit at home on a weekend and sip tea; I’ve met plenty of people all over the world who would give their right arm to have that option.
I found this idea as I was researching Buddhism a while back (paraphrasing, with apologies to the Big B): many people spend their lives in the accumulation of “stuff.” After a certain point, they are unable to travel or move, because they are attached to their stuff. They have to guard it, use it, watch it, clean it, etc. In the end, they become a prisoner to what they’ve acquired. To truly experience freedom, one must be free of their stuff.
I don’t have this “living life” thing figured out yet either, but thanks the Internet, I’ve traveled around the world many times over (in my mind), learned things I never would have expected (thanks Cecil!), and have new experiences every day (albeit vicariously.)
My wife and I disagree on this. She thinks traveling to a place is better than reading about it. I disagree. While she’s traveling, I could experience 3 or 4 other places in half the time for a fraction of the cost, and watch TV at the same time.
Well, having done both, I gotta agree with your wife. Internet or other research does not begin to touch to rich experience of being somewhere with the attendant smells, sights, people, foods, atmosphere - good and bad. I’d rather go one place than read about 100!
Do you have agoraphobia or a physical disability or something that you cannot travel with your wife?
We live in a remote area where it’s a 5-7 hour plane ride to the nearest continent, usually costing $800-1200 or more.
Interesting story: We went to Vegas about 2 years ago, and stopped by the Grand Canyon on a tour. What really struck us about the Grand Canyon was that it looked fake, like it was a painted backdrop.
Not every weekend, no, but sitting on your butt for a weekend every so often, or even on a regular basis, is perfectly OK, particuarly when balanced with other stuff that doesn’t involve sitting around.
Personally, while I enjoy doing things like flying amateur-built experimental airplanes (not only perceived as a high-risk thrill by many, sometimes it actually is one) I also enjoy the occasional day sitting on my butt reading a book and sipping tea (especially a really good book and really good tea). I would not consider my life complete or full without both of those sorts of activities.
A little unclear if your post was directed at me, or at the OP (who is a different person).
I went through about 10 years where I had the money to do thrilling things like fly airplanes. Heck, I even managed to get to Europe by age 17. Not bad. On the other hand, given that my finances are crap right now (thanks, Great Recession) I am once again enjoying things that are less “thrilling” as well as less expensive. I don’t think it’s an either-or thing, it being perfectly normal to go through times when one seeks physical thrills and other times one seeks safety and serenity.
Look, if some dude dies doing the mountain biking he loves and his family finds comfort in the fact he was doing what he loved… well, I’ve not much problem with that. Goodness knows I’ve buried a few friends and acquaintances over the years who died when the risks of their activities caught up with them. But I still try to take my risks in such a manner that I have a decent probability of dying of old age rather than accident.
Oops, sorry that was unclear. I was agreeing with your post in answer to the OP. And I absolutely agree that a good book and a cuppa is wonderful, too. I did not say everyone should fill every minute of every weekend “doing” stuff. I was simply suggesting to the OP that if he wants to live life to the fullest, which he seemed to be concerned about since he started the thread, he might consider expanding his horizons.
I do think it’s a good idea to acquire some tastes in life: there any many things that take a little getting used to but which can add a great deal of pleasure–someone who never advances past the ketchup and white bread palate of a toddler is somehow missing out, even if they enjoy everything they ever eat, because there’s so much more out there. That doesn’t mean that everyone has to like everything–I certainly don’t–but a person ought to push themselves out of their comfort zone sometimes, take a leap of faith that they will find things to like once they get out there.
That said, I consider reading different kinds of books and drinking different kinds of tea to be going outside my comfort zone, and I fully expect to spend my twilight years talking about books I’ve read.
Ever met a man walking with a limp? I’ve met many. Nine times out of ten it’s because of a motorcycle accident.
So many times I have been tempted to buy a motorcycle. But I always talk myself out of it. While I think riding a motorcycle would be a hell of a lot of fun, to me it’s simply not worth the risk.
Every thrill in life must be carefully weighed against risk, and how getting hurt could affect your current responsibilities. At this particular point in my life - with a wife and three young children to support - I have to be very conservative when it comes to engaging in risky behavior, else my family’s safety and security will be jeopardized.
After the children are out of school and on their own, I plan on buying my first motorcycle.
Let’s not go to the extreme here! Yes, not everyone needs to spend every weekend snowboarding. We all need downtime, and it’s perfectly okay to enjoy some quiet time.
But if you never spend your time pushing yourself, learning, exploring, developing interests and helping then you are also doing something wrong. It’s an incredible waste to spend your one and only life watching the days come and go without leaving a trace. It’s sad if your job leaves you so ruined that you have no energy for the life you work your job to pay for. It’s sad if fear keeps you from realizing what you have the capacity to do.
I love something. I love travel. And I do it. I’ve had the amazing fortune to be able to do quite a lot of it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “Oh, I’d love to do that, but I can’t.” In 99% of the situations, the person actually could. They might have to give up cable TV for a few months. They might have to rethink some career goals. But they absolutely had the capacity to. It’s the will that is missing.
Most of my friends are bright intelligent people. But most of them have pretty small comfort zones. After college I kind of broke away, and have done a lot of stuff. Most of them are still living in the same place, playing video games, hanging out with the same friends and just making enough money to survive. These kids could have made great art. They could have written books. They could have seen the world. They could have helped a lot of people. They could have learned languages. But they didn’t. They just took every day as it came and then left it the same way.
A lot of “live life to the fullest” debates are an adult version of the high school jocks vs. nerds. Jocks think that physical activity is required to do something of consequence – the more action, the better. Nerds think the opposite. More activity = less thinking = less important. The truth is they are both right – for themselves, anyway. As long as you are reasonably aware of your options and have made a conscious decision to pursue a given set of activities, you are indeed living your life to the fullest.
